ISfl    Sflfl 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 


The  JOHN  J.  and  HANNA  M.  MCMANUS 

MORRIS  N.  and  CHESLEY  V.  YOUNG 

Collection 


THE    GREAT    SEOKET 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES; 


OB, 


Harlequin  in  ijr* 
HOf  TO  SET  THEM  DP  Mi  HOI  TO  ACT  THEM. 

With  Fall  and  Concise  Instructions,  and  Numerous  Illustrations. 
By    TONY    DENIER, 

The  Celebrated  Comic  Pantomimist, 
Author  of  "TONY  DENIEB'S  PAELOB  PANTOMIMES,"  "AMATEUR'S  GUIDE,"  &c. 


NEW  YOEK: 
SAMUEL  FRENCH,  PUBLISHEE, 

No.  122.NASFATJ  STREET. 


tered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year.1868,  by 
O.     A.     ROORBACK, 

a  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  United  States  for  the  Southern 
District  of  New  York. 


GIFT 


INTEODUCTIOS" 


SOME  fifty  or  sixty  years  ago,  a  Frenchman,  one  Monsieur  Lunardi, 
arrived  in  London,  with  the  laudable  intention  of  ".astonishing  the 
natives,"  and  attempting  to  better  his  worldly  means  and  obtain 
a  little  of  "Mi  lor  Anglais"  substance,  in  exchange  for  a  sight  at 
some  novel  French  shadows.  The  bait  took,  the  thing  was  well  man- 
aged and  became  a  great  success  ;  and  the  whole  population  were  in 
a  furore  to  know  "how  it  was  done."  The  representations  first  took 
place  at  the  Old  Lyceum,  or  English  Opera  House,  as  it  was  then 
termed,  and  which  place  was  in  general  request  for  the  exhibition  of 

094 


IV  INTRODUCTION. 

any  and  every  thing  pertaining  to  the  marvelous.  Here  in  1803  and 
1804  one  Winsor  exhibited  and  explained  his  propositions  to  light 
the  public  streets  with  gas  ;  but  as  Winsor' s  statements  were  consid- 
ered at  "that"  time  extravagant  and  Baron-Munchausenish,  Winsor 
did  not  win  sir  many  converts  to  his  scheme  ;  and  although  an  en- 
larged experiment  was  made  by  lighting  up  a  portion  of  Pall  Mall 
and  the  colonnade  in  front  of  Carlton  Palace,  it  did  not  meet  with* 
favor,  and  the  project  was  abandoned.  The  practice  of  gas  lighting 
did  not  come  into  operation  till  the  year  1813,  when  the  first  char- 
tered gas  company  erected  their  works  in  Peter  street,  Westminster, 
London,  and  enlightened  the  darkness  of  the  inhabitants  of  one  of 
the  leading  cities  of  the  world,  which  has  been  improved  upon  and 
increased  from  time  to  time,  until,  at  the  present  day,  the  principal 
streets  and  crowded  thoroughfares  of  all  large  cities  are  occasionally, 
as  the  play  bills  say,  "  an  unparalleled  blaze  of  refulgent  light." 

But  to  return  to  the  shadows,  which,  as  we  have  before  intimated, 
were  first  exhibited  at  the  Old  Lyceum,  and  as  the  modus  operandi  and 
manner  of  carrying  it  out  was  entirely  in  the  heads,  hands,  and 
heels  of  the  Frenchman's  own  family,  and  as  all  strangers  were  rigid- 
ly excluded  from  being  "behind  the  scenes,"  the  secret  was  safely 
kept,  and  public  excitement  and  curiosity  consequently  greatly  in- 
creased. Monsieur  realized  a  very  handsome  sum  of  money,  and 
with  this  increased  his  substance,  but  it  would  appear  that  he  was  less 
careful  of  his  shadows;  for,  on  the  exhibition  being  removed  to  Old 
Vauxhall  Gardens,  London,  as  the  saying  is,  "the  cat  got  out  of  the 
bag,"  and  it  was  soon  found  out  that  the  whole  sum  and  substance  of 
the  wonderful  illusion,  "Les  Ombres  Chinois,"  Harlequin  in  the  Shades,  or 
the  "  Man  in  the  Moon-,"  as  he  termed  his  performance,  was  and  is 
nothing  more  than  a  clever  adaptation  of  a  very  simple  law  in  op- 
tics ;  so  if  any  of  our  readers  wish  to  amuse  themselves  and  families, 
and  astonish  their  friends,  they  will,  with  the  assistance  of  the  vari- 
ous sketches  and  diagrams  contained  in  this  book,  be  able  to  accom- 
plish the  same  to  the  satisfaction  of  all  the  company  present. 

Now  then  for  the  shadows.  After  a  stage,  or  school-room  platform, 
the  next  best  adapted  place  for  these  performances  is  a  drawing- room 
or  parlor,  where  there  are  folding-doors,  against  the  opening  of 
which,  on  a  common  wooden  frame  [See  Figure  1]  tack  up  or  fas- 
ten taut  and  tight  a  wet  sheet  or  muslin  cloth  the  size  required, 
immersed  before  tacking  up  in  a  tub  of  water,  and  then  well  wrung 
out.  Then  have  ready  a  light  in  a  pan.  This  is  arranged  by  having 


INTRODUCTION.  V 

a  small  tin  cup  made,  about  the  size  of  a  breakfast  cup,  to  the  bot- 
tom of  which,  inside,  must  be  soldered  a  piece  of  twisted  wire  [See 
Figure  2]  to  hold  some  cotton  to  serve  for  a  wick  ;  round  this  must 
be  placed  some  tallow  (that  cut  from  candles  is 
best)  or  fat,  which  must  be  pressed  down  close 
all  around,  leaving  about  a  quarter  of  an  inch  or 
so  of  the  cotton  sticking  up,  on  lighting  the  top 
of  which  it  will  burn  on,  gradually  melting  the 
fat  until  it  becomes  the  burning  center  of  a  hot 
•  2-  pan  of  fat.  An  earthenware  pan  or  bowl  should 

be  filled  up  to  about  one  inch  of  the  top  with  sand,  on  or  in 
which  the  fat  cup  should  be  placed.  [See  Fig.  3.]  This  is  a  very 
necessary  precaution,  as,  should  the  lamp  get  by  any  means  upset, 
the  hot  oil  and  grease  would  be  absorbed  by  the  sand,  and  save  the 
floor  and  carpet  of  the  room.  (The  Lighting  apparatus  described 
above  can  be  purchased  complete  by  applying  to  0.  A.  Roorbach, 
102  Nassau  St.,  New  York.) 

Having  all  these  things  in  readiness, 
viz. :  the  fat  pan  well  lighted,  the  sheet 
tightly  strained  to  the  opening  of  the 
doors,  and  the  company  of  spectators 
being  seated  on  one  side  of  the  wet  cloth, 
on  the  other  side  of  the  same  the  perform- 
ance is  to  occur,  and  the  light  is  to  be 
placed  on  the  floor,  about  four  or  five 

feet  frcm  the  center  of  the  cloth  ;  all  the  other  lights  must  be  put  out, 
and  the  actors  ready  to  carry  out  the  directions  that  are  given  to  per- 
form such  pantomime  or  sketch  as  they  may  have  selected,  the  effect  of 
which  will  be  much  increased  if  some  kind,  obliging  sister  or  cousin 
will  play  a  series  of  lively  tunes  on  the  piano,  to  add  "  music  to  the 
mirth,"  and  keep  the  game  alive.  All  who  are  not  engaged  in  the 
actual  performance  should  be  particular  and  keep  the  light  between 
them  and  the  cloth,  and  in  going  on  should  go  close  back  of  the  light 
and  jump  over  it  sideways.  This,  to  the  audience,  will  have  the  ap- 
pearance of  his  having  dropped  from  the  ceiling,  and  when  he  has 
finished  his  part  and  wishes  to  exit,  he  must  jump  back,  sideways, 
over  the  light,  and  he  will  appear  to  those  in  front  to  have  gone  up 
through  the  ceiling.  If  you  wish  to  do  it  well,  care  should  be  taken 
to  invariably  jump  over  the  light  sideways,  steadily  and  neatly — no 
hurrying  or  carelessness,  or  knocking  against  the  light— and  to  stand 


Vi  INTRODUCTION. 

and  go  through  the  business  and  pantomime  as  much  as  possible 
sideways  or  in  profile.  In  using  chairs  or  tables,  they  should  be 
placed  as  close  as  possible  to  the  wet  cloth,  without  causing  the  per- 
son sitting  down  or  working  in  front  of  them,  to  rub  or  bulge 
against  the  said  wet  sheet.  Arrange  everything  you  have  to  do  be- 
forehand by  rehearsing,  and  so  avoid  all  confusion  and  the  least  pos- 
sible chance  of  failure.  With  the  foregoing  general  directions  and 
explanations,  we  will  submit  the  outlines  and  substances  of  some 
shadow  performances,  which  can  be  rendered  very  amusing  and  com- 
ical if  done  with  neatness  and  precision,  and  never  fail  to  be  re- 
ceived with  astonishment  and  laughter. 

Eespectfully  submitted  for  your  approval  by  the 
Public's  Obedient  Servant, 

March,  1868.  TONY  DENIER. 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 


SHADOW    BUFF;    OR,  WHO'S    WHO? 

The  only  properties  required  in  this  comical,  optical,  guessical, 
quizzical,  substantial  extravaganza,  called  "Shadow  Buff  ;  or,  Who's 
Who  ? "  (being  a.  funny  dodge  for  an  evening's  entertainment)  is  the 
wet  sheet  and  the  light.  N.  B.  In  "  Shadow  Buff"  all  the  little 
Buffers  and  Bufferesses,  from  four  to  fourteen,  can  take  part,  to  the 
delight  of  their  friends,  and  themselves  in  particular.  To  play  the 
game  proceed  as  follows  :  As  many  pieces  of  paper  must  be  cut  as 
there  are  persons  to  play — say  ten — and  on  one  of  the  pieces  of  paper 
must  be  marked,  "  the  guesser. "  The  papers  are  now  placed  in  a 
hat  or  bag,  and  shaken  up  ;  then  each  person  is  to  draw  one,  and 
the  drawe'r  of  ' '  the  guesser ' '  must  take  his  or  her  place  on  the 
audience  side  of  the  wet  cloth  or  screen,  (while  the  others  go  to  the 
back)  and  as  each  of  the  shadows  of  the  others  come  in  view,  either 
by  jumping  over  the  light  or  coming  from  the  side,  endeavor  to 
guess  their  names,  they  remaining  long  enough  for  "  the  guesser" 
to  make  three  guesses  at  the  name,  and  if  not  guessed  right  on  the 
third  the  shadow  to  disappear  and  another  take  its  place.  If  the 
persons  are  nearly  of  one  height,  and  no  great  peculiarity  of 
dress  occurs,  some  difficulty  will  be  found  in  always  guessing  "Who's 
•who? " 

NOTE. — If  any  ladies  are  to  take  part  in  this,  or  any  other  panto- 
mime, the  stage  manager  or  director  of  the  entertainment  should  be 
particular  in  making  all  to  come  on  from  the  sides — no  jumping 
over  the  light  in  this  for  ladies,  young  or  old,  so  that  no  accident 
from  a  dress  catching  fire  can  possibly  take  place.  Also  if  the  ladies 
put  on  different  hats  or  bonnets  than  those  they  are  in  the  habit  of 
wearing,  or  exchanging  with  one  another,  and  the  gentlemen  exchange 
hats,  coats,  &c.,  or  ruffle  up  their  hair,  or  put  something  under  their 
coats  up  near  the  shoulders,  to  make  them  have  the  appearance  of 
being  humpbacked,  or  stand  nearer  the  light,  which  will  make 
them  look  taller,  or  screw  their  faces  up  so  their  shadow  will  look 
different,  or  do  anything  that  fun  may  suggest  to  alter  their  appear- 
ance, it  will  be  much  more  difficult  for  the  guesser  to  guess  their 
names.  They  must  come  separately,  one  by  one  before  the  light, 
and  if  the  guesser  guesses  any  one's  name  rightly,  he  or  she  must 
take  the  guesser 's  place,  and  the  guesser  go  to  make  one  of  the  sha- 
dows, and  so  on,  as  in  the  old  game  of  Blind  Man's  Buff. 


8  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

THE    DENTIST;    OR,    TOOTH-DRAWING    EXTRAORDINARY. 

The  properties  needed  for  this  laughable  sketch  are  very  easily 
gotten  up,  and  consist  of  a  profile  tooth,  a  lancet,  a  pair  of  pincers, 
a  false  nose,  a  handkerchief,  and  a  chair. 

This  is  commenced   by  Actor  No.  1   jumping  over  the  light  and 
expressing  in   pantomime   by  putting   his  hands  to   his  jaws  and 
mouth,  what  a  dreadful  bad  toothache  he  has  got,  and  by  stamping 
with  his  feet  on  the  floor,  calling  for  the  doctor;  then  let  Actor  No.  2 
(the   doctor)  appear,  by  jumping   over   the  light,  and   taking  the 
sufferer  by  the  chin  and  nose,  wrench  open  his  mouth  to  have  a 
good  look  in  ;  then   take  a   handkerchief  and  tie  up  the  patient's 
jaw,  giving  him   now  and  then  some   good  taps  on  the  top  of  his 
head  ;  then  leaving  the  toothache  subject  to  moan,  groan,  and  twist 
his  head  and  body  about,  let  Actor  No.  2  jump  back  over  the  light, 
and  then  again  jump  forward  over  the  light  with  a  chair.     Let  him 
take  hold  of  the  patient,  or  Actor  No.  1,  and  put  him  in  the  chair  ; 
then  untie  the  handkerchief  that  ties  up  the  jaw,  and  go  through 
any  kind    of  rough,  comic    examination  that   tact   and    fun   may 
suggest — always  bearing  in  mind  to  have  "method 
^f    in   his    madness."     If  the    person  who   takes    the 
ji&     part   of    the    doctor    finds    himself    equal    to    the 
^J      task   he   can    introduce  a   little  quiet  "patter,"  as 
JS&          the  professionals  call  it,  by  saying   as   he  examines 
Jj&  the  patient's  mouth:    "Oh,  ah,  a  dreadful  case, 

ff&jr  my  son,  an  awful  bad  tooth  ;  one  of  your  grinders  ;  a 

regular  double-pronged  molar — no  cure  whatever 
for  it,  twenty  bottles  of  my  wonderful  and  extraor- 
dinary 'Diopporeticum  Bezovardicum,"  or  my  most 
astonishing  cure  all,  the  renowned  'Lypapeodestiction- 
sorewarmer,'  would  not  cure  it.  It  must  come  out  and 
no  mistake;  so,  here  John, bring  me  my  No.  1  lancet." 
John,  the  assistant,  (a  thin  tall  person,  if  there  is 
one  among  the  company)  now  jumps  over  the  light 
and  presents  the  doctor  with  the  lancet.  [See  Fig.  4] 
The  doctor  then  says,  "  Now,  John,  lay  hold  of  his 
head,  while  I  lance  his  gums,  previous  to  the  draw- 
ing." Then  he  takes  the  wooden  lancet,  and  rolling 
up  his  sleeves,  gives  it  two  or  three  flourishes,  and 
a  grotesque  sharpening  or  edging  upon  the  hand,  as 
barbers  do  their  razors.  Then,  with  the  assistance 
HI  of  John,  who  holds  the  patient's  head  back,  just  in- 

sert the  lancet  in  the  mouth  of  the  patient,  and  ap- 
*%?•  4.  pear  to  lance  and  cut  the  gums.  Then  say,  "  Now, 
John,  for  the  small  patent  plyers,  or  the  new  atmospheric  extract- 
ors." John  says,  "Yes,  sir,"  and  jumps  over  the  light,  and  in- 
stantly returns  with  the  plyers,  [See  Fig.  5]  which  are  simply  two 
sticks  of  thin  wood,  screwed  with  one  screw,  so  that  they  will 
open  like  a  pair  of  scissors — the  sticks  of  wood  to  be  about  three 
feet  long,  and  one  inch  and  a  half  wide — and  when  inserting  them  in 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 


9 


the  patient's  month,  stand  off  at  arm's  length,  while  John  fastens 
to  the  edge  of  the  pincers,  by  a  small  loop,  a  large  profile  tooth, 
(a  solid  one  is  better  if  it  can  be  made)  made  of  pasteboard  or 
thin  wood.  [See  Fig.  6]  This  he  can  easily  do  as  he  is  "  patterinj 


about  the  patient's  h 


during  the  operation.  The  profile  tooth, 
wJTich  is  at  first  concealed  by  the  assistant 
in  the  folds  of  his  dress,  can,  during  the 
fun  and  struggle  at  the  extricating,  be 
masked  by  the  hands  of  the  patient  and 
assistant,  when  at  last  with  a  jerk,  out  it 
comes,  to  all  appearance,  from  the  patient's 
mouth  ;  when  up  he  jumps,  quite  overjoyed, 
waves  his  handkerchief  over 
his  head,  knocks  the  doctor 
and  his  man  down  and  jumps 
over  the  light,  the  doctor  in 
a  fit  of  desperation  seizes  his 
man  by  the  nose  with  the 
pincers,  and  in  the  struggle 
the  nose  drops  off,  when  the 
doctor  in  terror  jumps  over 
the  light  and  exits.  The  as- 
sistant gets  up,  rubs  his  nose, 
looks  up  to  the  ceiling,  then 
seizing  the  chair,  jumps  over 
the  light. 

Fig.Q. 


AMPUTATION  LIKE  WINKING;    OE,  THE  MARVELOUS 
REVIVER. 

As  ACTED   BY   DR.    DRENCH   AND   HIS  MEN   IN   THE  MOON. 

Properties. — A  light  wooden  table,  a  profile  knife,  a  profile  saw,  a 
cup,  a  bottle,  a  galley-pot,  and  a  profile  arm.  (The  knife,  saw,  bot- 
tle, galley-pot  and  arm  are  to  be  cut  out  of  stiff  pasteboard  or  mill- 
board). 

In  this  entertainment,  the  frame  on  which  the  wet  cloth  is  stretched 
should  have  a  piece  of  pasteboard  or  stiff  brown  paper  fastened  at 
each  corner.  They  should  be  cut  so  as  to  give  (when  put  on  the 
frame)  the  appearance  of  a  circle  or  moon. 

To  enact  this  scene,  the  one  who  personates  the  character  of  the 
patient  must  have  his  genuine  arm  (the  right  will  be  the  best,  fas- 
tened to  his  side,  so  that  no  involuntary  movement  may  betray  it ; 
then  to  his  shoulder  must  be  lightly  attached  a  pasteboard  arm.  [See 
Fig.  7.]  When  he  jumps  over  the  light,  he  should  pace  once  or  twice 


10 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 


backward  and  forward  across  close  to  the  sheet,  being 
very  careful  not  to  touch  the  same  ;  and  give  in  pan- 
tomimic action,  groaning,  &c.,  the  appearance  of  great 
pain  ;  then  the  doctor's  man,  John,  should  jump  over 
the  light  with  a  chair,  and  by  force  seat  the  patient 
in  it,  and  say,  "  Patience,  my  dear  sir  ;  ray  master, 
the  great  Doctor  Drench,  will  be  here  in  the  twinkling 
of  a  galley-pot."  The  doctor  should  now  jump  over 
the  light,  and  examining  the  patient  very  roughly, 
exclaim,  ''Oh,  dear,  John,  what's  all  this  ?  a  fracture  ! 
a  flaw  !  a  broken  arm  !  Dear  me,  dear  me,  poor  fel- 
low, his  right  Osboxtherumgrubberumlift  is  severely 
damaged  and  broken."  Then,  taking  the  pasteboard 
arm,  lift  it  up  and  down  to  show  its  broken  and  frac- 
tured condition,  saying  all  the  time  he  is  doing  so, 
"  Dear  me.  bad  case — difficult  job.  I  plainly  see  I 
must  use  the  saw.  Now,  John,  quick,  bring  the  table,  •*•»•  '« 
and  get  the  porter  to  help  you,  as  we  shall  want  him  to  help  to  hold 
the  patient.  John  says,  "  Yes,  i?ir,"  and  jumps  over  the  light,  and 
instantly  returns  with  the  porter,  and  carrying  the  table.  This  must 
be  neatly  and  adroitly  managed  to  have  good  effect.  The  table  must 
be  placed  as  near  as  possible  to  the  light  at  the  back,  and  the*two 
characters,  John  and  the  porter,  lay  hold  each  of  one  end,  jump  re- 
gularly and  together  over  the  light,  to  give  the  proper  effect.  It 
ought'to  be  a  very  light,  small  pine  table,  made  for  the  purpose. 
[See  Fig.  8.]  When  the  table  is  over,  the  doctor  should  still  go  on 


Fig.  8. 

with  his  orders  and  directions,  and  keep  the  scene  up  by  talking  to 
the  patient  and  ordering  the  assistants  about,  as,  "  Dear  me,  my 
man.  how  do  you  feel  now  ?"  and  at  this  the  patient  should  moan  and 
gr»an,  and  throw  up  his  legs  as  if  in  agony  ;  then  the  doctor  should 
take  him  by  the  leg,  and  say,  "  Ah  !  oh  !  my  man,  you  have  had 
some  money  left  you  lately,"  at  which  the  patient  should  shake  his 
head  :  "  No,  uo."  Then  the  doctor,  holding  up  his  leg,  should  say, 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  11 

u  No,  no  !  What  do  you  mean  by  no,  no  ?  when  here's  a  good  leg- 
i-see  (legacy)."  The  doctor  still  goes  on  talking—  "  Now,  John, 
bring  the  saw,  my  favorite  hackemoffquick  ;  and  my  large  knife, 
the  two-foot  ham  carver  ;  and  you,  porter,  go  for  the  Chloroforum- 
nosecerumsnifferumpainstopperum. ' '  John  and  the  porter  now  j  ump 
over  the  light,  and  as  quickly  come  back,  one  with  a  profile  bottle, 
[See  Fig.  9,]  and  the  other  with  the  saw  and  knife,  [See  Figs  10  and 
11,]  the  doctor,  during  this,  keeping  up  the  attention  of  the  au- 
dience in  front,  by  his  by-play,  and  the  patient  assisting  in  the  il- 
lusion, by  grunting,  groaning,  moaning  and  kicking  up  his  heels. 
*'  My  little  page,  Jim,  says  that  if  he  attends  to  these  directions 
he'll  do  very  well  ;  in  fact,  he  will  act  with  his  com- 
rades in  toetoe,  and  not  put  his  foot  in  it."  (N.  B. 
These  are  old  jokes.]  The  instruments,  the  saw,  the 
knife,  and  the  bottle  should  be  placed  on  the  table, 
which  table  should  be  pushed  a  good  deal  to  the 
side,  and  the  patient  brought  as  much  as  possible  to 
the  center  ;  then  the  doctor  should  commence  by 
taking  the  profile  knife,  putting  it  between  his  teeth, 
and  then  tucking  up  his  shirt  sleeves  ;  this  will  give 
quite  a  manslaughtering  aspect  to  the  affair,  and  have 
a  killing  effect.  (As  our  Jim  says  that  manslaughter 
"•  is  the  same  as  man's-laughter.)  John  and  the  por- 
ter should  also  tuck  up  their  sleeves  and  take  their  places — one  be- 
hind the  patient,  to  hold  his  head  ;  the  other  at  his  side,  to  hold 
his  arm,  when,  after  some  by-play  by  the  doctor,  of  moving  the 
patient's  arm  up  and  down,  examining  the  teeth  of  the  saw,  and 
sharpening  the  knife  on  his  hand,  he  should  call  for  the  cloth  ; 
this  the  porter  must  bring  from  the  table.  Then  he  must  call  for 
the  Chlorqforumnosecerumsnifferumpainstopperum.  The  porter  then  gets 
the  bottle  from  the  table  and  gives  it  to  him,  and  he  appears  to 
pour  some  of  its  contents  on  the  cloth,  and  then  pass  it  back- 
ward and  forward  cinder  the  patient's  nose.  The  patient  seems 
to  quietly  doze  off  to  sleep,  and  his  head  falls  back,  and  then 


Fig.  10. 

comes  the  final  operation  of  taking  off  the  arm,  which  must  be 
done  by  the  assistant  holding  up  the  profile  arm,  and  the  doctor 
cutting  round  the  same  with  his  knife  ;  then,  taking  the  profile 
saw,  sawing  through  the  bone.  While  this  is  being  done,  if  the 
doctor  (or  any  one  else  very  sharp  set)  can  make  a  noise  with  his 


12  SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 

mouth  like  sawing  wood,  all  would  be  very  well,  and  the  illusion 
improved.  If  genius  of  this  kind  is  not  discoverable,  get  some 
one  at  the  side  to  give  the  effect  with  a  veal  saw  and  a  piece  of 
wood,  which  would  be  much  better.  Behold,  and  see  the  arm  is  off, 
and  held  up  in  triumph,  as  a  proof  of  the  doctor's  amputating 
skill.  Then  he  should  say  "Now,  John,  go  down  into  the  sur- 
gery for  a  pot  of  my  Revivcremlikewirikin,  my  instantaneous  life-re- 
storer." John  jumps  over  the  light  for  the  pot.  [See  Fig.  12.] 
The  doctor  still  goes  on  talking  :  "This  instantaneous  composition 
is  the  greatest  invention  of  the  age.  ft  is  made  from  the  real 
Egyptian  mummy  dust,  and  was  invented  by  a  mummer  or  a 
mummy,  who  brought  himself  to  life  again,  after  being  defunct 
sixteen  thousand  years.  It's  astonishing  what  it  will  do,  and  more 
astonishing  still,  what  it  won't  do.  I'll  just  tell  you  a  story  of  it 
in  connection  with  a  pig's  tail.  Farmer  Oatstraw  had  a  pig  he 
called  Porkibus.  Now  Porkibus  was  called  Porkibus  because— be- 
cause he  wasn't  called 
anything  else  ;  and  Por- 
kibus, as  I  have  said  be- 
fore, was  a  pig  with  a 
curly  tail.  Oh,  I  didn't  Fig.  II. 

say  it  before,  didn't  I?  of  course  not.  The  tail's  behind,  isn't  it  ? 
of  course  it  is.  Very  well,  then  to  proceed  with  it.  You  must 
know  that  when  Porkibus  was  very  young,  he  was  so  frightened 
by  a  small  cross  dog,  that  he  became  cwrly-tailed  ever  after. 
Now,  this  same  curly-tailed  pig  met  with  a  sad  accident  ;  one  day, 
jumping  out  of  his  stye  to  show  his  style,  his  tail  caught  on  a.  hook, 
while  he  was  hooking  it.  That  hook  had  escaped  his  eye,  and  he 
didn't  see  it,  and  by  this  sad  mischance  he  chanced  to  lose  his 
much  valued  curly  appendage.  Now,  three  appli- 
cations of  my  valuable  reviver  and  restorer  not 
only  caused  the  tail  to  crop  up  again,  but  every 
morning  half  an  ounce  of  pig-tail  baccy  was  found 
growing  to  the  end  of  it ;  in  fact,  as  regards  the 
baccy,  every  morning  there  were  returns  of  the 
^^^  very  finest  cut,  and  every  month  a  crop  of  half- 
*  a-dozen  corkscrews  ;  but  that  perhaps  you'll  say 
1-.  jg  ft  corfaf.  .  but  j  really  assure  you  I  am  draw- 
ing it  mild.  t  So  much  for  the  pig.  Now,  John,  where  is  the  won- 
derful ointment  ?  and  now  for  the  patient's  arm,  to  practice  my 
wonderful  discovery."  A  piece  of  rag  is  taken  by  the  doctor,  ana 
he  appears  to  anoint  the  top  part  of  the  arm  and  shoulder,  the 
fastening  at  the  side  of  the  patient  that  has  secured  the  arm  is 
loosened  by  the  assistant,  and  the  patient  gradually  works  the 
arm  out,  and  waves  it  aloft  in  triumph  ;  when  the  four  charac- 
ters, patient,  doctor,  assistant  and  the  porter  perform  a  grotesque 
dance,  and  then  exit  over  the  light,  the  patient  with  the  chair, 
the  doctor  with  the  saw,  knife,  bottle  and  pot,  and  the  two  assist- 
ants with  the  table,  each  taking  hold  of  one  end,  as  when  they 
brought  it  on. 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  13 

THE  HAUNTED  HOUSE  ;  OR,  THE  FRIGHTENED  TRAVELER. 

Properties  required. — A  sofa  without  a  back,  to  be  placed  on  one 
side  near  the  curtain,  with  a  sheet  spread  on  it  to  give  it  the  appear- 
ance of  a  bed.  A  lot  of  candles  in  candlesticks,  two  policemen's 
clubs,  a  gong,  a  carpet-bag,  a  valise,  some  old  hats,  caps,  pants,  tin 
plates,  basins,  &c.,  some  live  cats  and  dogs.  A  pitchfork,  a  pail  of 
sawdust,  a  knife  and  lantern.  A  mask  fastened  to  the  end  of  a 
stick  about  four  feet  long,  with  a  sheet  tied  round  the  neck,  and  to 
hang  down  over  the  person  playing  the  ghost. 

This  is  commenced  by  the  traveler  jumping  over  the  light,  with  a 
carpet-bag  in  his  hand,  and  he  stumbles  and  falls  over  on  to  his 
back — a  noise  being  made  by  some  one  outside,  as  of  glass  breaking, 
and  noise  of  gong;  the  same  person,  with  assistants,  to  stand  back  of 
the  light,  and  throw  the  valise,  old  hats,  caps,  pantaloons,  tin 
plates,  basins,  &c.,  over  the  light  on  to  the  traveler,  simultaneously 
with  his  falling.  When  all  the  things  have  fallen  on  him,  he  scram- 
bles up  into  a  sitting  position,  and  exclaims  very  innocently,  "Am  I 
all  here  ?  "  At  this  the  landlady  comes  on  from  the  side  and  calls 
out  to  him,  "Here,  sir,  what  do  you  mean  by  breaking  through  my 
skylight  sash  ?  "  The  traveler  says,  "  I  couldn't  help  it ;  I  sosAayed 
through  for  a  short  cut."  The  landlady  says,  "Do  you  know 
you've  broken  every  pane  of  glass  in  that  window."  The  traveler 
says, very  innocently,  "Well,  I  didn't  take  muchpains  to  do  it,  did  I  ?" 
The  landlady  says,  ' '  No,  sir,  you  did  not,  and  you  shall  be  made  to 
pay  for  the  damage  you  have  done,  and  to  quit  this  hotel  instantly." 
Traveler,  in  astonishment,  says,  "What !  is  this  a  hotel  ?  why,  that 
is  just  the  place  I  was  looking  for  ;  I  want  a  nice  quiet  room,  where 
I  will  not  be  disturbed  by  any  noises,  such  as  quarrelsome  cats  and 
fighting  dogs,  for  I  am  a  very  nervous  young  man,  and  want  peace 
and  quiet,  and  will  pay  you  very  liberally  for  the  same,  if  you  can 
accommodate  me."  Landlady  says,  very  politely,  "If  that  is  the  case, 
sir,  you  can  be  suited  right  here  ;  this  is  the  quietest  hotel  in  the 
town  ;  there  is  a  comfortable  bed,  and  you  can  go  to  sleep,  and  I 
will  guarantee  you  will  not  be  disturbed  by  noises  or  anything  of 
the  kind.  "  Traveler  says,  "  Very  well,  ma'am,  I  will  conclude  to 
stop  here  to-night,  so  please  call  me  at  eight  o'clock  in  the  morning, 
and  let  me  have  a  nice  breakfast."  Landlady  says,  "Yes,  sir,  good 
night,  sir,"  and  goes  off.  Traveler  says,  "Good  night,"  feels  the 
bed,  and  says,  "  Now,  this  looks  like  a  comfortable  place  ;  the  last 
place  I  stopped  at  I  couldn't  get  a  wink  of  sleep,  for  dreaming  of 
ghosts,  and  other  things,  and  euch  horrid  noises  I  never  heard  be- 
fore, but  I  think  I  shall  be  all  right  here,  so  I'll  just  undress,  and 
then  to  bed,  to  sleep— as  Mrs.  Macbeth  says  in  the  play.  He  then 
pulls  off  his  coat,  hat,  vest,  necktie,  and  is  just  going  to  pull  off 
his  pantaloons,  when  he  says,  "I  guess  I'll  keep  these  on  in  case 
of  fire."  Then  goes  and  lies  down  on  the  sofa,  pulls  the  sheet  over 
him,  and  then  goes  to  sleep  ;  then  a  person  standing  back"  of  the 
light  puts  his  hand  over  in  front  of  the  light,  so  as  the  shadow 
of  the  hand  is  thrown  above  the  face  of  the  traveler,  then  work 


14 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 


Fig.  13. 


the  fingers  as  if  tickling  his  face, 
and  withdraw  the  hand  suddenly  as 
the  traveler  wakes  up  in  bed,  slaps 
his  face,  and  tosses  his  arms  about 
and  exclaims,  "  Bother  these  mos- 
quitoes, they  won't  let  a  body 
sleep,"  says,  "  Shew,"  yawns,  and 
lies  down  again.  The  person  back 
of  light  puts  his  doubled  fist  over 
in  front  of  light,  and  shadow  is 
thrown  above  traveler's  face,  and 
punches  him  in  the  nose  ;  another 
party  back  of  light  must  clap  his 
hands  just  as  shadow  of  fist  hits 
traveler's  nose  ;  the  fist  is  with- 
drawn, and  traveler  wakes  up,  ex- 
claiming, "Oh,  my  nose  !"  and  acts 
as  if  it  hurt  him  very  much,  and 
then  lies  down  on  his  face,  and 
sticks  his  back  up  by  kneeling  on 
his  knees.  Then  the  person  back 
of  light  holds  a  pitchfork  in  front 
of  the  light,  so  as  to  throw  the 
shadow  above  the  traveler's  back, 
and  makes  it  appear  as  if  sticking 
it  into  the  traveler's  back  two  or 
three  times,  and  quickly  removes 
the  pitchfork.  The  traveler  turns 
over  on  r-:~  back  and  groans  very 
loudly,  when  the  person  back  of 
light  empties  the  pail  of  sawdust 
in  front  of  light,  so  as  the  sha- 
dow of  it  is  thrown  on  or  above 
traveler' s  head.  The  traveler  sits  up 
and  motions  brushing  the  sawdust 
off  him,  and  exclaims,  "Here, 
landlady  !  your  roof  leaks,  and  I 
am  wet  through."  Then  lies  down 
again,  and  groans  very  loudly, 
when  the  ghost  with  the  sheet,  stick 
and  mask  [See  Fig.  13.]  jumps  over 
the  light  and  walks  round,  and 
down  to  the  foot  of  traveler's  bed, 
and  bends  the  stick  over  him  and 
hits  him  with  it  and  then  stoops 
down.  The  traveler  wakes  up  and 
pushes  his  hair  up,  looks  very  much 
frightened,  and  the  ghost  com- 
mences to  raise  up  the  stick  and 
stands  up  straight,  making  a  very 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  16 

tall  ghost.  The  traveler  struggles  to  speak  and  finally  exclaims, 
"Oh!  oh  !  a  g-g-g-ghost ."  When  the  ghost  immediately  jumps 
over  the  light  and  disappear.  The  traveler  looks  around,  and 
f cells  very  much  relieved,  and  is  about  to  lie  down  again,  when  the 
person  back  of  light  throws  over  it  some  cats  and  dogs,  which  are 
to  be  made  to  run  off.  Traveler  sees  them,  and  exclaims:  "Oh, 
my!  the  house  is  haunted,"  and  pulls  the  sheet  up  over  his  head 
and  exposes  his  feet  and  lies  down  to  sleep,  when  a  burglar  jumps 
over  the  light,  with  a  lantern  and  large  knife,  [See  Fig.  10]  looks 
cautiously  round  and  goes  to  traveler's  vest,  which  he  has  placed  on 
a  chair,  and  takes  out  the  traveler's  watch,  a  large  one  with  a  chain, 
holds  it  up  to  show  it,  and  then  puts  it  in  his  own  pocket ;  then 
goes  over  to  the  traveler,  and  holds  up  the  lantern  over  him,  looks 
at  him,  and  threatens  him  with  the  knife,  then  catches  him  by  the 
legs  of  his  pantaloons  and  pulls  them  off,  and  waves  them  above 
his  head  in  triumph,  and  then  jumps  over  the  light.  (N.  B. 
The  traveler  can  have  another  pair  of  pantaloons  underneath, 
but  tied  at  the  ankles  to  look  like  drawers.)  The  traveler 
jumps  up  and  exclaims,  "Murder!  Robbery!  Thieves!"  jumps 
out  of  bed  and  then  jumps  over  the  light.  The  landlady  runs  in 
from  the  side  with  a  lighted  candle,  and  with  her  night-cap  on;  sees 
the  traveler  gone,  and  exclaims:  "Here,  you  sir,  come  back  and 
pay  for  your  lodging,"  and  jumps  over  the  light  in  pursuit.  Then  a 
lot  of  ladies  and  gents  in  their  night-gowns  and  night-caps,  repre- 
senting the  disturbed  lodgers,  and  with  lighted  candles  in  their 
hands,  rush  in  from  both  sides  in  alarm,  and  exclaiming,  "Kobbers  ! 
Police!"  and  then  jump  over  the  light.  Then  two  policemen 
rush  in  from  the  sides  and  flourish  their  clubs,  then  jump  over  the 
light.  This  last  part  must  be  done  very  quick,  and  will  be  found 
very  laughable. 


WE  WON'T  GO  HOME  TILL  MOKNING ;  OE,  RECOLLECTIONS 
OF  THE  OPERA. 


All  the  properties  required  for  this  sketch,  are  two  pint  cham- 
pagne bottles  filled  with  water,  and  with  corks  that  may  be  easily 
drawn  out  with  the  fingers.  Two  policemen's  clubs,  coats,  caps,  &c.  A 
night-cap  and  dressing-gown,  and  a  large  padded  club,  for  the  old 
gent.  Two  large  cards,  with  the  names  of  George  and  Frank  cut  out, 
so  they  will  reflect  plainly  on  the  sheet. 

This  laughable  "  Bon  Mot "  is  commenced  by  two  young  men 
entering  simultaneously  from  opposite  sides,  and  keeping  close  to 
the  sheet,  without  touching  it,  and  walking  rather  unsteadily,  as  if 
they  had  been  out  and  enjoyed  themselves  and  indulged  rather  too 
freely  in  a  very  bad  habit.  As  they  walk  along  they  knock  against 
each  other  in  the  center  of  the  sheet,  and  both  stagger  back  very 
indignantly  and  commence  talking  and  menacing  each  other,  say- 


16  SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 

ing,  "What  do  you  mean,  sir,  by  knocking  against  me  in  that 
manner?"  One  of  these  quarrelsome  young  gents  says,  "It  was 
your  fault,  sir."  The  other  says,  "  No,  sir,  it  was  not  my  fault,  it 
was  your  fault."  Number  one  says,  "  Sir,  if  you  doubt  my  word, 
when  I  say  it  was  your  fault,  sir,  you  insult  me,  sir."  Number  two 
says,  "  No,  sir,  you  insulted  me,  and  I  demand  the  satisfaction 
due  a  gentleman.  There's  my  card,  sir."  Number  one  takes  it  and 
says,  "Very  well,  sir,  accept  mine."  They  exchange  cards,  and* 
while  looking  at  them  bold  them  up,  so  the  letters  will  be  reflected 
on  the  sheet,  and  the  audience  able  to  see  them.  Then  number  one 
exclaims:  "What!  George!"  Number  two  exclaims,  "What! 
Frank!"  Then  they  both  throw  their  cards  back  over  the  light, 
(and  they  will  have  the  appearance  of  having  gone  up  in  the  air) 
and  they  both  embrace  and  shake  hands.  Number  one  says  :  "I'm 
very  much  surprised  to  see  you  ;  where  have  you  been  so  late  ?  " 
Number  two  says  :  "  Why,  I  have  been  to  the  opera  this  evening." 
Number  one  says,  "  Were  you  there  ?  why,  I  was  there  myself ;  1 
went  to  see  Faust,  and  liked  it  first-rate.  But  talking  is  dry  work  ; 
suppose  we  take  a  smile."  Number  two  says,  "  It's  too  late,  all  the 
public  houses  are  shut  up  ;  but  I've  got  a  private  bottle  in  my  pocket, 
so  take  some  of  this."  [Offers  bottle]  Number  one  says,  "I've  got  a 
private  bottle,  too,  [Shows  it]  and  a  novel  idea  with  it ;  suppose  we 
change  bottles  and  drink  each  other's  health."  Number  two  says, 
"Agreed."  They  exchange  bottles,  and  then  touch  the  bottles  to- 
gether, and  drink,  and  touch  the  bottles  and  drink  again,  and  repeat 
it,  and  gradually  get  a  little  tipsy,  and  stagger  nearer  the  light,  al- 
ternately, and  back  again  near  the  curtain.  (This  will  make  the  il- 
lusion of  their  bodies,  growing  larger  as  they  near  the  light  and 
smaller  as  they  near  the  curtain.)  Number  one  says,  "  Hie,  George, 
do  you  remember  how  the  soldiers'  chorus  goes?"  Number  two  says, 
"  I  believe  you,  my  boy,  hie,"  and  sings  a  few  bars  of  chorus,  la, 
la,  &c.,  then  breaks  into  the  old  song,  "We  won't  go  home  till 
morning,  we  won't  go  home  till  morning."  Number  one  says, 
"Stop  !  stop!  that's  not  it,  it  goes  this  way,"  and  sings  part  of 
chorus,  la,  la,  &c.,  and  gradually  breaks  into,  "  We  won't  go  home 
till  morning,  hie,  we  won't  go  home  till  morning,  hie,  we  won't  go 
home  till  morning,  till  daylight  does  appear."  Then  they  both  sing 
very  loudly,  and  an  old  gent  in  dressing-gown,  night-cap,  and  slip- 
pers, comes  on  from  side  with  a  lighted  candle  in  his  hand,  and  says, 
"  Look  here,  men,  if  you  don't  go  home,  or  somewhere  else  with 
your  noise  and  bawling,  I'll  call  the  police,  and  have  you  both  ar- 
rested and  sent  to  the  station  house."  They  both  sing  louder,  and 
the  old  gent  calls,  "  Police  !  Police!"  and  they  throw  water  from 
the  bottles  in  his  face,  and  he  runs  off,  and  they  both  laugh  and  sing 
still  louder,  when  two  policemen  jump  over  and  stand  near  the 
light,  (this  will  make  their  shadows  very  tall)  and  hold  their 
clubs  up  over  the  heads  of  the  young  men  and  threaten  them,  at 
which  action,  on  seeing  it,  they  appear  very  much  frightened,  and 
hold  up  their  bottles  to  the  shadows  of  the  policemen's  noses,  at 
which  they  lower  their  clubs,  as  if  they  liked  the  smell,  and  walk 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  17 

sideways,  nearer  to  the  curtain,  and  take  the  bottles  from  the  young 
men,  and  laugh  and  slap  the  young  men  on  the  back  and  get  very 
jolly,  and  all  laugh,  and  the  young  men  sing  again,  and  the  police- 
men keep  on  drinking,  and  finally  get  slightly  intoxicated,  and  join 
in  the  singing,  going  nearer  to  the  light,  and  then  nearer  the  cur- 
tain again.  In  the  height  of  their  merriment  the  old  gent  comes  on 
and  says,  "  Yon  won't  go  home  till  morning,  won't  you  ?  I'll  see  if 
I  can't  help  you  a  little."  He  rolls  up  his  sleeves  and  goes  off.  and 
re-enters  with  the  large  club,  and  he  swings  it  round  and  hits  num- 
ber one,  and  he  jumps  over  the  light,  (which  will  look  as  if  he  had 
knocked  him  up  in  the  air — to  help  the  illusion  let  the  old  man  look 
up  after  each  one  has  gone)  then  hits  number  two,  and  he  jumps 
over  the  light,  then  hits  the  first  policeman,  and  he  jumps  over  the 
light,  then  hits  the  second  policeman,  but  he  does  not  move,  at 
which  the  old  gent  looks  astonished,  and  hits  him  again,  but  he  does 
not  move,  at  which  the  old  gent  looks  very  angry,  and  wets  his 
hands  and  prepares  to  hit  the  policeman  harder;  the  policeman  look- 
ing round  sees  this,  and  jumps  over  the  light  of  his  own  will ;  the 
old  gent  swings  the  club  round  with  great  force  and  lets  it  go  out 
of  his  hand  and  over  the  light.  (Some  person  back  of  light  must 
catch  it  to  prevent  the  noise  of  its  falling.)  When  the  old  gent  sees 
the  club  gone  he  is  very  much  astonished,  and  jumps  over  the 
light  with  his  back  to  the  sheet,  and  his  arms  and  legs  extended  to 
their  fullest  extent.  Then  the  young  men,  and  the  policemen,  and 
the  old  gent  jump  forward  alternately  over  the  light,  the  old  gent 
last,  and  all  the  others  pummel  him  vigorously,  and  catch  him  by 
the  collar  and  the  coat-tails  and  lift  him  up  and  throw  him  over  the 
light,  and  then  all  laugh  loudly  and  follow. 


JOCKO;    OK,   THE    MISCHIEVOUS    MONKEY. 
A  COMIC  SHADOW  PANTOMIME. 

Properties  required. — A  working  monkey-mask  for  the  monkey  ; 
a  nicely  dressed  rag  baby,  about  three  months  old  ;  a  cradle,  and 
a  low  rocking  chair  ;  a  bowl  of  sawdust,  and  a  large  spoon  ;  eye- 
glass for  the  traveler,  and  a  whip  and  valise  or  carpet-bag  for  the 
servant  ;  a  morning-gown,  split  up  the  back  in  two  halves,  and 
sewn  loosely  together,  so  that  it  will  pull  apart  easily  again  ;  a  chair 
and  a  table,  with  books,  writing  paper,  bell,  inkstand  with  two 
quill  pens  on  it  ;  a  basket  containing  a  glazed  muslin  table-clothe; 
a  decanter  half  full  of  wine  or  ale  ;  a  plate  with  some  flour  and 
water  mixed  like  thick  paste  or  thin  dough  ;  a  plate  with  a  largo 
slice  of  bread  on  it  ;  a  table-knife  ;  a  large  earthenware  bowl  ;  a 
long  stick  ;  some  short  sticks  ;  brooms,  poker,  shovel,  &c. 

This  comic  pantomime  is  commenced  by  the  monkey  jumping 
over  the  light,  and  performing  several  antics,  such  as  roiling  over, 


18  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

walking  on  all  fours,  scratching  himself  as  monkeys  do,  &c. ;  then 
jumping  back  over  the  light.  Then  the  old  woman  comes  on 
from  the  side,  with  the  baby  in  her  arms,  and  stamps  her  foot  and 
calls,  when  a  negro  servant  enters  with  the  cradle  and  low  rocking 
chair,  and  places  them  for  her  use  on  one  side  near  curtain,  and  goes 
off,  and  brings  on  a  bowl  of  sawdust  and  a  large  spoon,  and 
gives  them  to  the  old  woman,  and  then  he  goes  off,  and  the  mon- 
key comes  on  and  jumps  on  the  back  of  the  old  woman's  chair,  and  * 
watches  her  feeding  the  baby  with  the  spoon  from  the  bowl. 
When  she  has  given  the  child  two  or  three  spoonfuls  she  motions 
it  is  sleeping,  and  carefully  puts  it  in  the  cradle  and  rocks  it  to  sleep, 
and  then  goes  off  at  the  side.  The  monkey  hides  himself  when  she 
gets  up,  and  when  she  goes  off  he  comes  out  and  rocks  the  cradle, 
and  tastes  the  sawdust,  but  does  not  like  it  :  then  takes  the  baby 
out  of  the  cradle,  and  sits  in  the  chair  with  it,  and  it  is  supposed  to 
wake  up  arid  cry  very  loudly.  (Some  one  at  back  must  imitate  as 
near  as  possible  the  child's  crying.)  The  monkey  feeds  it  with  the 
spoon,  then  puts  the  bowl  of  sawdust  over  its  head  and  stops  its 
crying  ;  then  throws  the  bowl  and  spoon  off,  and  rocks  the  baby  in 
his  arms  in  the  rocking  chair,  and  finally  falls  over  backwards  with 
the  chair  and  the  baby  also,  and  gets  up  and  throws  the  chair  and 
cradle  off  at  the  side  ;  then  the  baby  cries,  and  he  picks  it  up,  and 
rolls  it  on  the  floor,  jumps  over  it,  pushes  it  with  his  foot,  scratches 
its  head,  and  throws  it  up  and  catches  it.  It  is  crying  all  the  time  ; 
he  knocks  its  head  on  the  floor,  and  tries  to  stop  its  crying,  but  can- 
not ;  and  swings  it  round  and  round,  and  finally  throws  it  over 
the  light,  and  then  jumps  over  after  it.  The  old  woman  enters  from 
the  side,  and  looks  round  as  if  in  search  of  the  child,  but  cannot 
see  it  ;  throws  her  arms  up  wildly,  and  screams,  and  then  jumps 
over  the  light.  Then  the  negro  servant  enters,  looks  up  and  laughs 
at  her,  motions  she  has  gone  up,  and  he  jumps  over  the  light. 
Then  the  monkey  returns,  jumping  over  the  light,  and  frolics  about, 
and  finally  runs  off.  Then  a  traveler  jumps  over  the  light  and  looks 
around  with  his  eye-glass,  and  then  claps  his  hands  as  if  calling, 
when  servant  jumps  over  the  light  with  the  whip  and  the  valise, 
and  follows  behind  the  traveler,  who  walks  across  and  across,  near 
curtain,  and  turns  rather  suddenly  and  knocks  against  the  servant, 
and  gives  him  a  good  smart  slap  in  the  face,  then  tells  him  to  go 
to  the  house  and  knock  at  the  door.  Servant  goes  to  side  and  strikes 
as  if  he  was  hitting  the  door,  and  old  man  entering  at  this  moment, 
gets  the  third  knock  on  his  head  ;  the  servant  runs  back  and  his 
master  kicks  him,  and  pushes  him  away  ;  then  old  man  and  the 
traveler  go  to  embrace,  when  the  servant  gets  in  between  them  by 
accident,  and  they  both  embrace  him,  then  see  their  mistakes,  and 
both  seize  him  and  throw  him  over  the  light  ;  then  the  traveler 
motions  to  the  old  man  that  he  has  come  to  marry  his  daughter. 
The  old  man  is  pleased  and  rubs  his  hands,  and  motions  it  is  all 
right,  and  asks  in  pantomime  if  traveler  has  plenty  of  money.  He 
motions  that  he  has  lots  of  it,  and  will  give  it  to  him  for  his  daugh- 
ter. Old  man  motions  all  right  ;  he  will  go  and  fetch  his  daugft- 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  19 

ter,  and  introduce  her  to  him,  and  he  goes  off.  The  traveler 
looks  pleased,  and  adjusts  his  cravat,  &c.»  Old  man  enters  with 
his  daughter,  and  motions  to  her  that  she  must  marry  the  man 
who  has  plenty  of  money  to  give  her.  She  bows  to  him,  and  tra- 
veler bows  to  her  very  low  ;  while  doing  so,  the  monkey  runs  in, 
and  pushes  traveler  with  his  foot,  and  runs  off.  The  traveler  falls 
forward  on  his  face.  Old  man  helps  him  up,  and  puts  his  daugh- 
ter's hand  in  that  of  the  traveler,  and  blesses  them,  and  invites 
them  into  the  house  to  eat.  They  consent,  and  traveler  leads 
girl  by  the  hand,  and  they  follow  the  old  man  off  at  side.  Ser- 
vant jumps  on  over  light,  and  motions  how  they  threw  him  up 
in  the  sky,  and  that  he  has  only  just  come  down.  When  he  is 
explaining  the  monkey  comes  on  and  bites  his  leg  ;  the  servant 
tries  to  kick  him,  but  the  monkey  runs  off  and  avoids  it.  The 
old  man  now  enters,  and  is  expressing  his  pleasure  at  the  engage- 
ment he  has  made  for  his  daughter.  When  the  servant  sees  him 
he  thinks  it  was  the  old  man  who  bit  his  leg,  and  slaps  him  in 
the  face,  and  as  the  old  man  turns  the  servant  kicks  him  off  at 
the  side.  The  servant  feels  very  proud  of  this,  and  strutting  about, 
stands  in  center  with  his  legs  wide  open,  when  the  monkey  runs 
through  them,  and  upsets  the  servant,  who  gets  up  and  panto- 
mimes that  something  ran  through  his  legs  and  knocked  him 
down.  Folds  his  arms  and  stands  wondering  what  it  was,  when 
monkey  runs  by  his  legs  and  knocks  him  down  again.  He  sits 
up,  folds  his  arms  and  shakes  his  head,  as  if  in  determination  not 
to  rise  up  and  be  knocked  down  again,  when  his  master  enters, 
and  seeing  him  on  the  ground,  looks  at  him  and  asks  in  action, 
what  he  is  doing  there.  The  servant,  in  astonishment,  gets  up 
and  accuses  the  master  of  running  through  his  legs  and  knocking 
him  down.  The  master  shakes  his  head  and  denies  the  imputa- 
tion, and  tells  the  servant  to  go  and  get  his  loose  morning-gown 
for  him.  The  servant  is  going  away  to  get  it,  when  the  monkey 
enters  quickly  and  pulls  him  back  by  the  coat-tails,  until  he  knocks 
backwards  up  against  the  master,  who  turns  and  gives  him  a  kick, 
and  very  angrily  motions  him  to  go  for  the  dressing-gown.  The 
servant  in  pain  goes  off,  and  the  master  motions  that  the  servant's 
brains  are  flighty,  and  he  is  very  foolish,  then  claps  his  hands  as  if 
calling  servant,  who  slowly  enters  with  the  dressing-gown,  and 
holds  it  out — and  th£  master  puts  his  arm  carefully  in  one  sleeve, 
and  as  he  is  about  to  put  his  arm  in  the  other  sleeve  the  monkey 
enters  and  pulls  the  servant  back  by  the  coat-tails  and  he  falls  in 
the  center  on  the  floor,  and  as  he  was  holding  on  the  gown  it  has 
split  up  the  back,  and  he  has  half  of  it  in  his  hands,  and  the  other 
half  is  on  the  master's  shoulders,  and  he  is  feeling  with  his  arm  for 
the  other  sleeve;  the  servant  sees  him  and  laughs  at  him,  and  gets  up 
and  goes  and  puts  the  other  sleeve  on  the  master's  arm,  as  he  is  reach- 
ing for  it,  and  pins  it  together  at  the  back.  The  master  walks  away 
to  the  other  side,  and  the  servant  laughs  at  him  ;  the  master  hears 
him,  and  turns  and  looks  at  him  angrily  ;  the  servant  looks  very 
innocently,  and  motions,  asking  what  his  master  requires  ;  the  mas- 


22  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

throws  it  off,  and  jumps  on  table,  and  throws  plates  and  knives  off, 
and  then  places  his  feet  on  each  side  of  the  neck  of  the  bottle,  and 
stands  on  the  part  of  it  that  swells  out,  and  gets  up  into  a  straight 
balance,  and  then  stoops  down  and  gets  the  bowl,  and  drinks  out  of 
it  until  it  is  empty,  and  then  jumps  off  the  bottle  on  to  the  table. 
(A  few  hours  practice  will  accomplish  this  feat  very  easily,  with  per- 
severance as  your  motto.)  Then  the  monkey  puts  the  bowl  on  his 
head,  like  a  hat,  and  takos  up  the  bottle  to  drink,  and  leaning  his 
head  back,  the  bowl  falls  off  his  head  and  breaks,  and  he  turns 
quickly  round  and  looks  on  the  floor  at  the  damage  he  has  done  ; 
then  the  servant  comes  in  with  a  long  stick  and  strikes  at  the  mon- 
key as  he  is  on  the  table,  but  the  monkey  jumps  off  and  eludes  him, 
and  dodges  the  blows  from  the  stick  several  times,  and  finally  seizes 
the  stick  from  the  servant  and  beats  him  most  unmercifully  until  he 
runs  off.  Then  the  monkey  pushes  the  table,  chair  and  other  things 
off,  to  give  a  clear  field,  and  waves  his  stick  about.  When  the  mon- 
key has  his  back  turned,  the  servant  enters  with  a  short  stick,  and 
calling  on  the  others,  who  enter,  they  advance  on  the  monkey  to 
beat  him,  when  he  turns  round  suddenly  and  belabors  them  all,  as 
they  run  around  to  avoid  the  blows,  some  jumping  backwards  and 
forwards  over  the  light  as  they  get  struck,  and  some  falling  down, 
and  all  getting  a  very  severe  beating  from  the  monkey's  in- 
discriminate blows.  In  the  height  of  the  melee,  when  the  laughter 
is  the  loudest,  suddenly  shut  out  the  light  at  back,  and  turn  up  the 
lights  in  the  audience  part  of  the  room.  This  will  have  the  effect  as 
of  a  sudden  falling  of  the  curtain  on  a  laughable  tableau. 

NOTE. — The  long  stick  mentioned  can  be  made  of  five  or  six  canes 
or  rattans  tied  together,  and  about  six  feet  long.  This,  when  strik- 
ing on  a  person,  will  make  a  loud  noise,  but  will  not  hurt.  The  per- 
son playing  the  monkey  can  wear  almost  any  tight-fitting  dress,  and 
a  monkey -mask  with  amoveable  jaw,  which  can  be  purchased  by  ad- 
dressing the  publisher,  0.  A.  Roorbach,  102  Nassau  St.,  New  York,  or 
the  costumes,  properties,  &c.,  can  be  procured  of  Tony  Denier,  who 
personally  superintends  the  production  of  all  styles  of  parlor  and 
school  entertainments,  or  out-door  f<§tes,  and  furnishes,  if  required, 
all  the  necessary  concomitants  to  render  them  complete.  See  Tony 
Denier 's  book  on  Tableau  Vivants  for  the  Parlor,  which  can  be  had 
by  addressing  the  publisher. 


THE  MADCAP   BAKBEB  ;    OR,  THE  UNFORTUNATE  VICTIM. 
' '  INTREMEBE  COMIQUE  . ' ' 

Accessories  needed. — A  barber's  pole,  cut  out  of  stiff  pasteboard,  a 
sign,  with  the  letters  cut  out  to  read,  Frizzle,  Barber,  to  be  made  out 
of  Btiff  pasteboard,  a  newspaper,  a  large  bell  to  ring,  some  carpet- 
bags and  satchels,  valises,  coats,  shawls  and  bundles  for  travelers,  a 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 


23 


bandbox,  a  satchel  with  crockery  ware  in  it  to  break,  a  chair  ready 
back  of  light,  a  long  cloth  such  as  barbers  use  when  cutting  hair,  a 
large  bowl  of  thick  lather,  and  a  large  brush,  a  large  wood- 
en razor,  a  leather  strap  about  three  inches  wide  arid  a  yard 
long,  with  a  strong  cord  loop  on  one  end,  to  go  over  a  man's 
head. 

The  round  circle  is  used  the  same  as  in  the  amputation 
extraordinary,  with  the  barber  pole  fastened  on  one  side 
[See  Fig.  14]  and  sign  on  the  other  side,  [See  Fig.  15]  and 
is  commenced  by  the  barber  (in  a  comical  dress  and  apron, 
and  a  wig,  with  the  hair  standing  up  very  straight)  jump- 


R\ll  \_L 

BARBER. 


Fig.  15. 

ing  over  the  light  and  exclaiming,  "Well,  here  I  am,  the 
great  barber  extraordinary  to  tho  man  in  the  moon  ;  I've 
shaved  his  royal  highness  for  the  fortieth  time  to-day,  and 
now  have  nothing  to  do,  and  I  am  so  anxious  for  another  job, 
to  try  as  an  experiment  my  new  patent  double-edged  razor, 
that  cuts  both  ways  at  once,  and  shaves  you  before  you 
ffy-  have  hardly  sat  down  in  the  chair  ;  I  only  wish  that  some 
verdant  visitor  would  only  arrive  here,  that  I  might  test  the  pow- 
ers of  my  new  invention.  It's  astonishing  that  we  have  no 
more  visitors  in  this  lunary  sphere  of  ours — by  ours,  I  mean 
the  man  in  the  moon  and  myself ;  in  these  days  of  telegraphs 
under  the  sea,  and  railroads  under  the  earth,  it  astonishes  me 
that  no  one  builds  a  railroad  in  the  air.  It's  a  well-known  fact 
that  the  moon  is  inhabited,  and  why  don't  some  enterprising  Yankee 
come  here  and  start  business,  or  why  don't  the  Government  buy  us 
out,  now  they're  in  that  business — by-the-bye,  the  last  sublunary 
Tribune  that  I  captured  off  the  tail  of  a  little  boy's  kite,  as  it  flew  up 
near  the  moon,  informed  me  that  an  aerial  railroad  was  to  be  built 
to  the  moon,  and  was  to  be  finished  on  the  fourth  of  July,  1968— 
that  is  this  very  year,  and  this  the  very  day;  I'll  read  the  paper  and 
see  if  I  am  correct."  Goes  and  gets  the  newspaper,  says,  "Oh,  here 
it  is,"  and  reads  :  "  Shares  in  the  great  serial  railroad  for  sale  ;  price 
twenty-five  dollars  each  share,  and  no  greenbacks  taken.  This  road 
will  be  completed  to  the  moon,  July  fourth,  1968,  and  will  open  up 
a  large  field  to  the  industrious  young  men  of  both  sexes,  and  offer- 
ing extra  inducements  to  the  pleasure-seeking  traveler,  and  new  ex- 
plorations for  the  adventure-seeker.  Fare  as  low  as  by  any  other 
route.  N.  B.  Beware  of  bogus  balloon  swindles.  "That's  it,  and  hark, 


24  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

in  the  far-away  distance  I  think  I  hear  the  hell  of  some  snorting  en- 
gine on  its  way  hither  ;  yes,  that's  it,  (some  one  outside  rings  bell 
and  imita-tes  cars)  and  by  the  shouts,  loaded  with  passengers.  Now, 
Frizzle,  my  hoy,  keep  a  sharp  look  out,  and  your  fortune's  made." 
A  hell  rings  in  the  distance,  in  imitation  of  the  arrival  of  a  train  of 
cars,  with  shouts  of  hackmen,  porters,  &c.,  when  passengers  enter 
and  cross  from  side  to  side  with  bags,  baggage,  &c.;  he  importunes 
each  one  to  get  shaved,  but  they  all  refuse,  and  go  off  at  other  side, 
when  a  tall  country  Yankee,  in  the  well-known  costume  of  bell- 
crowned  hat,  long-tailed  coat,  short-legged  pantaloons,  with  straps, 
a  frilled  shirt  and  standing  collar,  large  necktie,  a  full  curly  wig, 
and  a  tight  cap  underneath,  to  look  like  a  bald  head  ;  he  carries  a 
bandbox  and  a  satchel  when  he  enters,  and  as  barber  is  walking 
across  in  despair,  at  not  getting  any  customers,  he  and  the  Yankee 
knock  together  in  center,  and  both  fall,  when  Yankee  exclaims, 
' '  Confound  your  picter  ;  is  this  the  first  salute  I  get  for  all  my 
trouble  in  coming  to  your  outlandish  country  ?  Say,  (he  gets  up) 
what  do  you  mean  ;  if  it's  fighting  you  want,  get  up  again  and  I'll 
knock  you  down  quick' rn  greased  lightning  ?  "  The  barber  shakes 
his  head,  and  in  action  apologizes,  when  the  Yankee  says,  "Well,  as 
you  apologize,  I'm  satisfied  ;  so  get  up  here,  and  let's  be  friends, 
for  it's  not  my  country  fashion  when  a  man's  down  to  keep  him 
down,  but  try  and  help  him  up,  so  give  us  your  fin  and  let's  have  a 
confabulation."  Takes  barber's  hand,  and  pulls  him  up,  and  says, 
"I  say,  lookee  here  ;  is  this  the  moon  I've  hear'n  tell  of?"  Barber 
says,  "Yes,  sir;  this  is  the  only  original  moon."  Yankee  says, 
"  Well,  then  I  suppose  I'm  all  right ;  I  bought  a  through  ticket  on 
the  new  serial  railroad,  and  am  right  glad  I  am  here  at  last,  as  I 
came  here  with  the  intention  to  civilize  you  lunartics,  and  if  I  like 
your  country,  why  I'll  buy  you  out,  bag  and  baggage.  Now  tell  us 
who  you  are,  and  how  we  can  trade  jack-knives  together."  The 
barber  says,  "I  am  the  great  Frizzle,  seventh  son  of  a  seventh  son, 
and  barber  extraordinary  to  his  sei^ne  highness,  the  man  in  the 
moon,  whom  I  shave  forty  times  every  day,  and  still — like  Alex- 
ander— I  sigh  for  more  beards  to  mow  off.  I  am  the  only  inventor 
of  a*  new  patent  hair  rejuvenator,  also  the  world-astonishing  two- 
edged  razor,  that  will  shave  a  man  on  both  sides  of  his  face  at  once, 
and  comb  his  hair  and  brush  his  whiskers  at  the  same  time,  by  an 
ingenious  contrivance  in  the  handle  ;  and  if  you  should  require  any- 
thing of  the  kind  done,  I  shall  be  pleased  and  happy  to  show  you 
my  new  invention,  and  put  to  practical  test  its  wonderful  powers  on 
your  handsome  face."  Yankee  says,  "  Say,  old  Frizzle,  if  your 
razor  comes  anywhere  near  your  double-action  tongue,  I'd  like  to 
see  it,  and  give  you  a  job,  as  I  like  to  encourage  native  talent  in 
every  way.  So  here,  take  my  valise."  The  barber  takes  it,  and 
throws  it  off  at  one  side,  and  as  it  is  filled  with  broken  crockery  ware 
it  makes  a  great  noise  as  it  falls.  Yankee  says,  "Lookee  here,  bar- 
ber ;  caa't  you  manage  to  be  a  little  more  careless  ?  that  valise  has 
got  a  magnificent  set  of  china  ornaments  that  I  bought  as  a  present 
for  my  Mehitable  Ann,  and  I  don't  want  'em  broke."  Barber  mo- 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  25 

£> 

tions  it  is  all  right,  and  jumps  over  the  light.  Yankee  looks  tip 
after  him  and  says,  "  Well,  jewillikins,  this  is  the  strangest  country 
I've  ever  heen  in  ;  I  wonder  where  he  has  gone  to  ?  T  guess  he  must 
have  gone  in  the  attic  room."  Then  he  looks  up  and  calls  out,  "Hi, 
barber  !  "  The  barber  at  back  of  light  says,  "All,  right,  sir,  he  down 
in  one  minute."  The  Yankee  laughs  heartily,  and  barber  jumps  over 
the  light  in  front  of  the  Yankee,  who  is  very  much  astonished  at  his 
sudden  appearance.  Barber  bows,  and  motions  Yankee  to  sit  in  the 
chair,  and  as  he  goes  to  sit  in  it,  barber  picks  up  the  bandbox,  and 
puts  it  on  the  seat  of  the  chair,  and  Yankee  sits  down  on  it  and 
crushjis  it,  then  jumps  up  and  shows  the  bandbox  all  crushed,  and 
says  to  the  barber,  "  There's  another  ten  dollar  hat  gone  to  thun- 
der ;  by  Jingo,  I  won't  stand  this."  Uarber  says,  "  Well,  sit  down, 
then."  and  seizes  him  ami  pushes  him  down  in  the  chair  ;  then  takes 
the  bandbox  and  throws  it  over  the  light,  and  jumps  over  after  it.* 
The  Yankee,  bewildered  and  in  astonishment,  says,  "  Well,  they  do 
say  that  when  you're  in  Rome  you  must  do  as  the  Romans  do,  so  I 
suppose  now  I've  got  to  the  moon,  I  must  do  as  the  mooneys  do,  so 
I'll  resign  myself  to  my  fate,  and  then  take  the  first  train  back  to 
Pumpkinville,  marry  Mehitable  Ann,  and  settle  down  to  a  quiet  life, 
and  never  more  go  roaming.  Barber  now  jumps  over  the  light  with 
a  long  cloth  which  he  shakes  in  the  Yankee's  face,  who  waves  his 
hands  about  to  keep  it  from  his  eyes,  and  calls  out,  "  Look  here  ; 
flip  that  there  rag  of  your'n  some  other  way,  will  you  ?"  Barber 
then  takes  cloth,  and  putting  it  in  front  of  him,  ties  the  ends  at  the 
back  of  his  neck,  and  pulls  them  very  tight.  When  the  Yankee 
struggles  with  his  hands  and  feet  moving,  and  calls  out,  "Oh  !  oh  ! 
you're  choking  me."  The  barber  laughs  at  him  and  pushes  him  down, 
in  the  chair  again,  and  then  jumps  over  the  light.  The  Yankee  looks 
after  him  in  astonishment,  and  the  barber  immediately  jumps  over 
the  light  with  a  large  bowl  of  lather  and  a  very  large  brush,  a  large 
wooden  razor,  [See  Fig.  16]  a  wide  strap  about  a  yard  long,  with  a 


Fig  16. 

strong  cord  loop  at  one  end,  to  go  over  a  man's  head.  He  puts  the 
things  down  on  the  floor,  and  the  Yankee  looks  at  them,  wondering 
what  he  is  going  to  do  with  them,  when  the  barber  says,  "  Ah,  now, 
illustiious  stranger,  I'll  show  you  how  we  manipulate  our  customers 
when  performing  the  grand  and  sublime  art  tonsorial."  Yankee 
says,  "Lookee  here,  you,  I  don't  want  none  of  your  foreign  fandan- 
goes ;  I  only  want  shaving.  Barber  says,  "  All  right,  my  worthy 


26  SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 

sir  ;  I  will  just  sharpen  my  wonderful  razor,  and  then  you  shall  seo 
what  yon  shall  see— your  face  cleanly  shaved,  your  teeth  cleaned, 
and  your  hiir  nie<:!y  shampooed,  in  the  short  space  of  the  Winking 
of  an  elephant's  eyelid.  So  just  put  this  over  your  head."  He  puts 
the  loop  of  strap  over  his  head,  and  says,  "  This,  you  see,  is  my  new 
invention— the  flexible  razor- strop.  You  will  admire  its  action  as 
soon  as  you  see  it  used  ;  and  this  is  my  wonderful  razor."  He  takes 
up  the  large  razor,  and  shows  it  to  the  Yankee,  who  starts  up,  as  he 
deliberately  opens  it,  and  exclaims,  "  Here  !  I  donjt  want  shaving 
Avith  that  murderous  weapon.  Why,  if  your  hand  should  slip,  you 
would  cut  my  head  off  my  shoulders.  I  tell  you  I  don't  want-to  be 
shaved— I  want  to  go  home  !"  Barber  pushes  him  down  in  the 
chair,  and  then  seizes  one  end  of  strap,  and  commences  to  rub  the 
blade  of  the  razor  backwards  and  forwards,  near  to  Yankee's  face, 
find  finally  hits  Yankee  in  face  with  the  razor,  and  he  falls  over 
backwards,  with  the  chair,  on  to  the  floor,  exclaiming,  "  Oh,  I'm 
cut.  Oh,  dear  ;  oh.  dear."  The  barber  drops  razor,  and  puts  the 
chair  up  again,  and  seizes  Yankee  at  back  under  his  arms  and  jumps 
him  over  the  back  of  chair,  into  seat  of  chair  again,  and  then  gets 
the  bowl  of  lather,  and  stirs  it  up,  and  shows  the  large  brush.  The 
Yankee  looks  at  it  in  astonishment,  with  his  mouth  wide  open, 
when  the  barber  puts  the  brush  in  his  face,  and  he  gets  the  lathe'r  in 
his  mouth  anil  coughs  and  splutters  over  it  very  much,  when  a  lady 
enters  from  opposite  side  and  taps  the  barber  on  his  shoulder  at 
back,  as  if  going  to  ask  him  a  question,  when  the  barber  suddenly 
turns  and  dabs  the  brush  in  her  face,  and  she  screams  and  runs  off. 
The  barber  laughs  and  imitates  her  screaming.  The  Yankee  sees  it 
and  laughs  very  hearty,  and  as  he  is  laughing  the  barber  dabs  the 
brush  in  his  face  again,  and  lathers  him  all  over  his  face  and  head, 
when  a  lame  man  with  a  large  hump  on  his  back,  and  stooping  very 
much,  comes  in  to  get  shaved.  He  goes  to  barber  and  taps  him  on 
the  shoulder,  and  the  barber  turns  and  dabs -brush  in  his  face,  and 
as  he  turns  to  go  off  dabs  the  brush  on  him  several  times  until  he 
runs  off,  thgn  barber  laughs  and  finishes  lathering  the  Yankee,  and 
puts  the  bowl  and  brush  off,  and  then  with  the  large  razor  com- 
mences to  shave  him,  and  scrapes  the  lather  off  his  face  with  the 
razor,  and  wipes  the  razor  on  the  knees  of  the  Yankee's  pantaloon's, 
•which  the  Yankee  sees,  and  call  out :  "  Here  !  what  are  you  doing  ? 
Do  you  know  you'll  spile  my  best  Sunday  go-to-meeting  pants? 
Just  you  wipe  your  darned  stuff  on  some  other  pla.ce,  will  yer  ?" 
The  barber  laughs,  and  then  seizes  him  again  and  goes  on  scraping 
off  the  lather,  and  as  Yankee  puts  up  his  foot,  the  barber  is  looking 
for  some  place  to  wipe  his  razor,  and  seeing  th'^  Yankee's  foot  up 
he  wipes  the  razor  on  the  sole  of  his  boot  The  Yankee  all  the 
time  he  is  getting  this  rough  treatment  is  trying  to  get  up,  but  the 
barber  pushes  him  down  each  time  into  the  chair,  and  goe.s  on  with 
the  action  of  shaving  him  and  flourishing  the  razor  about,  which 
still  frightens  the  Yankee  very  much.  The  barber  then  dances 
around  and  shaves  him  very  rapidly,  and  finally  jumps  up,  standing 
on  the  Yankee' s  knees,  and,  in  numerous  grotesque  positions,  goes  on 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES.  27 

with  the  shaving  ;  then  gets  off,  and  while  doing  so,  he  seizes  the 
Yankee's  wig  and  pulls  it  off  and  holds  it  up  in  triumph,  leaving 
the  Yankee  with  a  bald  head,  who  immediately  claps  his  hands  to 
his  head,  is  astonished  when  he  feels  he  has  no  hair  on,  and  threatens 
and  pursues  the  barber,  who,  to  avoid  him,  jumps  over  the  light, 
and  the  Yankee  follows. 

N.  B.— If  it  is  required  to  perform  two  or  three  of  these  pieces 
in  order  to  constitute  a  full  evening's  entertainment,  it  will  be  well 
immediately  one  is  finished,  to  place  something  in  front  of  the 
light  to  keep  it  from  shining  on  the  sheet,  and  during  this  clear  away 
the  properties,  &c.,  used  in  the  last  piece,  and  place  those  needed 
in  the  following  one  in  their  places  ready  for  use  ;  then  remove  the 
shade  from  the  front  of  the  light,  and  let  some  one  in  a  loud  clear 
voice  announce  the  name  of  the  next  performance,  so  that  all  may 
hear  it,  and  their  attention  drawn  to  the  performance. 


CRIBBAGE  ;    OR,  THE  DEVIL  AMONG  THE  CARDS. 

The  articles  called  for  in  this  amusing  sketch  are  :  A  small  light 
round  table,  two  chairs,  a  false  nose  for  the  landlord,  an  apron  and  a 
large  watch  and  chain,  a  table-cloth,  two  tin  plates,  knives  and 
forks,  two  tin  cups,  a  mug  of  beer,  a  tin  dish  with  an  imitation  leg 
of  mutton  on  it,  a  loaf  of  bread,  &c.,  a  whip  for  first  traveler,  a 
door  knocker  fixed  at  back  of  light,  for  travelers  to  use  before 
entering,  a  pack  of  cards  about  a  foot  long  and  seven  inches  wide, 
with  all  the  cards  that  are  mentioned  in  the  game  cut  out  so  that 
the  characters  will  show  on  the  curtain  when  they  are  held  up 
between  the  light,  a  demon  mask  with  horns  for  the  youth  per- 
forming the  character,  and  a  large  inflated  bladder  tied  on  to  a  short 
stick. 

At  the  commencement,  and  as  soon  as' the  light  is  thrown  on  the 
sheet,  the  landlord,  a  very  stout  man  with  a  large  false  nose,  and 
dressed  like  an  English  landlord  of  a  country  inn,  in  his  shirt 
sleeves  and  with  an  apron  on,  jumps  over  the  light  and  stretches 
himself  and  yawns  very  loud,  and  says  :  "  Bless  me,  I  declare  I've 
been  to  sleep  ;  I  wonder  what  time  it  is  ?"  and  he  pulls  out  a  large 
watch,  looks  at  it,  and  holds  it  up  to  his  ear,  then  looks  at  it  in  great 
astonishment,  and  says,  "  Nearly  ton  o'clock,  by  jingo,  and  not  a 
customer  from  the  road  this  blessed  evening  ;"  puts  his  watch  in 
his  pocket,  and  looks  up,  and  calls  out :  "  John,  why  haven't  you 
lit  the  lamps  on  the  road  this  evening?  I  declare  that  fellow  has 
so  little  to  do  that  it  makes  him  lazy  to  think  about  it.  You  John  ! 
light  up  that  gas  directly,  and  then  look  sharp  and  brighten  things 
up  a  bit,  and  if  there's  no  more  customers  to  th«  Black  Bull  in  less 
than  an  hour,  we'll  close  up  the  hotel  and  go  bed.  John,  on  the 
outside,  says,  lazily,  "All  right,  sir.  I  be  very  tired."  Landlord 
says,  "Now  did  you  ever  hear  of  such  a  thing  ?  he  says  he's  very 


26  SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 

sir  ;  I  will  just  sharpen  my  wonderful  razor,  and  then  you  shall  see 
what  you  shall  see— your  face  cleanly  shaved,    your  teeth   cleaned, 
and  your  htir  uio-jly  shampooed,  in  the  short  space  of  the  winking 
of  an  elephant's  eyelid.    So  just  put  this  over  your  head."    He  puts 
the  loop  of  strap  over  his  head,  and  says,  "  This,  yon  see,  is  my  new 
invention— the  flexible  razor  strop.     You  will  admire  its  action  as 
soon  as  you  see  it  used  ;  and  this  is  my  wonderful  razor."    He  takes 
up  the  large  razor,  and  shows  it  to  the  Yankee,  who  starts  up,  as  he 
deliberately  opens  it,  and  exclaims,  "  Here  !  I  donjt  want  shaving 
with  that  murderous  weapon.     Why,  if  your  hand  should  slip,  you 
would  cut  my  head  off  my  shoulders.     I  tell  you  I  don't  wanfcito  be 
shaved—  I  want  to  go  home  !"     Barber  pushes  him   down   in  the 
chair,  and  then  seizes  one  end  of  strap,  and  commences  to  rub  the 
blade  of  the  razor  backwards  and  forwards,  near  to  Yankee's  face, 
%nd  finally  hits  Yankee  in  face  with  the  razor,  and  he  falls  over 
backwards,    with  the  chair,  on  to  the  floor,  exclaiming,  "Oh,  I'm 
cut.     Oh,  dear  ;  oh,  dear."     The  barber  drops  razor,  and  puts  the 
chair  up  again,  and  seizes  Yankee  at  back  under  his  arms  and  jumps 
him  over  the  back  of  chair,  into  seat  of  chair  again,  and  then  gets 
the  bowl  of  lather,  and  stirs  it  up,  and  shows  the  large  brush.     The 
Yankee  looks  at  it  in  astonishment,  with  his   mouth   wide  open, 
when  the  barber  puts  the  brush  in  his  face,  and  he  gets  the  lather  in 
his  mouth  an  1  coughs  and  splutters  over  it  very  much,  when  a  lady 
enters  from  opposite   side  and   taps  the   barber  on    his  shoulder  at 
back,  as  if  going  to  ask  him  a  question,  when   the  barber  suddenly 
turns  and  dabs  the  brush  in  her  face,  and  she  screams  and  runs  off. 
The  barber  laughs  and  imitates  her  screaming.     The  Yankee  sees  it 
and  laughs  wry  hearty,  and  as   he  is  laughing  the   barber  dabs  the 
brush  in  his  face  again,  and   lathers  him  all  over  his  face  and  head, 
when  a  lame  man  with  a  large  hump  on  his  back,  and  stooping  very 
much,  comes  in  to  get  shaved.     He  goes  to  barber  and  taps  him  on 
the  shoulder,  and  the  barber  turns  and  dabs ''brush  in  his  face,  and 
as  he  turns  to  go  off  dabs  the  brush  on  him  several  times  until  he 
runs  off,  jthgn  barber  laughs  and  finishes  lathering  the  Yankee,  and 
puts  the  bowl  and  brush  off,  and  then  with  the  large  razor  com- 
mences to  shave  him,  and  scrapes  the  lather  off  his  face  with  the 
razor,  and  wipes  the  razor  on  the  knees  of  the  Yankee's  pantaloon's, 
which  the  Yankee  sees,  and  call  out :    "  Here  !  what  are  you  doing  ? 
Do  you  know  you'll  spile  my  best  Sunday   go-to-meeting  pants? 
Just  you  wipe  your  darned  stuff  on  some  other  pla.ce,   will  yer  ?" 
The  barber  laughs,  and  then  seizes  him  again  and  goes  on  scraping 
off  the  lather,  and  as  Yankee  purs  up  Ins  foot,  the  barber  is  looking 
for  some  place  to  wipe  bis  razor,  and  seeing  the  Yankee's  foot  up 
he  wipes  the  razor  on  the  sole  of  his  boot      The  Yahkee  all  the 
time  he  is  getting  this  rough  treatment  is  trying  to  get  up,  but  the 
barber  pushes  him  down  each  time  into  the  chair,  and  goes  on  with 
the  action  of  shaving  him   and  flourishing  the  razor  about,  which 
still   frightens   the  Yankee  very  much.     The   barber   then    dances 
around  and  shaves  him  very  rapidly,  and  finally  jumps  up,  standing 
on  the  Yankee's  knees,  and,  in  numerous  grotesque  positions,  goes  on 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES.  27 

with  the  shaving  ;  then  gets  off,  and  while  doing  so,  lie  seizes  the 
Yankee's  wig  and  pulls  it  off  and  holds  it  up  in  triumph,  leaving 
the  Yankee  with  a  bald  head,  who  immediately  claps  his  hands  to 
his  head,  is  astonished  when  he  feels  he  has  no  hair  on,  and  threatens 
and  pursues  the  harber,  who,  to  avoid  him,  jumps  over  the  light, 
and  the  Yankee  follows. 

N.  B. — If  it  is  required  to  perform  two  or  three  of  these  pieces 
in  order  to  constitute  a  full  evening's  entertainment,  it  will  be  well 
immediately  one  is  finished,  to  place  something  in  front  of  the 
light  to  keep  it  from  shining  on  the  sheet,  and  during  this  clear  away 
the  properties,  &c.,  used  in  the  last  piece,  and  place  those  needed 
in  the  following  one  in  their  places  ready  for  use  ;  then  remove  the 
shade  from  the  front  of  the  light,  and  let  some  one  in  a  loud  clear 
voice  announce  the  name  of  the  next  performance,  so  that  all  may 
hear  it,  and  their  attention  drawn  to  the  performance. 


CRIBBAGE  ;    OR,  THE  DEVIL  AMONG  THE  CARDS. 

The  articles  called  for  in  this  amusing  sketch  are  :  A  small  light 
round  table,  two  chairs,  a  false  nose  for  the  landlord,  an  apron  and  a 
large  watch  and  chain,  a  table-cloth,  two  tin  plates,  knives  and 
forks,  two  tin  cups,  a  mug  of  beer,  a  tin  dish  with  an  imitation  leg 
of  mutton  on  it,  a  loaf  of  bread,  &c. ,  a  whip  for  first  traveler,  a 
door  knocker  fixed  at  back  of  light,  for  travelers  to  use  before 
entering,  a  pack  of  cards  about  a  foot  long  and  seven  inches  wide, 
with  all  the  cards  that  are  mentioned  in  the  game  cut  out  so  that 
the  characters  will  show  on  the  curtain  when  they  are  held  up 
between  the  light,  a  demon  mask  with  horns  for  the  youth  per- 
forming the  character,  and  a  large  inflated  bladder  tied  on  to  a  short 
stick. 

At  the  commencement,  and  as  soon  as  the  light  is  thrown  on  the 
sheet,  the  landlord,  a  very  stout  man  with  a  large  false  nose,  and 
dressed  like  an  English  landlord  of  a  country  inn,  in  his  shirt 
sleeves  and  with  an  apron  on,  jumps  over  the  light  and  stretches 
himself  and  yawns  very  loud,  and  says  :  "  Bless  me,  I  declare  I've 
been  to  sleep  ;  I  wonder  what  time  it  is  ?"  and  he  pulls  out  a  large 
watch,  looks  at  it,  and  holds  it  up  to  his  ear,  then  looks  at  it  in  great 
astonishment,  and  says,  "  Nearly  ten  o'clock,  by  jingo,  and  nut  a 
customer  from,  the  road  this  blessed  evening  ;"  puts  his  watch  in 
his  pocket,  and  looks  up,  and  calls  out :  "  John,  why  haven't  you 
lit  the  lamps  on  the  road  this  evening?  I  declare  that  fellow  has 
so  little  to  do  that  it  makes  him  lazy  to  think  about  it.  You  John  ! 
light  up  that  gas  directly,  and  then  look  sharp  and  brighten  things 
up  a  bit,  and  if  there's  no  more  customers  to  the  Black  Bull  in  less 
than  an  hour,  we'll  close  up  the  hotel  and  go  bed.  John,  on  the 
outside,  says,  lazily,  "  All  right,  sir.  I  be  very  tired."  Landlord 
says,  "Now  did  you  ever  hear  of  such  a  thing  ?  he  says  he's  very 


28  SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 

tired,  and  I  declare  we  haven't  had  a  customer  in  twenty-four  hours, 
and  the  last  one  we  did  have  ran  away  without  paying  his  bills, 
and  declared  that  the  house  was  tenanted  with  goblins,  fiends  and 
devils,  and  I  suppose  by  this  time  he  has  spread  the  report  around 
the  country,  and  the  former  good  reputation  of  my  house  will  be 
ruined;  well,  as  the  old  song  says'  'Grieving's  a  folly,  I' hate 
melancholy,'  so  what's  the  odds  so  long  as  you're  happy  ?  lets  enjoy 
ourselves  while  we  may,  so  John  bring  in  the  table  -and  chairs  and 
let  me  have  my  supper  right  away,  and  then  we  will  lock  up  the 
house  and  be  off  to  bed."  John  jumps  over  the  light,  and  says  : 
"  Did  you  call  me,  sir  ?"  Landlord  says  :  "  Did  I  call  you  ?  to  be 
sure  I  did,  and  loud  enough  to  wake  up  the  seven  sleepers  ;  so  wake 
up,  you  lazy  rascal,  and  make  haste  and  get  my  supper  ready  ;  now, 
then,  go  get  the  table."  John  says  :  "  Am  1  to  do  it  all  alone  by 
myself?"  Landlord  says:  "No,  you  lazy  lout,  I'll  help  yon," 
and  he  kicks  John  behind,  and  he  jumps  over  the  light,  at  which 
the  landlord  laughs  and  says:  "That  is  the  quickest  move  he's 
made  for  many  a  day,  ha !  ha  !  ha  !  but  I  must  go  and  look  after 
him,  or  else  he  will  fall  asleep  again  before  he  comes  down  stairs;  so 
here  goes  ;"  and  the  landlord  jumps  over  the  light,  then  landlord 
and  John  jump  over  the  light  with  a  small  round  table,  and  place 
it  in  the  center  of  the  sheet ;  then  each  jump  over  again,  and  bring 
on  a  chair,  and  place  them  on  each  side  of  the  table  ;  then  landlord 
jumps  over  the  light  and  jumps  back  again,  and  brings  on  a  table-' 
cloth  and  spreads  it  over  the  table,  and  John  jumps  over  tne  light 
and  returns  with  tin  dishes,  cups,  plates  and  one  dish  with  an 
imitation  joint  of  meat  on  it,  and  a  loaf  of  bread,  knives,  &c., 
then  gets  a  mug  of  beer  and  places  it  on  table  ;  landlord  fits  down 
and  is  going  to  eat,  and  says,  "  I  never  could  enjoy  a  meal  all  by 
myself.  I  must  have  company,  so  John,  just  you  sit  down  and  try 
and  keep  awake,  and  you  can  take  your  supper  with  me  "  John 
says,  "Thankee,  sir,"  and  sits  down  on  one  side  of  table  and  the 
landlord  on  the  other  ;  they  cut  bread  and  are  aboufc  to  enjoy  them- 
selves, just  going  to  eat,  when  a  loud  knocking  and  calling  for 
landlord  is  heard  as  if  at  door  outside.  Landlord  says:  "John, 
go  and  open  the  door  and  see  who  it  is."  John  drops  his  bread 
very  reluctantly,  and  jumps  over  the  light ;  landlord  says,  "Ah  ! 
now  I  shall  have  a  good  customer  surely  at  this  time  of  night,  and 
I  hope  a  jolly  companion  to  supper  ;"  rubs  his  hands  and  looks  at 
his  watch,  and  says,  "  past  eleven  o'clock — why,  how  the  time  flies." 
Then  John  jumps  over  the  light,  followed  by  the  traveler,  who  says  : 
"How  do  you  do,  landlord  ?  can  I  have  a  bed  and  a  nice  hot  supper 
here?"  Landlord  says:  "Certainly,  sir,  certainly.  John,  show 
the  gentleman  to  a  seat  at  the  table,  and  you  can  wait  for  a  while." 
John  shows  the  traveler  to  his  seat,  and  as  he  sits  down  he 
threatens  him,  and  goes  and  stands  back  of  the  landlord's  chair 
The  traveler  throws  off  his  coat  and  hat  and  takes  his  seat,  and  say*  : 
"  It's  a  very  cold  evening,  and  I  am  glad  to  get  in  here  where  it,  is 
warm,  and  also  to  see  you  have  a  nice  hot  supper  ready,  and  1  assure 
you  that  I  mean  to  do  justice  to  it."  John  says  (aside) :  "  Yes,  you 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES.  29 

look  mean  enough  to  do  anything."  The  landlord  bows  very 
obsequiously  to  the  traveler,  and  says  :  "  I  am  pleased  to  see  you, 
sir,  and  am  happy  to  welcome  you  to  the  Black  Bull,  the  finest  inn 
for  fifty  miles,  where  you  will  tind  the  softest  of  beds,  the  choicest 
of  wines  and  liquors,  and  in  the  way  of  eatables,  the  very  best  the 
market  affords,  and  served  up  in  the  most  tempting  style  by  polite 
and  attentive  waiters,  and  all  the  aforesaid  at  the  most  reasonable 
rates."  Traveler  says:  "This  fellow  seems  to  be  gifted  with 
plenty  of  tongue,  and  I  think  will  serve  to  beguile  the  tediousness 
of  an  hour  or  two,  so  I'll  invite  him  to  take  supper  with  me,"  and 
says,  "Landlord,  I  am  very  sorry  to  have  disturbed  you  while  at 
your  supper,  and  in  order  to  make  amends  for  the  interruption,  why, 
suppose  you  keep  me  company,  and  we'll  drink  to  our  better 
acquaintance."  John  says  (aside):  "He  don't  seem  sorry  for  me 
a  bit."  Landlord  says  to  traveler:  "With  pleasure,  sir.  with 
pleasure.  I  am  never  so  happy  as  when  I  am  obliging  my  customers, 
and  eating  and  drinking  with  them  in  a?- friendly  manner."  John 
says  (aside):  "Yes  and  at  their  expense."  Landlord  pours  out 
beer  in  the  cups,  and  the  traveler  and  landlord  both  lift  up  their 
cups  and  knock  them  together,  and  rise  up  as  if  to  drink 
a  toast,  when  a  loud  knocking  is  heard  outside,  and  landlord 
and  traveler  both  put  their  cups  down  and  fall  into  their  seats  as  if 
half  frightened.  John  laughs  at  them  ;  the  knocking  is  continued, 
and  John  at  one  side,  back  of  landlord,  pretends  to  be  asleep  ;  land- 
lord calls  out,  "John!  John!  confound  that  fellow,"  and  gets  up, 
turns  around,  and  sees  John  asleep  ;  he  kicks  him  behind  and  he 
jumps  over  the  light,  and  landlord  calls  out :  "Go  and  see  who  that 
is  knocking  at  the  door."  Landlord  sits  down  again,  and  says  to 
traveler :  "  That  servant  of  mine  is  the  sleepiest  and  laziest  fellow 
I  ever  had ;  he  can  never  do  anything  without  making  some 
blunder  or  other,  that  he  nearly  drives  me  crazy  ;  but  let  us  drink 
and  enjoy  ourselves."  They  are  about  to  drink,  when  John  suddenly 
jumps  over  the  light,  very  much  out  of  breath,  and  stops  them 
from  drinking  Landlord  says  to  him  :  "  Well,  who  is  it?"  John 
says  :  "A  traveler  who  wants  to  get  some  supper,  and  also  to  stop 
here  all  night,  sir."  Landlord  says:  "Well,  why  didn't  you  let 
him  in?"  John  says  :  "You  never  told  me  to,  you  only  told  me 
to  go  and  see  who  it  was."  Landlord,  enraged,  throw's  beer  in  his 
face,  and  says  :  "  Well,  now  go  and  let  him  in,  and  look  after  his 
horse.  John  sobs,  and  says  :  "He  aint  got  no  horse."  Landlord 
says:  "Well,  what  has"  he  got?"  John  says:  "He's  got  an 
animal  like  you,  sir."  Landlord  says  :  "  Like  me,  what's  that .' " 
John  laughs,  and  says:  "A  donkey,  sir,"  and  jumps  quickly 
over  the  light,  as  the  landlord  makes  a  motion  as  if  to  throw  a 
plate  at  him  ;  then  landlord  sits  down,  and  pours  out  more  beer  in 
cups,  and  he  and  the  first  traveler  are  going  to  drink,  when  second 
traveler  jumps  over  the  light,  and  says  :  "  Excuse  me,  gents,  for 
disturbing  your  feast,  but  I  am  on  a  traveling  tour  to  a  far  distant 
city,  and  as  it  is  getting  on  for  twelve  o'clock,  and  my  full-blood«-d 
animal  is  tired  and  jaded,  I  concluded  to  stop  at  this  comfortable 


30  SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 

looking  hotel,  in  quest  of  rest  and  refreshment,  and  am  delighted 
to  find  such  pleasant  company  here,  and  hope  that  you  will  have 
no  objections  to  letting  me  join  you  in  a  friendly  way."  First 
traveler  says  :  "  Not  in  the  least,  my  clear  sir,  but  shall  feel  honored 
by  the  pleasure  of  your  company.  Here,  Boniface,  jump  up  and 
let  this  gentleman  have  your  seat,  and  you  can  retire  to  your  larder 
and  enjoy  yourself  in  the  company  of  your  lout  of  a  servant. 
Landlord  gets  up,  and  says:  "Certainly;  very  well,  gentlemen, 
but  please  to  observe  to  be  very  quiet,  as  it  is  now  nearly  twelve 
o'clock,  and  I  make  it  a  rule  to  close  my  house  precisely  at  twelve 
o'clock  every  night;  so,  gentlemen,  Twill  wish  you  a  very  good 
night.  Both  travelers  say,  "Good  night,"  and  the  landlord  jumps 
over  the  light.  The  second  traveler  'takes  the  landlord's  vacant 
chair,  and  sits  by  table,  and  rubs  his  hands.  The  first  traveler 
says:  "You  have  had  a  rough  ride  to-night."  Second  traveler 
says  :  "Yes,  sir  ;  and  a  very  cold  one  too.  I  am  a  lawyer,  on  my 
way  to  the  next  town  to  try  a  very  important  case,  and  I  shall  have 
to  start  with  the  rising  sun  to-morrow  ;  so  let's  drink  to  each  other 
and  be  merry  for  the  short  time  we  shall  be  in  each  other's  com- 
pany. They  lift  up  their  cups  and  knock  them  together,  and  are 
about  to  drink,  when  a  boy  jumps  over  the  light,  dressed  in  a 
tight-fitting  suit,  with  a  tail  and  a  lage  demon  mask,  with  horns 
on  his  head.  He  gets  on  table,  and  frightens  tLe  travelers,  who 
drop  their  cups,  and  demon  jumps  off  the  table,  and  hides  under- 
neath it.  Both  travelers  look  on  table  for  him,  and  as  they  do  not 
see  him  they  laugh  at  one  another  for  being  frightened,  and  as  they 
go  to  drink  again,  the  demon  touches  them  on  the  shoulders,  and 
they  turn  away  to  look,  and  the  demon  catches  the  four  corners 
of  the  table  cloth  and  lifts  it  up  with  all  the  things  in  it, 
and  jumps  over  the  light  with  it.  The  travelers  look 
round  and  see  the  things  gone,  and  both  sit  down  again  and 
look  at  the  empty  table  in  astonishment;  both  turn  and  sigh, 
and  are  about  to  lean  their  arms  on  the  table,  when  the  demon 
jumps  over  the  light  and  lifts  the  table  away,  and  jumps  over  the 
light  with  it,  and  as  travelers  go  to  lean  on  table  they  both  fall, 
«ujd  get  up  and  discover  that  the  table  is  gone,  and  are  both  very 
much  bewildered,  and,  then  recovering  themselves  a  little,  say  : 
'•  L'-i's  sit  down,"  and  as  they  go  to  sit,  the  demon  jumps  over 
the  light  and  steals  ,the  two  chairs,  and  jumps  over  the  light  with 
them,  and  the  travelers  go  to  hit  and  fall  on  the  floor,  and  both 
io»k  astonished  at  each  other,  and  turn  and  both  laugh  heartily. 
First  traveler  says :  "This  place  must  be  bewitched  ;  first  we  lose 
our  supper,  then  the  table  that  contained  it,  and  now  we  lose  our 
se.its,  without  a  chance  of  contesting  them  ;  what  shall  we  do  now  ?" 
S«-cond  traveler  says  :  "If  we  had  a  pack  of  cards  now  we  might 
!ia\'»i  a  little  game  before  we  go  to  bed."  First  traveler  says: 
Whv,  it's  past  twelve  o'clock,  and  I  never  like  to  play  after  twelve. 
i..  1  Imve  often  .heard  that  the  old  boy  himself  watches  and  directs 
.  junc  after  that  time."  The  secon  1  traveler  laughs,  and  says  : 
"Ail  a  grandmother's  story.  I'm  a  lawyer  and  care  not  for  man 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  31 

nor  demon,  and  I  only  wish  we  had  a  pack  of  cards  and  we'd  soon 
test  the  truth  of  what  you  say."  First  traveler  says:  "Well, 
as  you  seem  so  anxious,  why  I  wish  we  had  the  cards  for  one 
game  ;"  as  soon  as  they  have  said  this,  the  demon  jumps  over  the 
light  with  a  large  pack  of  cards,  (with  the  spots  and  characters 
cut  out,  so  that  on  being  held  up  between  the  light  and  the  sheet 
they^will  show  to  the  audience  what  they  are)  and  he  drops  them  in 
between  the  two  travelers  and  jumps  over  the  light  again.  First 
traveler  turns  and  looks  down  and  sees  the  pack  of  cards,  and  says  : 
"  Why,  bless  me,  I  am  sarprised;  it  seems  as  if  our  very  wishes 
were  heard  and  answered;  for  look,  here  is  a  pack  of  cards,  all  ready 
to  our  hands,  and  we  can  now  enjoy  ourselves  to  our  hearts'  con- 
tent;  what  say  you?"  Second  traveler  says:  "What  say  I! 
why,  that  I  am  very  much  and  very  agreeably  astonished  ;  and  now 
that  we  have  the  cards,  what  game  shall  we  play?"  First  traveler 
says:  "Let's  play  at  draw  poker  or  seven  up.  Second  traveler 
says  :  "  No,  let  us  play  at  cribbage,  there  is  no  game  so  interesting 
as  cribbage."  First  traveler  says  :  "  Well,  as  you  like,  cribbage 
it  shall  be  ;  now  whose  deal  is  it  ?"  Second  traveler  says  :  "  Let 
us  cut  for  deal,  and  low  to  deal  first  ;"  then  he  takes  the  cards,  and, 
after  shuffling  them  a  little,  puts  them  down  in  center  between 
them,  and  first  traveler  takes  a  card  and  shows  it  is  a  five,  and  .says  : 
"  Mine  is  a  five."  Second  traveler  lifts  up  and  shows  a  ten-spot, 
and  says  :  "  And  mine's  a  ten  ;  so  you  deal  away."  First  traveler 
shuffles  the  cards  again,  and  offers  them  to  second  traveler,  who  cuts 
them,  then  first  traveler  deals  out  five  cards  each,  (all  spot  cards)  then 
turns  up  one  from  the  pack,  and  shows  it  is  a»  jack,  and  puts  it 
down,  and  says:  "I  take  one  for  his  nob;"  at  this  the  demon 
jumps  over  the  light,  with  the  bladder  on  the  stick,  and  hits  him 
on  the  head  with  it ;  then  second  traveler  says  :  "  And  I  take  two 
for  his  heels,"  and  the  demon  jumps  over  to  him  and  hits  him 
twice  with  the  bladder  ;  then  each  accuse  the  other  of  hitting  him; 
then  finally  beg  each  others'  pardon,  and  say  :  "  Let's  go  on  with 
the  game  ;"  then  first  traveler  plays  a  ten,  and  second  traveler 
plays  a  five,  and  says:  "Fifteen  two,"  and  the  demon  hits  each 
one  once  on  the  back,  and  goes  off.  First  traveler  says  :  "Some 
one  hit  me  on  the  back;  I  do  not  like  this,  and  shall  get  angry 
directly."  Second  traveler  pays:  "Some  one  hit  me  also,  and  I 
do  not  like  it.  I  think  that  landlord  is  playing  us  some  tricks,  but 
if  I  catch  him  I  will  teach  him  not  to  play  tricks  on  travelers  :  but 
never  mind,  we  will  watch  and  wait,  and  we  bhall  surely  catch  him  ; 
so  now  let's  go  on  with  the  game  ;  it  is  my  play,  and  I  play  a  five, 
and  take  two  for  a  pair  ;"  as  he  says  this  the  demon  gives  him  two 
smart  raps,  and  then  disappears.  He  says  :  "  Look  here,  landlord, 
if  this  thing  occurs  again,  we  will  both  leave  your  house  directly." 
Then  second  traveler  plays  a  nine-spot.  First  traveler  says  he  cannot 
go.  Then  second  traveler  says:  "  I  take  one  for  a  go."  Demon 
runs  in  and  hits  him  and  disappears,  and  the  traveler  threatens  off, 
as  if  threatening  landlord.  Second  traveler  says  to  first :  "  What 
have  you  got  ?"  First  traveler  counts,  and  has  two  fives  and  a  ten  ; 


82  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

and  counts,  fifteen  two,  fifteen  four,  and  a  pair,  making  the  total 
count  six.  The  demon  appears  at  back  of  him.  and  h*<  threa'ens 
him  and  disappears.  Second  traveler  says  :  "  Now  I  take  my  hand," 
and  shows  his  cards,  and  has  eight,  nine  and  five,  and  the  jack  on 
the  pack,  all  together  counting  two,  as  the  eight  and  nine  arc  ••('  no 
use  with  the  five;  as  he  counts  the  two  the  demon  appears  at  his 
back  and  threatens  him,  and  disappears  again  Second  traveler 
says:  "  Now,  whose  crib  is  it?"  The  first  traveler  says  :  l>It,  is 
mine."  The  crib  can  be  all  blank  cards  if  preferred  to  save  trou- 
ble ;  and  he  counts  fifteen  two,  a  piir  is  four,  and  one  for  his  n<>b 
is  five  ;  as  he  savs  this,  the  demon  jumps  in  center  and  bj  s  each 
one  with  the  bladder  and  they  see  him  and  are  very  soared  a  <1  ci'l 
out  landlord  ;  John  and  the  landlord  jump  over  the  light,  and  the 
demon  beits  all  four  indi-ciiminately  roim  1  about  the  stage  and 
as  he  hits  each  one  a  very  hard  knock,  they  jump  over  the  light 
after  each  other,  and  the  demon  follows.  Out  of  the  five  c.u-< U 
dealt  out,  each  throw  out  two  cards,  and  that  will  make  the  disca.d 
or  crib. 


BLONDIN  ON  THE  TIGHT-ROPE  ;    OR,  THE  LOVERS' 
STRATAGEM. 

The  articles  required  for  this  laughable,  and,  to  the  audience, 
very  extraordinary  illusion,  are  very  simple  and  easily  procurable, 
viz.  :  An  imitation  tight-rope,  which  is  made  by  a  long  plank, 
about  two  inches  thick,  and  about  eight  or  ten  inches  wide,  and 
long  enough  to  reach  two  or  three  feet  beyond  the  sheet  on  each 
side  to  where  the  stools  are  placed.  At  the  commencement  the 
plank  is  on  the  floor,  and  when  they  come  to  put  up  the  tight-rope, 
they  merely  raise  it  up  on  the  stools,  and  it  will  only  throw  a 
shadow  on  the  sheet  like  a  rope  ;  two  carpenters'  trussels  or  stools, 
one  about  two  feet  six  inches  high  and  the  other  about  four  feet 
high,  so  as  to  give  an  incline  to  the  rope  or  plank;  a  short  pole, 
about  three  or  four  feet  long;  a  small  wheelbarrow,  as  used  by  boys; 
a  muslin  big  as  described,  about  three  feet  long,  and  twenty-two 
inches  wide,  with  arm  holes;  an  Irishman's  coat,  hat,  stick  and 
short  pipe;  a  large  pair  of  whiskers  for  Dennis;  a  dressing-gown 
and  smoking-cap  for  Charles;  a  large  pair  of  Indian  clubs,  or  thev 
Cin  bo  imitation  ones  padded;  a  large  piper,  with  seal  like  a  marriage 
contract;  a  large  piece  of  wood,  or  half  a  brick,  to  look  and  lie 
used  like  a  piece  of  chalk  to  chalk  the  rope;  a  newspaper,  with 
the  advertisement  written  in  it;  and  a  large  pair  of  spectacles  or 
eyeglasses. 

NOTE. — Do  not  forget  that  all  the  action  must  be  done  as  much  as 
possible  sideways  or  in  profile,  or  it  will  not  be  seen. 

Immediately  the  lights  are  down  in  front,  and  the  sheet  is  bril- 
liantly illuminated  from  the  back,  then  Mr.  Biowiiard  (a  stout, 
portly  old  gentleman)  enters  from  one  side  and  his  daughter  from 


. 
SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  83 

the  other,  he  says  to  her  :  "  Good  morning,  Seraphina  ;  have  you 
taken  your  morning  exercise  yet  ?  You  know  you  must  not  neglect 
it,  as  I  want  you  to  become  robust  and  healthy  as  I  am  at  the 
present  moment ;  here  am  I  seventy-four  years  of  age  and  as  hearty 
as  a  young  man  of  eighteen,  and  all  by  taking  rny  regular  gym- 
na-tic  exercise.  Ah,  there  is  nothing  like  it ;  and  I  am  glad  to  see 
that  the  parents  of  the  present  day  are  wise  in  sending  their  sons 
and  daughters  to  the  gymnasium,  where  they  can  expand  their 
chests,  harden  their  muscles,  and  invigorate  the  system  generally. 
And  mark  my  words,  Seraphina,  that  I  have  concluded  never  to 
marry  you  to  any  but  a  gymnastic  artist,  a  man  who  is  perfect  in 
limb  and  form,  no  matter  what  his  facial  beauty  may  be  ;  so  make 
up  your  mind  to  what  I  say,  and  go  and  practice  with  the  twenty- 
four  pound  Indian  clubs  that  I  had  made  expressly  for  your  use." 
Seraphina  says  :  "Oh,  father,  they  are  too  heavy,  and  I  have  my 
piano  lesson  to  study,  and  my  French  dancing-master  will  soon  be 
here,  and  then  I  shall  have  to  take  my  dancing  lesson."  Mr.  Blow- 
hard  says  :  *•  Piano  fiddlesticks  !  better  learn  to  play  on  the  wash- 
board; and  as  for  dancing,  you  will  learn  that  quick  enough;  so  I  am 
determined  that  you  shall  practice  your  gymnastics  before  anything 
e'se.  So  1  will  go  and  get  the  clubs  for  you,  and  while  you  are 
using  them,  1  will  go  and  get  my  morning  cup  of  coffee,  and  then 
come  and  see  how  you  are  getting  along  ;  and  he  goes  off  and  brings 
on  two  large  Indian  clubs,  (the  same  as  are  used  in  a  gymnasium) 
and  says  :  •'  There  they  are  ;  and  now,  Seraphina,  just  throw  them 
around  your  head  a  while,  and  I  will  soon  return."  Then  he  goes 
off  at  side.  Seraphina  tries  to  lift  up  the  clubs,  and  says:  "I 
cannot  do  it.  they  are  too  heavy  ;  and  I  think  papa  is  very  unkind  to 
expect  me  to  practice  with  these  heavy  things.  I  am  sure  I  am 
healthy  enough  without  -this  nonsense.  I  only  hope  that  toy  dear 
Charles  will  return  from  California  with  plenty  of  money,  so  that 
he  can  come  and  marry  me,  and  then  I  am  sure  I  will  never  touch 
these  nasty  clubs  again."  She  tries  to  use  them,  but  cannot,  and 
says  :  "  It's  no  use,  I  cannot;  so  I  will  go  down  to  the  piano,  and 
practice  that  love  of  a  waltz  I  received  the  other  day.  and  papa 
may  practice  his  old  clubs  by  himself;"  and  she  goes  off  the  other 
side.  Then  Mr.  Blowhard  comes  on  from  opposite,  saying  :  "  Sera- 
phina, have  you  had  a  good  exercise  with  the  clubs?"  and  looks 
round,  but  cannot  see  her,  and  says  :  "I  suppose  she  has  got  tired 
1  and  has  gone  to  sit  down.  Oh,  if  these  children  only  knew  the 
benefits  to  be  derived  from  muscular  exercise  they  would  not  mind 
the  slight  exertion  of  swinging  these  clubs  about  for  a  few  hours  ; 
but  I  know  it  is  the  best  thing  they  can  do;  so  I  will  take  my 
regular  morning  practice,  and  then  go  to  my  study,  and  attempt  to 
discover  how  long  it  is  possible  for  a  man  to  stand  on  his  head 
without  getting  water  on  the  brain."  He  takes  up  the  clubs,  and 
swings  them  vigorously  around  and  over  his  head,  and  then  puts 
them  down,  and  says  :  "I  will  now  go  to  my  study,  and  practice 
my  new  feat,  that  will  astonish  the  world,  and  eclipse  the  fame  of 
the  renowned  Blondin.  Ah!  wonderful,  fearless,  intrepid  Biondin, 


34  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

the  hero  of  Niagara  Falls !  How  I  long  to  see  him  come  to  this  part 
of  the  country.  I  am  so  proud  of  him  and  his  superior  talents, 
that  if  he  comes  to  this  place  he  shall  have  a  public  welcome  and 
have  my  Seraphina  for  his  wife.  And  then  I  know  that  he  will 
be  an  honor  to  our  family,  and  that  Seraphina  will  progress  iu  her 
gymnastic  exercises."  He  then  goes  off.  taking  the  clubs  with  him, 
and  Charles  and  his  servant  man,  Dennis  Murphy,  both  jump  over 
the  light,  and  Charles  says  :  "  Yes,  this  is  the  very  place  where  the 
old  gentleman  lives,  so  we  must  be  very  careful  not  tube  discovered, 
for  if  we  are  all  is  lost,  for  I  know  that  he  will  never  give  his  con- 
sent to  my  marrying  Seraphina.  unless  I  can  do  the  E impillcerosia- 
lion  feat,  or  risk  my  neck  in  trying  to  imitate  Blondin  on  the  tight- 
rope. Dennis  says:  "And  is  it  the  tight-rope  he  wants,  sir? 
bedad  I'm  his  man.  I_learnt  the  tight-rope  from  Prof.  Burnham, 
and  I'll  show  him  how  I  can  do  it,  and  marry  his  daughter  for  yez 
as  well,  sir,  I  will."  Charles  says:  "What  do  you  mean,  sir? 
You  marry  his  daughter.  I  want  you  to  know  that  she  is  betrothed 
to  me,  and  will  marry  no  other."  Dennis  says:  "I  beg  your 
pardon,  sir.  I  didn't  mean  it;  I  only  meant  that  may  be  we  might 
hoax  the  old  man,  and  you  could  marry  the  daughter  instead  of  me, 
d'ye  mind  ?"  Charles  says  :  "Ah,  that  is  very  different.  Now  you  say 
that  you  have  learnt  the  tight-rope."  Dennis  says  :  "  Yes,  sir'ee. 
lean  walk  it  as  graceful  as  an  elephant  — no,  no,  I  mean  as  a  fairy." 
Charles  says:  "If  that  is  the  case,  Dennis,  I  have  a  mind  to  try 
you,  and  see  if  you  are  telling  me  the  truth."  Dennis  says :  "The 
truth  is  it?  divil  a  word  of  a  lie  in  it,  at  all,  at  all.  Shure  if 
ye'z  stretch  the  rope  tight  enough,  and  give  me  one  small  glass  of 
whiskey,  I'll  walk  from  the  ground  to  the  top  of  the  church  steeple, 
and  dance  jigs  all  the  ways  coming  back  again.  Shure  have  no 
fear  of  me,  sir.  When  I  was  traveling  as  servant  with  the  Pro- 
fessor, didn't  they  call  me  on  the  bills  Mons.,  what  de'ye  call  'em, 
from  Paris,  and  all  of  Paris  I  ever  see  I  could  put  in  my  eye.  and 
see  none  the  worse  for  it  at  all.  But  they  all  do  it,  and  why  shouldn't 
I,?  An  Irishman  is  as  clever  as  two  Frenchmen  any  day  in  the  week; 
so  stretch  up  your  rope,  and  chalk  my  feet.  Ah  !  ah  !  it's  all  in 
the  chalk,  d'ye  mind;  and  you'll  soon  see  how  I  can  walk  it." 
Charles  says  :  "  Well,  I  will  believe  you,  but  if  I  catch  you  out  in 
a  falsehood  I'll  break  every  bone  in  your  ugly  carcase;  so  pay 
attention  and  listen,  and  if  I  succeed  in  all  my  plans,  I'll  give 
3rou  a  nice  snug  sum,  and  then  set  you  up  in  any  business  you  like. 
Now,  my  idea  is  to  buy  you  a  pair  of  false  whiskers,  and  loan 
you  a  suit  of  tights,  that  I  bought  to  attend  the  gymnasia,  in 
order  to  become  an  athlete,  but  after  falling  and  nearly  breaking 
my  nose,  I  concluded  it  was  not  my  forte,  and  I  never  went  again. 
I  think  the  suit  will  just  fit  you,  and  disguised  as  you  will  be  with 
the  whiskers  and  the  tights,  I  can  readily  call  you  and  introduce 
you  as  the  great  Blondin,  the  hero  of  Niagara,  to  old  Mr.  Blowhard, 
and  inform  him  that  I  am  your  agent,  and  I  know  that  as  soon  as 
the  old  gent  thinks  he  has  the  veritable  Blondin  in  his  house,  he 
will  relax  his  vigilant  watch  over  his  daughter,  and  I  shall  be  able 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES.  35 

to  communicate  with  her,  and  inform,  her  of  my  safe  return  ;  then 
while  the  old  gentleman  is  engaged  with  you,  and  pressing  you 
to  give  lii in  an  exhibition  of  your  talent,  I  and  Seraphina  will 
steal  off  to  the  justice's  court,  get  united  in  the  holy  bonds  of  wed- 
lock, and  come  back  and  claim  the  old  man's  forgiveness,  as  he 
will  be  sure  to  be  in  a  good  humor  as  you  are  finishing  your  last 
grand  feat,  and  then  we  will  settle  down,  and  you  shall  marry  the 
girl  you  love,  and  you  can  remain  with  us  if  you  wish,  or  we  will 
set  you  up  in  business,  as  I  said  before  ;  so  come  along  to  my 
lodgings,  and  I  will  rig  you  out  as  Mons.  Blondin.  I  see  by  the 
papers  he  is  shortly  to  arrive  here,  and  that  will  aid  our  schemes  ; 
so  come  along,"  and  he  jumps  over  the  light.  Dennis  says  :  "  All 
right,  sir;  only  show  me  the  house  and  I'll  find  the  door  myself. 
Three  cheers  for  Frenchy  Blondin,  huroo  !"  and  he  jumps  over  the 
light.  Then  Mr.  Blovvhard  enters  from  the  side,  with  a  large  pair 
of  spectacles  on,  and  a  newspaper  in  his  hand,  as  if  he  H  reading 
it;  then  he  laughs,  and  exclaims  :  "Eureka!  Eureka!  at  last !  at 
last !  Here's  a  surprise,  my  wish  is  granted.  I  see  by  this  week's 
paper  that  the  agent  of  the  great,  the  wonderful  Monsieur  Blondin 
has  arrived,  and  that  he  is  making  arrangements  for  his  appearance 
in  this  part  of  the  country,  where  he  will  arrive  in  a  few  days, 
and  have  the  honor  of  appearing  in  some  of  his  most  startling 
feats,  such  as  wheeling  a  man  in  a  wheelbarrow,  walking  the  rope 
in  a  sack,  with  his  eyes  blindfolded,  and  witho*ut  a  balance-pole; 
standing  on  his  head,  and  walking  on  his  hands  on  the  rope,  a 
feat  never  before  attempted;  also,  hanging  by  his  left  ear.  and 
taking  a  table  and  chair  on  the  rope,  will  perform  the  difficult  and 
arduous  task  of  eating  his  supper  on  the  rope,  with  as  much  ease 
and  nonchalance  as  if  seated  in  his  own  or  anybody  else's  parlor." 
Then  Mr.  Blowhard  exclaims  :  "Wonderful!  extraordinary!  mar- 
velous !  I  only  wish  that  he  would  arrive  to-dav,  so  that 
Seraphina  could  see  him.  I  am  sure  she  would  fall  in  love 
with  him,  and  then  I  should  have  the  pleasure  of  havfng  a 
gymnastic  son-in-law,  and  a  gymnastic  wedding.  A  bright  idea 
strikes  me ;  he  shall  teach  the  parson  and  Seraphina  to  walk  the 
rope,  and  then  they  shall  be  married  on  the  tight-rope,  and  my 
name  will  be  handed  down  to  posterity  as  the  originator  and 
inventor  of  the  tight-rope  wedding,  ha!  ha!  ha!"  and  he  laughs 
heartily.  A  bell  rings  outside,  very  loudly.  Mr.  Blowhard  calls 
out :  "  John,  open  the  gate,  will  you  ?  I  declare  I  am  so  nervous 
with  expectation  that  I  hardly  know  whether  I  am  standing  on  my 
head  or  my  heels."  Then  Charles  jumps  over  the  light.  He  is 
dressed  in  a  large  dressing-gown,  and  a  smoking-cap,  with  a  large 
tassel,  and  has  a  riding-whip  in  his  hand,  and  talks  to  Mr.  Blow- 
hard  in  broken  French  or  Dutch,  and  says  :  "  Comme  vous  ports 
vous,  weigatz;  good  morning,  Mons.  Blower.  I  have  ze  letter  of  ze 
recommendation  to  you,  in  behalf  of  the  great,  ze  wonderful,  das 
extraordinary  Signor  Blondin,  the  first  and  only  acknowledged  pro- 
fessor of  ze  tight-rope,  who  made  the  perilous  ascension  across  the 
Falls  of  Niagare ;  and  on  the  conclusion  of  his  grand  performance, 


86  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

he  walked  across,  and  finished  by  coming  hack,  and  coiled  the  rope 
up  after  him  as  he  walked  his  narrow  pathway.  I  have  the  honor 
to  be  hi.s  agent,  and  am  now  looking  out  for  a  suitable  place  for 
him  to  show  his  wonderful  ability,  as  he  will  arrive  to-day  by  the 
under.- round  route,  and  will  be  prepared  to  execute  any  and  all 
of  his  wonderful  feats,  in  which  he  challenges  the  world  to  compete 
uitn  him  "  Mr.  Blowhard  shakes  hands  with  him,  and  says  :  '"My 
<!ear  s-ir,  I  am  proud  and  happy  to  meet  you,  and  welcome  you  as 
;iie  agent  of  the  great  Monsieur  Blondin,  and  beg  to  tender  you 
the  use  of  my  grounds  for  his  grand  exhibition,  and  a'so  to  tender 
to  him,  through  you,  the  hospitalities  of  my  house,  which  I  hope 
he  will  make  his  home  during  his  stay  in  these  parts.  As  I  happen 
to  have  a  large  rope.  I, will  immediately  have  it  stretched  and  put 
up  ready  for  the  Professor's  performance,  so  that  there  may  be  no 
delay;  sso  I  will  instantly  go  and  see  about  it.  Ah,  here  conies  my 
daughter;  I  \\ill  introduce  you  to  her,  and  you  will  greatly  oblige 
me  if  you  will  exp'ain  to  her  the  many  advantages  to  be  obtained 
from  a  thorough  course  of  gymnastic  training,  and  also  explain  to 
her  the  merits  of  the  great  Monsieur  Blondin."  Charles  says  :  "  Mr. 
LJlowhaid.  I  shall  only  be  too  happy  to  explain  to  her  tne  many 
advantages  that  she  will  gain  by  listening  to  your  sen  si  hie  advice, 
and  1  feel  sure  of  her  strict  attention  to  what  I  shall  say,  as  soon 
as  she  is  acquainted  \\ith  me  and  finds  out  who  I  am."  Seraphina 
enters  from  the  side,  and  Mr.  Blowhaid  says:  ''Seraphina,  my 
Daughter,  this  gentleman  is  Hie  agent  of  the  renowned  Monsieur 
B.ondin.  the  great  tight- rope  artist,  and  I  hope  you  will  pay  parti- 
cular attention  to  what  he  says  to  you,  and  put  in  practice  all  he 
tells  y«>u  to  do.  I  will  now  leave  you  together,  and  get  the  servants 
to  prepare  fur  the  reception  of  the  renowned  artist;"  lie  bows,  and 
goes  off  Charles  looks  at  Seraphina.  and  says  to  her  :  "  Seraphina, 
do  ymi  not  know  me?"  She  looks  up  to  him,  and  exclaims: 
"Chailes!"  and  throws  herself  in  his  arms,  and  they  embrace, 
an  I  she  says  :  '•  When  did  you  return  ?"  Charles  says:  "I  only 
arrived  a  few  days  ago  from  California,  accompanied  by  my  faithful 
servant,  one  Dennis  Murphy  by  name,  one  of  the  smartest  and 
quiekest  witted  men  you  have  ever  seen,  which  I  think  you  will 
-a\  as  s  on  as  you  know  all.  I  am  also  happy  to  te'l  you  that  I 
iiave  been  very  lucky  in  my  venture  in  California,  and  return  home 
\\iih  my  fortune  made;  so  now  we  can  get  married  and  settle  down 
without  dehy,  as  I  feel  sure  of  being  able  to  procure  you  father's 
<oii-e.nt  to  our  union."  Seraphina  says:  "  Oh,  Charles,  you  know 
that  my  father  has  said  I  should  never  marry  any  one  but  a  gym- 
na-tio  Professor,  and  1  do  so  fear  that  he  will  never  give  his  consent 
to  our  ui:i'>n."  Charles  say*  :  ••  But  you  heard  what  your  father 
said  just  no\v,  that  yon  were  to  do  whatever  1  told  you  to  do, 
and  I  sa\  that  you  are.  instantly  to  piepare.  to  m.trry  me;  so  you 
I  have  y»ii(  father's  coHseflt  already.  But  as  you  are  in  a  little 
I  ui)l  intoim  you  h.»\v  I  mean  to  gain  his  consent.  You 
know  that  it  has  been  )our  father's  ambition  for  many  years  to 
see  and  entertain  the  great  Blondin,  the  hero,  as  he  is"  called,  of 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  37 

Niagara  Falls,  and  as  I  see  by  the  papers  that  he  proposes  visiting 
the^e  parts  shortly,  I  planned  a  little  surprise  and  deception  for 
him  with  the  aid  of  my  servant,  who,  I  told  you,  is  able  to  do 
almost  anything,  and  can  perform  on  the  tight-rope  almost  as  good 
as  Blondin  himself— at  leat  he  tells  rue  so— so  I  have  procured  him 
a  good  disguise,  and  he  will  shortly  arrive  here  as  the  great  Blondin, 
and  to  carry  out  the  joke,  I  am  here  acting  as  agent  for  him,  and 
when  he  arrives,  and  is  going  through  his  performance,  you  and 
I  will  slip  off  together,  get  married,  and  before  he  concludes  his 
exhibition,  and  while  your  father  is  in  a  good  temper,  we  will  return, 
and,  on  our  knees,  ask  his  forgiveness  for  the  deception  practiced 
on  him,  and  I  feel  sure  of  obtaining  it."  Seraphina  says  :  "  My 
dear  Charles,  you  know  that  I  am  yours  only,  and  I  will  trust  you, 
although  I  do  not  like  to  even  seem  to  aid  you  in  deceiving  my 
gool,  kind,  indulgent  papa,  but  I  will  trust  to  your  ability  to  be 
able  to  gain  his  forgiveness,  and  then  we  shall  both  be  so  happy; 
so  I  will  hurry  away  and  make  all  preparations;  so  good  bye  for 
the  present."  and  they  embrace,  and  she  runs  off.  Charles  sings  : 
"  Huzzi,  she's  mine,  tolde  rol,  &c."  Dennis  jumps  over  the  light  in 
his  performing  costume,  and  slaps  Charles  on  the  back,  and  says  : 
"  How  are  ye  boss  ?  how  do  I  look  in  my  fleshings?  Ain't  that  an 
illeyjant  figure  ?"  and  he  turns  himself  round  for  his  inspection. 
Charles  looks  at  him  in  astonishment,  and  says  :  "You  look  the 
perfection  of  muscular  agility  and  grace,  but  for  mercy  sake  drop 
that  ho'rible  brojjuj  of  yours,  and  remember  you  are  now  a  French- 
man, and  must  talk  French."  Dennis  says  '  "  And  is  it  French  I'm 
to  talk  !  be  jab  rs  I'll  do  that  same  aisy  enough."  Charles  .-ays  :  "  I 
am  afraid  you  will,  and  rather  too  aisy  as  you  say — no,  you  must 
not  say  a  word  only  '  oui '  whenever  you  are  spoken  to  by  any  one; 
now  do  not  forget,  for  I  see  the  old  gent  coming  up  the  garden  walk, 
with  the  servants  and  the  rope  they  are  going  to  fix  up  for  you; 
so  remember,  only  'oui.'"  Dennis  says:  "All  right,  sir;  never 
fear  me,  I  can  say  it;  we!  we!  we!"  Mr.  Blowhard  enters,  and 
bows  to  Charles,  who  introduces  him  to  Dennis  in  this  way : 
"  Mr.  Blowhard.  allow  me  to  introduce  you  to  Mons.  Blondin; 
Blowhard.  Blondin,  Blondin,  Blowhard."  Mr.  Blowhard  shakes 
Dennis  by  the  hand  very  vigorously,  and  says:  "Sir,  I  am, 
pr-'ud  and  happy  to  see  you.  and  hope  that  you  will  not 
take  cold  in  that  summer  suit  of  yours."  Dennis  (forgetting  his 
character)  says  :  "  Take  cowld  !"  then  recollects,  and  stops  himself 
talking,  and  bows  very  extravagantly,  and  says:  "  We,  we,  we." 
Chailes  says:  "You  must  excuse  him  ;  he  has  not  quite  learned 
ze  English  language  yet,  but  as  he  travels  along  he  will  learn  by 
de^iees  "  Mr.  Blowhard  says  :  "Certainly;  no  apology,  no  apology. 
Now,  my  dear  tdr,  if  you  will  come  with  me  to  the  parlor,  and  take 
a  irla<s  of  my  old  French  wine,  while  the  servants  are  putting  up 
tin-  rope.  I  shall  feel  veiy  proud."  Dennis  is  very  pleased,  and  rubs 
hi-<  stomach,  and  says  :  "  Ow,  ow,  ah.  we.  we  ;"  and  he  and  Mr. 
Blowhard  go  off  arm  in  arm.  Charles  laughs  very  heartily  at  them, 
when  Seraphina  enters  with  her  bonnet  and  shawl  on,  and  a  small 


38  SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 

bundle  in  her  hand,  and  says  :  "  Dear  Charles,  I  am  ready."  He 
throws  off  his  dressing-gown  and  cap,  and  takes  her  hand,  and  they 
both  jump  over  the  light ;  then  four  servants  (men)  come  in.  two 
from  each  side,  and  raise  up  the  plank  from  the  floor,  and  set  it  on 
the  two  stools,  and  go  along  by  it,  and  make  a  noise  as  if  they  were 
pulling  the  rope  tight,  and  attempt  to  carry  out  the  idea  of  its  being 
a  rope  as  nearly  as  possible  as  the  action  will  suggest ;  then  some 
one  says  :  "  Chalk  the  rope  ;"  and  one  of  the  servants  gets  a  large, 
irregular  block  of  wood,  or  half  a  brick  will  do,  and  walks  along  as 
if  rubbing  chalk  on  the  rope,  and  then  the  servants  stand  at  each 
side,  for  spectators,  and  Mr.  Blowhard  and  Dennis  enter.  Mr.  Blow- 
hard  says :  "  Ladies  and  gentlemen,  allow  me  to  introduce  to  your 
notice  the  great  and  renowned  Monsieur  Blondin,  who  will  perform 
some  extraordinary  feats  on  the  tight  rope  you  now  see,  at  a 
lofty  elevation,  from  which,  if  he  was  to  fall,  he  would  be  dashed 
into  a  million  pieces,  and  you  could  all  gather  some  of  them  to  save 
as  curiosities  ;  but  have  no  fear,  ladies  and  gentlemen  ;  he  is  as 
sure-footed  as  the  goat  on  his  native  hills  ;  and  without  any  further 
preliminaries  he  will  now  exhibit  to  you  all  his  big  feat."  Dennis 
comes  to  the  center  and  bows  extravagantly,  and  then  goes  off  at 
the  bide  the  plank  is  lowest,  and  gets  his  pole  and  gets  on  the  plank 
and  walks  out  slowly  to  the  center,  and  acts  as  if  he  was  very 
frightened,  his  knees  and  limbs  trembling,  &c.  ;  all  applaud  very 
loudly.  He  stops  and  calls  out :  "  Sthop  your  noise,  ye  blackgards, 
and  come  and  chalk  my  feet ;"  then  he  recollects  his  assumed  char- 
acter, and  walks  back  to  the  side,  so  that  he  is  in  sight  on  the 
plank,  and  bows  and  calls  out :  "  We,  we,  we.  chalke.  chalk'ee 
foots  ;"  and  holds  up  one  foot.  Blowhard  is  rather  bewildered  at 
first  on  hearing  him  talk  Irish,  but  recovers  himself,  and  calls  out : 
44  John,  chalk  the  professor's  feet."  John,  a  servant,  with  the 
imitation  piece  of  chalk,  goes  to  Dennis  and  rubs  it  on  his  feet,  when 
Dennis  takes  it  from  him  and  rubs  it  on  his  own  feet,  then  on  the 
pole,  and  then  on  his  head,  and  finally  throws  it  at  the  servant, 
who,  in  trying  to  catch  it,  falls  as  if  it  knocked  him  down  ;  then 
Blowhard  applauds,  and  exclaims  :  "  Wonderful !  most  wonderful !" 
and  all  applaud.  Then  Dennis  runs  out  on  the  plank,  and  dances 
backwards  and  forwards,  and  then  sits  down  in  the  center,  and 
bows,  and  they  all  applaud.  He  gets  up  and  walks  backwards,  and 
then  gives  his  pole  to  servant,  and  then  walks  and  dances  without 
the  pole,  and  comes  back,  and  they  give  him  a  small  wheelbarrow, 
and  as  he  is  prepared  to  start,  Mr.  Blowhard  says  :  ' '  Monsieur 
Blondin  offers  to  carry  any  gentleman  across  the  rope  in  the  wheel- 
barrow that  will  volunteer  to  go  with  him.  As  no  one  offers,  Dennis 
bows,  and  wheels  the  barrow  very  slowly  up  the  plank,  and  then 
the  same  backwards,  then  runs  up  and  down  it  very  quickly, 
and  finally  puts  the  barrow  on  his  shoulder,  and  runs  up  and  down 
the  plank,  and  gives  the  barrow  to  a  servant,  and  then  bows,  and 
they  all  applaud.  Then  servant  gives  him  a  handkerchief,  which 
he  folds  up  and  binds  over  his  eyes,  being  careful  to  leave  one  open 
so  that  he  can  Bee  ;  then  motions  in  pantomime  that  he  cannot  see  ; 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  39 

then  they  give  him  a  common  muslin  bag,  which  he  puts  over  his 
head,  and  it  has  two  holes  for  him  to  put  his  arms  through,  which 
he  does,  and  then  walks  very  carefully  along,  and  makes  several 
false  steps,  with  one  foot  off  at  the  side  of  the  plank,  as  if  he  could 
not  feel  his  way,  and  was  going  to  tumble.  Mr.  Blowhard  motions 
as  if  he  was  afraid  he  was  going  to  fall,  and  holds  up  his  hands  as 
if  prepared  to  catch  him,  if  he  should  make  a  miss  step.  Then 
Dennis  recovers  himself,  and  goes  slowly  along  to  the  other  end  ; 
then  in  coming  back  makes  several  feints  of  stumbling  and  falling, 
then  he  runs  up  and  down  and  dances,  and  they  all  applaud  ;  and 
he  comes  back,  and  throws  off  the  sack  and  the  handkerchief, 
and  bows  to  the  spectators.  Then  one  of  the  servants  gives  him  a 
little  short- tailed  Irish  coat  and  an  old  felt  hat,  and  a  short  pipe 
and  a  shillelagh,  and  he  puts  them  on,  to  look  like  an  Irishman  ; 
then  the  music  can  strike  up  an  Irish  jig,  and  Dennis  goess  out  and 
dances  in  the  center,  as  fast  as  he  can  ;  all  applaud,  and  Mr.  Blow- 
hard  exclaims:  "Wonderful!  here,  Seraphina,  come  and  see!" 
As  he  calls  out,  Seraphina  and  Charles  come  on  and  kneel  to  him, 
and  show  him  a  large  paper  with  seals  attached  to  it,  to  represent  a 
marriage  certificate,  and  in  expressive  action  indicate  they  have  junt 
been  married,  and  ask  for  his  forgiveness.  Blowhard  gets  enraged, 
and  pulls  his  hair  with  both  his  hands,  and  starts  back,  and  says  : 
"You  here,  Charles,  and  married  to  my  daughter!  I've  been 
swindled,  cheated,  humbugged !  You  shall  never  have  my  forgive- 
ness ;  and  as  for  you,  Seraphina,  I  will  cut  you  off  with  a  shilling, 
and  never  more  own  you  as  a  daughter  of  mine  !  Go  !  go  !  with 
your,  swindling  husband!"  Dennis  on  the  rope  has  stopped  and 
watched  this  scene  with  evident  enjoyment,  and  laughs  heartily  ; 
but  when  Mr.  Blowhard  looks  up  to  him  he  dances  away  more 
vigorously  than  ever.  Mr.  Blowhard  looks  at  him,  and  says  to 
Charles:  "Then,  I  suppose  this  Frenchman,  Monsieur  Blondin, 
that  you  are  agent  for,  is  another  fraud  on  my  good  nature.  I  am 
a  good  mind  to  have  you  both  horsewhipped  on  the  spot."  Charles 
says  :  "  No,  sir,  the  Monsieur  Blondin  you  see  here  is  an  Irishman, 
my  servant,  Dennis  Murphy,  at  your  service."  Mr.  Blowhard  is 
astonished,  and  says  :  "At  my  service  !  I  would  not  have  such  a 
rascal  in  my  employ!"  Dennis  says:  "Hah!  hah!  and  do  yez 
think  I'd  engage  the  likes  of  ye  for  a  master?  No,  no,  old  Blow- 
bags,  I  wouldn't."  All  laugh  at  him,  and  Mr.  Blowhard  says: 
"  I've  been  swindled,  but  I'll  punish  you  every  one.  Get  out  of  my 
sight,  every  one  of  you  ;"  and  he  runs  off  in  a  rage.  All  laugh. 
Then  Dennis  jumps  off  the  plank,  and  wishes  his  master  joy,  and  a 
large  family  of  small  children,  and  all  the  people  shake  hands  with 
them,  and  the  servants  pull  the  stools  away,  and  let  the  plank  fall 
on  to  the  ground  flat.  Then  Dennis  says  :  "  Let's  all  have  a  dance, 
boys."  Then,  while  they  are  all  dancing  to  the  Irish  jig,  Mr. 
Blowhard  runs  in  with  his  two  Indian  clubs,  and  beats  them  all,  and 
they  jump  over  the  light,  Dennis  the  last  one.  Mr.  Blowhard  hits 
him  and  he  jumps  over,  then  he  swings  his  clubs  round  and  round 
his  head  in  triumph,  and  jumps  over  the  light  at  the  same  time. 


40  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

THE  MUFFIN  MATCH  ;  OK,  THE  GAME  OF  BASE-BALL. 

Properties  required. — Two  regular  base-ball  clubs,  and  one  made  in 
imitation,  to  be  padded  very  nicely,  so  that  it  will  not  hurt  a  person 
when  struck  with  it  ;  a  large,  hollow,  India-rubber  ball,  such  as  is 
used  for  the  game  of  foot-ball ;  a  book  and  pencil  for  the  referee  ; 
a  loosely-stuffed  figure  of  a  man  in  base-ball  costume,  so  that  the 
figure  can  be  thrown  about,  and  doubled  all  up,  and  carried  off  by  a 
man  ;  a  live  chicken. 

This  extraordinary  match  (not)  for  the  championship  of  this  state 
is  played  by  the  nines  of  the  Atlantic  and  Pacific  Ocean  Clubs,  both 
of  New  Jersey,  (as  the  whole  nine  could  not  be  seen  at  once  on  the 
sheet,  you  will  please  suppose  that  the  others  are  in  their  respec- 
tive positions,  such  as  right,  left,  and  center  fields,)  and  is  com- 
menced by  about  four  or  five  men  or  boys  jumping  over  the  light, 
alternately,  after  each  other,  and  standing  in  groups,  some  with 
bats,  and  one  with  the  large  ball,  which  he  amuses  himself  with,  by 
throwing  it  up  and  catching  it  several  times  dining  the  conversa- 
tion. Then  one  of  them  who  is  a  good  talker,  and  who  is  to  act 
as  referee,  says  :  "  Well,  boys,  here  we  are  at  the  grounds,  and  as 
it  is  a  fine  day,  and  the  field  is  in  fine  condition,  I  hope  to  see  you 
play  the  finest  game  of  the  season.  Remember  the  eyes  of  the 
whole  base- ball  fraternity  are  upon  you,  and  it  is  expected  you  will 
score  the  best  game  of  the  season.  Now,  as  the  nines  of  each  club 
are  present,  I  propose  that  you  choose,  by  the  number  of  cents  I 
have  in  my  hand,  who  shall  have  the  first  innings.  Now,  one  from 
each  club,  guess,  odd  or  even,  and  the  one  guessing  right,  the  club 
he  represents  shall  take  first  inning."  He  then  holds  out  his  hand 
and  two  step  forward  and  guess,  one  of  them  saying  even  and  the 
other  odd.  Then  the  first  speaker  says  :  "  The  odds  have  it.  Now 
I  will  act  as  referee,  and  decide  the  game  on  its  merits,  and  I  hope 
there  will  be  no  quarreling  in  this  game,  such  as  there  has  been  in 
nearly  all  the  match  games  this  season.  Now,  proceed  with  the 
game  ;  gentlemen  in  the  field  please  tako  their  positions."  Then 
some  go  off.  Then  man  with  ball  stands  on  one  side,  and  shows 
the  ball,  and  says  :  "I  am  the  pitcher."  Then  a  man  with  a  bat 
stands  on  other  side,  and  shows  his  bat,  and  says  :  "  It  is  my  first 
strike."  Then  a  man  comes  forward  at  the  back  of  striker,  and  says  : 
"  I  am  the  short  stop."  Then  they  take  their  positions  across  the 
sheet,  and  the  referee  goes  off  at  one  side,  and  calls:  "Play." 
Then  the  pitcher  throws  the  ball,  and  the  striker  hits  at  it,  but 
misses  it,  and  the  referee  calls  out :  "  Strike."  Then  the  short  stop 
throws  ball  to  batter  again,  who  moves  on  one  side,  and  the  short 
stop  runs  in  to  catch  it,  and  the  ball  hits  him  in  the  stomach,  and 
he  falls  flat  on  his  back.  Referee  calls  out:  "Shortstop."  Then 
the  pitcher  and  striker  lift  him  up  by  his  head  and  his  heels  (he 
keeping  very  stiff  all  the  time),  and  they  jump  ever  the  light  wiih 
him.  As  they  go,  the  refeiee  calls  out:  "Another  victim  to  the  base- 
ball mania."  A  man  jumps  over  the  light,  and  says  :  "  I  will  take 
his  place  ;"  and  he  goes  to  it.  Then  the  pitcher  and  striker  jump 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  41 

back  over  the  light,  and  go  to  their  positions,  and  referee  says  : 
'•  Play  "  The  pitcher  throws  the  1-all,  and  the  striker  hits  it  and 
knocks  iV  over  the  Ikht,  and  he  drops  his  bat  and  runs  off.  and 
pitcher  jumps  up  and  around,  calling  out:  "  Send  in  that  ball,"  &c. 
Then  striker  comes  back,  and  referee  calls  out  :  "Home  run;"  and 
ball  is  thrown  over  the  light  to  pitcher.  Another  stiiker  takes  his 
position,  and  the  pitcher  throws  the  ball,  and  hits  the  striker  full 
in  the  face  with  it.  At  the  same  time  a  person  back  of  light  throws 
alive  chicken  over,  and  the  referee  calls  out:  "  Foul  ball."  Then 
some  of  players  catch  chicken  and  take  it  off.  Then  pitcher  throws 
again,  and  batter  knocks  it  over  the  light,  and  runs  off  at  opposite 
side.  Then  there  is  a  good  deal  of  calling  out  and  running,  when 
the  person  luck  of  Iteht  who  has  caught  the  ball  must  throw  it  up 
over  the  light,  and  the  pitcher  catches  it,  and  the  referee  calls  out : 
<%  Out  on  the  fly,"  and  says  :  '"Next  innings."  Men  cheer,  talk,  &c., 
and  change  about,  as  new  side  take  their  places,  and  then  commence 
to  play.  The  pitcher  throws  ball  and  batter  misses  it  ;  short  stop 
catches  it  and  throws  it  to  pitchur  ;  referee  calls  :  "*0/ie  strike." 
Then  pitcher  throws  the  ball,  and  it  hits  the  striker's  legs,  and  he 
tumbles  forward  over  it  on  to  the  floor.  Keferee  says:  "That's  a 
daisy  cutler  ;  he  falls  like  the  leaves  fall."  Then  the  striker  gets  up 
ready  to  play,  and  stands  in  position  ;  then  the  pitcher  throws  the 
ball,  and  he  hits  it  and  knocks  it  over  the  light,  and  person  at 
back  of  light  catches  it.  Then  striker  runs  off  on  opposite  side  ; 
the  ball  is  thrown  to  pitcher,  who  throws  it  off  after  striker,  and 
all  cry:  "Out;"  but  the  referee  says:  "  Second  base— play."  An- 
other stiiker  takes  his  position,  and  pitcher  throws  the  ball,  and 
the  striker  hits  it  and  it  goes  over  the  light,  and  must  be  caught  by 
somebody  at  back  ;  and  the  referee  calls  out :  "  That's  a  sky-scraper," 
and  the  previous  striker  runs  in,  and  the  last  striker  runs  off  and 
back  again,  as  if  he  had  ran  to  the  bases;  and  the  referee  says: 
"  Two  home."  The  ball  is  now  thrown  to  pitcher,  and  a  person 
takes  his  position  as  striker,  and  then  pitcher  throws  ball,  and 
striker  hits  it  and  knocks  the  ball  over  the  light,  and  he  runs  off 
on  opposite  side.  Then  the  person  back  of  light  who  has  caught  the 
ball  passes  it  over  the  light  into  the  hands  of  the  pitcher,  and  referee 
says:  "  Passed  ball ;"  and  then  the  striker  runs  in  from  opposite 
side,  and  tries  to  run  to  home  base,  but  the  pitcher  throws  the  ball 
at  him  and  hits  him  on  the  back  of  the  head  with  it,  and  he  stum- 
bles and  falls  beyond  the  sheet.  The  referee  calls:  "  Struck  out  /" 
The  men  say  :  "  No,  sir,  it  is  not  fair  ;  we  will  not  play."  Then 
all  come  in  and  quarrel  about  the  laws  of  base-ball,  &c.,  each  party 
taking  sides,  and  arguing  they  are  right  and  the  others  are  wrong  ; 
and  in  the  midst  of  a  war  of  words  the  referee  jumps  in  amongst 
them  and  says  :  ''I'm  the  referee,  and  I  must  be  obeyed."  Then 
some  one  hits  him  on  the  head  with  the  ball  ;  then  he  turns  round 
and  seizes  the  stuifed  bat,  and  beats  them  all  over  the  light ;  then, 
as  he  turns  and  laughs,  one  of  the  men  comes  back  and  fights  with 
him,  and  struggles  off,  and  then  comes  on  with  the  dummy  figure, 
and  throws  it  down,  and  doubles  it  up,  and  puts  it  under  his  arm, 
and  then  jumps  over  the  light. 


42  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

REGULAR  HASH  ;   OR,  THE  BOARDING-HOUSE  CONSPIRACY. 

The  properties  used  in  this  comical  thrust  at  our  home  (?)  insti- 
tutions, are  :  A  table  and  chair;  a  table-cloth;  two  plates;  knives 
and  forks;  a  tin  pail,  with  some  pudding  in  it  to  represent  hash, 
(farina  pudding  or  jelly  will  be  best,  as  it  can  be  eaten  readily;)  a 
large  ladle  or  iron  spoon  to  be  in  the  tin  pail,  to  be  used  in  putting 
the  pudding  on  the  plate;  three  or  four  brooms;  a  live  kitten,  and 
a  large  live  cat;  cane  for  Doctor,  &c. 

When  all  is  ready,  and  the  light  well  on  the  sheet,  let  three  or  four 
men  come  on,  part  from  each  side;  then  one  says  :  "This  is  the 
place  of  meeting,"  and  another  says:  "And  this  the  hour  we 
were  to  meet."  Another  says:  "We  are  here,  but  where  is 
our  worthy  president?"  Then  a  very  lean  specimen  of  a  man 
jumps  over  the  light,  and  in  a  hollow  voice  says  :  "I  am  here, 
brothers  in  distress,  I  greet  you;  you  have  unanimously  chosen  me 
to  be  your  president  and  spokesman,  and  by  my  order  we  have 
convened  here  to  requite  our  wrongs,  for  that  we  are  wronged  you 
all  can  testify  to,  can  you  not?"  They  all  say  :  "  We  <Jan !  we 
can!"  President  says:  "I  knew  you  could;  here  we  are,  all 
boarders  at  Mrs.  Stintem's  boarding-house,  paying  her  the  extra- 
ordinary sum  of  three  dollars  per  week  for  board,  lodging,  gas  and 
fire,  and  what  do  we  get  for  it?  Do  we  get  good  rooms?  Ncr!" 
All  say  :  "No  !"  He  says  :  "  No,  we  do  not;  we  are  placed  two  in  a 
bed,  and  four  in  a  room,  which  is  an  outrage  of  itself.  Gentlemen, 
I  say  an  outrage  !v  All  echo  :  "  An  outrage  !"  He  says  :  "Do 
we  get  gas  ?  No!"  All  say:  "No!"  Hesays:  "  No  !  only  small 
coal-oil  lamps,  that  are  warranted  to  burn  only  long  enough  to  let 
you  get  partially  disrobed,  and  then  go  out,  and  leave  you  in  dark- 
ness, and  consequently  we  have  to  get  into  bed  in  the  dark,  and 
that  is  the  reason  we  make  mistakes,  and  sometimes  get  into  the 
wrong  beds,  and  not,  as  Mrs.  Stintem  says,  because  we  are  the  worse 
for  liquor.  This  is  another  outrage."  All  say  :  "Another  outrage." 
«He  says  :  "  Do  we  get  fires  ?  No  !"  All  say  :  "  No  !"  He  says  : 
"Certainly  not;  only  the  fire  in  the  kitchen  grate,  that  is  used  to 
cook  our  food,  which  our  landlady  says  is  enough  to  warm  the  house, 
and  which  I  contend,  and  you  all  agree,  is  not  enough  to  even  warm 
the  kitchen;  this  I  say  is  another  outrage.  What  do  )rou  say,  my 
companions  in  misery  ?"  All  say  :  "  Another  outrage  !"  He  says  : 
"  Now  we  come  to  the  grand  swindle  of  all,  that  is  our  food,  which 
consists  of  a  regular  bill  of  fare,  which  I  will  enumerate  to  you  : 
For  breakfast,  weak  tea  and  hash  !  (all  groan)  for  dinner,  hash  and 
weak  tea !  (all  groan)  for  supper,  tea  and  cold  hash  !  (all  groan) 
this  is  the  greatest  outrage  of  all."  All  say  :  "  The  greatest  out- 
rage !"  He  says:  "Not  alone  is  it  an  outrage,  but  which  of  you 
knows  of  what  the  hash  is  composed  ?  Not  one  of  you !  for  on 
different  days  have  each  one  of  you  found  some  different  ingredient 
compounded  with  his  hash,  that  it  would  puzzle  the  ablest  impeach- 
ment lawyer  to  decide  what  it  is  made  of.  One  day  our  worthy 
brother  Grizzle  found  the  remains  of  an  old  broom,  mixed  with  his 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES.  43 

portion  of  hash,  and  our  brother  Dobson  found  what,  to  him,  looked 
like  a  rat's  tail,  in  his  portion  of  the  savory  viand,  and  other  things 
have  been  found  that  it  is  not  well  for  our  hungry  stomachs  to  men- 
tion. We  have  aU  tried  to  find  out  when,  where,  and  how  it  is 
made,  but  up  to  the  present  moment  none  of  us  have  been  able  to 
solve  the  problem.  Still,  I  will  ask  you  all  once  more;  have  any 
of  you  discovered  anything  new  ?"  Then  one  of  them  steps  forward, 
and  says  :  "  I  have  a  secret  to  impart.  Let  all  be  silent.  Yester- 
day while  I  was  watching  and  trying  to  find  out  how  our  hash  was 
made,  I  discovered  (all  listen),  what  looked  to  me  like  the  remains 
of  Mrs.  Stintem's  big  Thomas  cat,  which  we  have  all  remarked  has 
disappeared  very  mysteriously.  I  made  an  excuse  for  entering  the 
kitchen,  and  then  I  asked  Mrs.  Stintem  what  it  was  on  the  table, 
and  she  had  the  effrontery  to  tell  me  that  it  was  a  rabbit  that  was 
made  a  present  to  her,  and  that  we  were  to  have  it  for  dinner  to- 
day. Now,  I  for  one  do  not  believe  her,  and  have  made  up  my  mind 
that  when  I  come  home  to  dinner  and  we  should  have  hash  (for  a 
change)  that  I  will  not  eat  it;  what  say  you  all?"  They  all  say  : 
"  We  agree  with  you  "  Then  the  president  says  :  "I  have  a  plan 
to  propose,  and  all  must  agree  to  be  in  the  conspiracy.  Will  you  be 
guided  by  me?"  All  say:  "We  will!"  He  says:  "  Then,  in 
the  first  place,  if  the  article  that  our  brother  saw  yesterday  on  the 
kitchen  table  was  a  rabbit,  it  will  be  served  to  us  as  a  rabbit,  but  if 
it  was  the  cat,  as  we  suspect,  it  will  be  served  to  us  hi  our  regular 
hash,  so  we  all  agree  not  to  eat,  but  wait  until  we  discover  what  it 
is,  and  then,  if  our  suspicions  are  founded  upon  the  right,  -we  will 
capture  Mrs.  Stintem  and  severely  punish  her,  and  then  make  her 
eat  the  whole  allowance  of  hash  that  she  prepares  and  serves  up 
to  the  boarders;  do  you  all  agree  ?"  All  say  :  "  We  do."  "  Now 
affirm  it  by  holding  up  your  hands."  They  do  so.  He  says  :  "It 
is  well.  Now  disperse  to  your  rooms,  as  I  think  I  hear  the  voice 
*yf  our  landlady  approaching,"  and  they  all  go  off  at  the  sides. 
Then  the  landlady  comes  on  from  the  other  side,  and  sets  on  a 
table  and  chair  on  one  side  near  sheet,  puts  cloth  on  table,  then 
fetches  on  plates,  and  a  large  tin  pail  of  pudding  of  some  .sort  that 
lan  be  eaten  readily,  (and  to  represent  the  hash)  a  large  spoon  in 
pail;  and  when  she  gets  all  ready,  she  says  :  "  Well,  if  ever  there 
was  a  poor  lone  widow  that's  pestered  to  death,  it's  me.  Here  have 
I  had  seven  servant  girls  within  the  last  three  days,  and  every  one 
of  them  has  left,  because  I  do  not  give  out  the  hard  work,  and  keep 
a  woman  to  do  the  odd  jobs  at  home,  and  because  they  can't  have 
every  other  da^  off  to  go  and  see  their  cousins;  and  now  I'm  deter- 
mined to  do  the  work  myself,  and  by  that  means  I  shall  save  more 
money,  and  be  able  to  retire  the  sooner.  Then  them  boarders  of 
mine  are  the  most  cantankerous  set  you  ever  laid  your  blessed  eyes 
on;  they  are  never  satisfied  with  the  food  they  get.  I  think  that 
some  of  them  want  chickens,  game,  and  all  the  delicacies  of  the 
season,  and  all  for  their  paltry  three  dollars  per  week;  but  they  may 
want,  for  they  won't  get  any  out  of  me.  I  give  them  good,  solid 
and  substantial  hash  for  every  meal,  and  them  as  don't  like  it  can 


44  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

leave  it.  They  say  they  don't  know  how  it's  made — it's  none  of 
their  business.  I  make  it,  and  I've  got  to  make  money  by  it,  and  I 
mean  to  do  so.  I  shall  soon  be  able  to  build  me  a  nice  country 
mansion  with  the  money  I  am  making  out  of  hash,  and  then  I  s'uill 
be  respected  for  my  money;  so  I  don't  mind  how  I  am  abused  now. 
Well,  here's  their  dinner  all  ready  and  getting  cold,  and  none  of 
them  come  yet.  That's  always  the  cise;  if  I  am  a  little  late,  then 
they  all  come  trooping  in,  and  say  they  are  in  the  greatest  hurry  in 
%\ie  world.  Then  the  next  day,  if  I  get  dinner  earlier,  they  all  come 
in  late,  and  drop  in  one  by  one.  Oh  !  I  do  wish  they  would  come. 
I've  got  the  nicest  dinner  to-day  they  ever  had,  and  now  none  of  them 
will  come  until  it  is  cold.  Well,  it  will  serve  them  right,  and  make 
them  more  punctual  the  next  time.  Ah !  there  goes  the  do<>r; 
that's  Mr.  Skinflint;  I  hate  him;  he  always  wants  to  know  how  I 
make  my  hash."  The  president  comes  in  from  the  side,  and  says  : 
"  Well,  Mrs  Stintera,  what  have  you  got  for  dinner  to-day  ?"  She 
curtseys,  and  says:  "Some  very  nice  hash."  He  throws  up  his 
hands  in  horror,  and  exclaims  '•  Hash  !"  and  jumps  over  the  light. 
She  looks  after  him,  and  says  :  "  Well,  did  you  ever?"  Then  Mr. 
Dobson  enters  from  side,  and  says:  "  Good  day,  Mrs.  S  intern. 
What  have  we  got  for  dinner  to-day?"  She  says  :  "  Some  very 
nice  hash."  Ho  throws  up  his  arms,  exclaims,  "Hash!"  puts  his 
fingers  to  his  nose,  and  jumps  over  the  light.  Then  Mr.  Grizzle 
enters,  and  says  :  "  How  do  you  do,  Mrs.  Stintem  ?  Have  you  got 
a  nice  dinner  to-day  ?"  She  says  :  "  Yes,  sir;  I've  got  some  very 
nice  hash."  He  throws  up  his  hands  in  terror,  and  says  :  "  Hash  !" 
shakes  his  head,  and  says  :  "  No  you  don't,"  and  jumps  over  the 
light.  She  says:  "I  am  astonished."  Then  another  boarder 
comes  in,  and  says  :  "  Well,  Mrs.  Stintem,  what  have  you  got  for 
dinner  to  day?"  She  says:  "I  have  got  some  rabbit  hash." 
He  whistles,  and  says:  "Rabbit  hash!  Pussy  hash,  you  mean. 
Meow,  wow,"  making  a  noise  like  a  cat,  and  jumps  over  the  light. 
She  says  :  "  Well,  was  there  ever  such  impudence  ?"  Then  a  very 
stout  boarder  comes  on,  and  says  :  ."  Ah  !  Mrs.  Stintem,  I  see  the 
dinner  is  ready.  What  have  you  got  good  to-day  ?"  She  says, 
very  sharply,  "  Hash  !"  He  rubs  his  hands,  and  then  his  stomach, 
and  says  :  "That's  the  stuff  for  me,"  and  he  sits  down,  and  she 
laddies  him  some  of  the  pudding  from  the  pail  into  his  plate,  and 
he  eats  ravenously,  and  gets  up  satisfied,  and  she  says  :  "As  the 
other  boarders  don't  want  any  dinner,  I'll  remove  the  table,"  and 
she  goes  off  with  the  table.  Then  the  fat  boarder  says  :  ' '  Well, 
I've  enjoyed  my  dinner  very  much.  The  other  boarders  tried  to 
fi-ighten  me,  and  told  me  not  to  eat  hash  to-day,  as  the  great  Thomas 
cat  of  Mrs.  Slintem  was  missing,  but  they  couldn't  friirhten  me; 
oh,  no.  I  like  the  hash  to-day;  it  has  a  better  flavor,  and  I  feel  much 
better  after  it.  In  fact,  I  feel  as—"  he  puts  his  hand  to  his  stomach 
as  if  it  aches,  then  feels  better,  and  walks  across  and  back,  then 
claps  his  hands  to  his  stomach,  and  again  says  :  "I  feel,  oh,  dear ! 
as  if  ten  thousand  cats  were  clawing  at  ray  internal  fixtures.  Oh, 
dear!  oh,  dear!"  and  accompanies  it  with  various  extravagant 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES.  45 

posf nres  of  pain  in  the  stomach,  and  calls  out,  "  Help  !"  Then  two 
of  the  other  boarders  jump  over  the  light,  and  ask  him.  "  Wh.it 
is  the  matter?"  He  can  only  say  :  '"  Oh,  de.tr  !  hash!"  and  clips 
iia  hands  to  his  stomach,  and  walks  about.  One  of  the  boarders 
tells  the  other  to  run  for  a  doctor,  he  nods  all  right,  and  jumps  •'•'iM 
the  light.  Then  the  other  boarder  sits  the  fat  man  in  the  cha.r 
and  tries  to  hold  him  down  in  the  chair,  but  he  keep-;  jumping  up 
and  crying  out :  "Oh,  dear!  oh,  dear  !"  Then  the  doctor  jumps 
over  the  liuht,  and  stands  and  contemplates  the  patient.  Then  with 
a  great  deal  of  pompous  preparation  looks  at  the  patient's  tongue, 
feels  his  pulse,  listens  to  his  stomach,  then  sits  him  down  in  the 
chair,  and  tells  the  other  boarder  ^o  hold  him  very  tight;  then  he 
takes  off  his  coat,  and  rolls  up  his  shirt  sleeve,  the  patient  kicking 
and  wondering  what  the  doctor  is  about  to  do.  'Ihen  the  doc: or, 
after  several  grotesque  flourishes,  seizes  him  by  the  hair,  and  puts 
his  arm  at  the  back  of  his  head  or  the  side,  so  the  shadow  will  look 
as  if  the  doctor  had  his  arm  down  the  patient's  throat.  Then  he 
works  his  arm  about  as  if  feeling  inside;  then  stands  off  and  slowly 
pulls  his  arm  away,  and  he  is  holding  a  small  live  kitten,  which  he 
has  pulled  from  the  sleeve  of  the- man  who  is  holding  the  patient's 
head,  and  the  doctor  pulls  it  from  beside  the  patient's  head,  1*0  as 
to  look  in  the  shadow  as  if  he  pulled  it  from  the  patient's  mouth, 
then  lets  it  go,  and  the  kitten  runs  off.  Then  the  patient  squirms 
about  again,  and  motions  pain.  Then  the  doctor  feels  down  his 
throat  au;ain,  and  expresses  wonder  at  what  he  has  caught.  Then 
he  pulls  out  a  large  c.it  from  the  side  of  the  pitient's  face,  (lhat  is 
away  from  the  audience,  and  it  will  look  as  it'  he  pulled  it  from  his 
mouth)  and  holds  it  up  in  wonder.  Then  he  lets  the  cat  run  Then 
the  patient  gets  up  and  feels  better.  Then  the  doctor  asks  for  his 
fee,  but  both  the  boarders  say  they  have  no  money,  and  cannot  p  iy 
him.  He  says  they  are  swindlers,  and  he  will  go  for  police. 
As  he  turns  both  men  kick  him,  and  he  jumps  over  the  light.  The 
two  boarders  laugh  at  him.  Then  the  other  boarders  come  on,  and 
one  says:  "Our  jnry  find  Mrs.  Stintem  guilty  of  treason  to  our 
stomachs  and  well  being,  and  each  and  all  bind  ourselves  to  carry 
out  the  sentence  of  the  court.  Ah!  she  comes  !  Away!"  Then 
they  all  jump  over  the  light.  Then  Mrs.  Stintem  comes  on,  and 
says:  '"I  thought  I  heard  some  one  call.  I  must  have  been 
mistaken.  Now  I  must  prepare  myself  to  go  to  the  bank.  I  shall 
not  need  any  more  from  the  market,  as  the  hash  that  was  left  at 
dinner  will  be  very  nice  for  supper  when  it  is  cold,  and  I  am  deter- 
mined they  shall  eat  it  every  bit  up  before  I  get  any  fresh."  Then 
the  boarders  all  jump  over  the  light,  and  beat  her  with  brooms  and 
brushes,  &c.,  and  seize  her  and  place  her  in  the  chair,  and  then  one 
of  them  says  :  "  Listen.  Mrs.  Stintem.  Our  conspiracy  has  con- 
demned you  to  eat  all  the  hash  that  was  left  at  dinner  time,  and 
hope  that  it  will  be  a  warning  and  lessen  to  you.  and  hope  in 
future  you  will  change  our  diet  at  least  twice  a  week.  Let  the 
sentence  proceed."  Then  one  holds  her,  and  one  goes  for  the  pail 
of  hash,  and  one  feeds  her  with  the  spoon  with  it,  she  eating 


46  SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 

it,  and  trying  to  talk,  but  they  force  it  down  her  throat,  and  she 
talks  as  if  she  was  choking.  Then  they  all  laugh,  and  turn  the 
pail  over,  and  show  it  is  empty.  Then  they  put  it  over  her  head, 
and  let  her  go.  She  gets  up  and  tries  to  hit  or  kick  them,  and  they, 
to  avoid  her,  jump  over  the  light,  and  she  pursues  them  with  the 
pail  still  over  her  head. 


HERCULES  ;   OR,  THE  MECHANICAL  STATUE. 
•    * 

The  accessories  needed  to  render  this  performance  complete  are, 
a  pedestal  or  raised  platform,  about  four  feet  long  and  two  feet 
wide,  and  six  inches  high  in  front,  and  at  the  back  about  two  inches 
high,  with  four  flat  trunk  castors  on  the  bottom,  and  a  rope  attached 
to  it  to  pull  it  on,  with  a  man  on  it.  A  large  club  for  statue.  A 
round  profile  globe,  about  two  feet  six  inches  in  diameter,  for  Atlas. 
A  Roman  sword,  shield,  and  helmet.  A  Jew  nose  and  beard  for 
Charles,  and  a  snuff-box  for  Fuzby.  A  large  sledge-hammer  and  a 
crow-bar  can  both  be  made  of  wood.  Letter  for  Charles. 

This  comical  pantomimic  farce  is  commenced  by  Charles  and  Tim 
jumping  over  the  light.  Tim  says  :  "  No,  sir,  I  won't  do  it.  I  tell 
you  it's  no  use."  Charles  says  :  "  Why,  you  are  vanquished  by  one 
little  rebuff."  Tim  says  :  "Little  rebuff!  didn't  I  don  the  petti- 
coats and  a  coal-scuttle  bonnet,  and  shave  off  my  handsome  whis- 
kers, and  try  to  get  into  old  Mr.  Granite's  house  to  give  your  letter 
to  his  daughter,  because  he  has  forbidden  you  to  go  near  h;r  ?  And 
wasn't  I  discovered,  laughed  at,  and  nearly  beaten  to  death?" 
Charles  says :  "Come,  come,  never  despair;  you  thought  to  pass 
for  an  old  woman,  and  hadn't  the  wit  to  act  up  to  the  part,  and  so 
effected  no  entry  into  the  old  sculptor's  house."  Tim  says  :  "  Oh, 
yes,  sir ;  I  effected  the  entry,  and  old  Mr.  Granite  effected" the  eject- 
ment, by  kicking  me  out."  Charles  says  :  "  No  matter  ;  Laura 
must  have  my  letter,  must  be  my  wife,  in  defiance  of  her  cross  old 
guardian.  Tim,  I  have  a  thought.  Listen  ;  it  was  your  clothes 
that  betrayed  you  the  last  time."  Tim  says  :  "True,  sir,  true  ;  I 
fell  a  victim  to  my  wardrobe  ;  many  a  great  man  has  had  the  like 
disaster."  Charles  says  :  "Well,  now,  you  shall  have  no  clothes 
at  all."  Tim  says  :  "  Sir  !"  Charles  says  :  "  I'm  serious  ;  I  mean 
you  shall  see  my  charming  girl,  and  be  a  statue  all  the  time."  Tim 
says  :  "  Impossible,  sir,  quite  impossible  ;  I  couldn't  stand  it ;  I 
know  I  couldn't."  Charles  says:  "Nonsense;  lean  get  you  a 
dress,  and  old  Granite  is  sand  blind,  and" — Tim  says  :  "  He  ought 
to  be  stone  blind  not  to  tell  the  difference  between  a  man  and  a 
statue  ;  but  pray,  sir,  if  I  am  to  be  a  sculpturesque,  what  is  it  to 
be?  What  marble  character  am  I  to  act?  Is  it  Cupid?  No; 
Cupid  was  a  boy  ;  but  no  lady  objects  to  Cupid  on  an  enlarged  scale. 
Cupid  and  his  bow  and  arrows — this  way  (imitating  the  position). 
Yes,  sir,  I  must  be  Cupid.  I  have  a  very  pretty  dimple  ou  my 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  4< 

cheek— that's  half  the  battle."  Charles  says :  "Cupid  will  never 
do  ;  let  me  see — you  shall  go  as  Hercules."  Tim  says  :  "  Heteules  ! 
Sir,  I  feel  the  compliment,  but  I'm  not  the  size  ;  take  me  out  of 
my  stockings,  and  I'm  but  five  feet  three,  and  I  can't  stretch  my- 
self into  a  hero  of  seven  feet  high  ;  'twon't  do,  sir  ;  'tisn't  the  size 
of  a  pocket  Hercules."  Charles  says  :  "  Yes,  Hercules  with  his 
club  ;  and  I  will  aid  you,  disguised  as  the  great  statue  repairer,  Mr. 
Isaacs,  the  Jew  ;  so  I  shall  dress  you  as  the  statue,  get  you  into  the 
house,  leave  you  in  the  studio,  where  you  must  take  advantage  of 
your  situation,  give  this  letter  to  Laura,  and  keep  the  old  man 
engaged,  while  she  and  I  run  off  to  be  married."  Tim  says  :  "  And 
the  reward,  sir  ?"  Charles  says  :  "A  hundred  dollars,  if  I  succeed." 
Tim  says  :  "  I  take  your  money,  sir.  A  hundred  dollars  for  rising 
to  a  giant!  I  can't  refuse  it,  when  so  many  giants  have  shrunk 
into  dwarfs  for  half  the  money  (recollecting  his  size).  But  no,  sir, 
the  joke's  too  plain  ;  'twill  never  do !  Though  Granite  is  a  fool, 
he's  not  such  a  fool  as — "  Charles  says  :  "Well,  then,  you  give  up 
the  hundred  dollars?"  Tim  says:  "  lam  desperate,  and  a  hun- 
dred dollars  will  be  a  balm  to  my  agitated  soul  ;  and  so,  so,  sir,  I 
will,  despite  my  inches,  be  Hercules,  the  king  of  clubs."  Charles 
says:  "Then  follow  me,  and  dress  for  the  part,"  and  he  jumps, 
over  the  light.  Tim  says  :  "  Dress  !  he  means  undress.  The  part ! 
I  wish  it  was  to  talk,  instead  of  being  looked  at.  Well,  with  all 
his  labors,  Hercules  hadn't  as  much  labor  in  being  Hercules  as  I 
shall  have  in  imitating  him."  Laughs  at  himself,  and  jumps  over 
the  light.  Laura  enters  from  the  side,  as  if  she  had  been  weeping, 
and  says :  "Another  day  has  passed,  and  still  no  news  of  my  be- 
loved Charles.  And  to  be  thus  persecuted  by  that  odious  Mr. 
Granite,  my  guardian,  who  is  continually  asking  me  to  marry  him  ; 
but  I  shall  never  love  any  but  Charles  Oh,  love  !  love !  what  a 
mischievous  rogue  art  thou  !"  Then  Charles  enters  over  the  light, 
and  says  :  "Laura!  (they  embrace).  The  happiest  accident !  Passing 
the  house,  I  saw  your  jailer  leave  it ;  have  hither  flown  to  tell  you 
of  my  plan,  the  rarest,  the  most  ingenious^  boldest  device  that 
ever" — Mrs.  Rams  calls  on  the  outside:  "Laura!"  Laura  says: 
"My  mamma!  We  are  lost!  Fly,  or  you  will  be  discovered." 
Charles  says  :  "That  way  is  impossible  ;  that  leads  to  your  cham- 
ber." Looks  off  R.  H.,  says:  "Ha!  this  closet,"  and  runs  off. 
Laura  says  :  "No,  no,  not  there;  you  will  be  discovered  there." 
Mrs.  Rams  enters,  says  :  "  Now1,  Laura,  why  do  you  go  moping  and 
drooping#ftbout  like  a  veeping  villow,  when  you  know  I  want  to 
talk  to  you  about  your  prospects  with  Mr.  Granite  ?"  Laura  says  : 
"  My  prospects  ?"  Mrs.  Rams  says:  "Hasn't  he  a  perquisite  col- 
lection of  statues  ?  and  if  he  really  resists  in  his  attentions  to  you, 
who  knows  what  may  be  the  consequence  ?"  Laura  says  :  "  Mamma, 
-I'm  astonished  at  your  wishes!"  Mrs.  Rams  says:  "Nonsense, 
child  !"  It  would  be  my  pride  to  see  you  mistress  of  all  them  there 
statues.  Look  at  that  dear  little  Cupid  !  I  have  sanguinary  expec- 
tations it  will  one  day  be  yours."  Laura  says:  "Ne*ver,  I  hope, 
maimna.  Mr.  Granite  is  old  enough  to  be  my  father  ;  besides,  I 


48  SHADOW   PAKTOMIMES. 

have  no  wi=h  to  step  in  between  you  and  him."  Mrs  Rams  pays  : 
'•  Ridjfulous,  child  !  I  tell  yon  it  is  you  he  loves  to  extraction  ;  he 
told  me  >,o  when  we  were  in  Italy,  and  burnt  Bastiles.  I  remember 
t'.ie  time  well  ;  it  was  at  his  \\illa,  \\hen  it  was  so  hot  that  we  were 
obliged  to  sleep  in  the  open  air,  beneath  a  marquis."  Laura  says  : 
"  Marquee,  you  mean,  ma  amaiquee."  Mrs.  Rams  says  :  "Well, 
you  know  what  I  mean,  so  where' s  the  use  of  disposing  me.  But, 
as  I  was  paying,  if  you  will  only  take  Mr.  Granite,  he  is  ready  to 
sett'e  a  handsome  fortune  on  you.  and  to  give  me  a  bonassu*  of 
five  thousand  dollars  into  the  bargain.  Only  think  of  that!  Why, 
it  would  enable  you  to  have  a  comparisoned  horse  to  ride  upon." 
Mr.  Granite  enters,  and  says  :  "  Now.  rny  dear  Mi-s  Laura,  have 
you  made  up  your  ncind  to  accept  my  offer  ?"  Mrs.  Rums  says :  "I 
have  demonstrated  with  her  on  the  folly  of  dejecting  the  proposi- 
tion you  have  done  us  the  honor  to  make  ;  but  I  am  sorry  to  say 
she  is  still  hankeiing  after  her  dear  Charles,  as  she  calls  him." 
Mr.  Granite  says  :  "You  see,  ma'am,  this  comes  of  your  telling 
that  spark,  that  sprig  of  lavender,  that  you  would  consider  of  his 
offer."  Mrs.  Rams  says  :  "  But  I  am  now  dissolved,  and  so.  Laura, 
once  for  all  I  tell  you" —  Laura  »-ays  :  "That  you  are  willing  to 
accept  Chailes  for  your  son-in-law,  dear,  good  mamma!"  Mrs'. 
Rams  says  :  "  No  ;  to  deny  him  the  house  altogether."  Granite 
says  :  "  The  fool  came  into  my  store,  and  laid  out  fifty  dollars  in 
Cupids  and  such  like.  (Laughs  )  i,la  !  ha  !  ha  !  he  may  come  upon 
the  same  terms  as  often  &£  he  pleases  ;  it  will  all  go  towards  the 
general  stock  when  we  are  married,  you  duck.  (Laughs.)  Ha  !  ha !" 
Laura  says  :  "  You  goose,"  and  cries.  Mrs.  Rams  says  :  "  Why,  I 
declare,  the  f-illy  girl  is  veeping  !"  Granite  says:  '•  Let  her  ;  it  is 
quite  refre.-hing  to  see  real  grief.  I  like  to  copy  from  nature  ;  if 
she'll  only  stand  in  that  position  five  hours,  I'll  fetch  a  block  of 
marble,  and  cut  an  original  Niobe."  Tom  enters,  and  Laura  pouts, 
and  she  and  her  mother  go  off  at  side.  Granite  says:  "Now, 
Tommy,  have  you  been  to  the  dealer?"  Tom  says  :  "  Yes,  sir, 
but  he  wain't  at  home  They  said,  sir,  that  they'd  send  the  statue 
of  Hercules  almost  directly."  Granite  says  :  "  Did  you  see  it,  Tom  ? 
is  it  well  repaired?"  Tom  says:  "No,  sir,  I  didn't  see  it;  but 
I'm  told  they've  made  a  capital  job  of  it."  Granite  says  •  "  Well, 
when  Mr.  Fuzby  comes,  show  him  to  me,  for  I  haven't  seen  him, 
yet.  The  fact  is,  Torn,  he's  a  fool,  and  knows  nothing  of  the  arts, 
and  the  statue  his  man  has  sold  me  is  very  cheap.  But  let  me  know 
the  moment  he  arrives,  and  see  that  the  Hercules  is  carefully  placed 
in  my  studio."  Charles,  showing  himself  on  one  side,  says  :  "  Now, 
then,  for  Mr.  Isaacs,  and  my  Hercules,"  and  he  jump*  over  the 
light.  Granite  says  :  '  Tom,  has  any  one  been  here  during  my  ab- 
sence ?"  Tom  says  :  "  The  agent.  sir,  for  his  four  statues."  Granite 
pays  :  "  And  not  one  have  I  obtained  !  What  did  you  tell  him  ?" 
Tom  says  :  "  Why,  I  made  him  believe  that  yon  had  them  all  in 
your  stu«lio,  and  that  you  were  so  particular  that  yen  wouldn't  let 
your  work  be  seen  when  it  was  only  half  done."  Granite  cays: 
"  Very  right ;  'twas  so  with  Michael  Angelo."  Tom  (says  :  "He 


6IIADOW   PANTOMTJIES.  49 

said  if  he  couldn't  have  them  all  to-night  that  he'd  withdraw  his 
commission,  and  ruin  you  outright."  Granite  says  :  "And  if  he 
should,  I'm  niftied  completely.  (A  loud  knocking  is  heard).  Run, 
Tom,  run  !  It  may  be  him  ;  if  so,  mind  I'm  not  at  home."  Tom 
says  :  "  Yes,  sir,  I'll  say  you  say  I'm  to  say  you  are  not  at  home." 
He  runs  off.  Granite  says  :  "  I  do  hope  it  is  not  him."  Tom 
enters,  says:  "Oh,  sir,  sir!  he's  come!"  Granite  says  :  "Con- 
fusion!" Tom  says  :  "  And  it's  so  beautifully  done'!"  Granite 
says:  '« Why,  what  are  you  talking  about?"  Tom  says:  "The 
Hercules,  sir  ;  it's  come."  Granite  says  :  "I'm  really  glad;  you 
go  help  get  it  up  stairs."  Tom  goes  off  to  help.  Granite,  looking 
off,  says  :  "  Take  care  there — take  care  !  it's  a  most  delicate  thing, 
though  it  is  a  Hercules.  (A  noise  outside.)  Mind  his  nose  against 
the  wall  !  I  wouldn't  have  his  nose  hurt  for  the  nose  of  Cresar  !" 
Then  Tom  pulls  the  statue  in  on  the  pedestal,  and  Charles  helps 
him.  Charles,  disguised  as  the  Jew  dealer,  says  :  "  Mind — mind, 
ma  tears!  Dere  he  is  ;  see  how  very  beautiful  he  looks."  Points 
to  Tim  as  the  statue.  Granite  rubs  his  hands  very  pleased,  and 
calls:  "  Mrs.  Rams  !  Laura!  come  and  see  the  Hercules.  (They 
enter.)  Look,  madam  !  See  what  a  noble  attitude  !  what  a  face, 
serene  in  conscious  strength!  Bless  me,  Mrs.  Rams,  what's  the 
matter?"  Mrs.  Rams  (sighing)  :  "  It's  very  foolish  to  give  way  to 
such  weakness  ;  but,  as  he  stands,  he  is  so  like  my  late  husband, 
he  seems  as  if  he  were  come  back  again."  Granite  says  :  "  Then 
I  don't  wonder  at  your  agitation.  Let  me  put  on  my  spectacles. 
(Does  so.)  Isn't  it  beautiful !  A  real  antique !  The  moderns 
can  do  nothing  like  that.  (To  Charles.)  Your  name,  sir,  is?"— 
Charles  says :  "  Isaacs  Solomons  Israel  Emanuel  Levy  Nathan 
Jacobs,  at  your  service,  ma  tear.  I've  mended  hish  leg,  and  brought 
home  te  goots.  'Tish  a  fine  antique  relic,  ma  tear."  Mrs.  Rams 
says  :  "  That  it  is,  a  fine  antic  relish  !"  Charles  says  :  "  Now,  ma 
tear,  it  ish  petter  as  new."  Granite  says  :  "You  have  done  the 
job  well,  humph  !  very  well ;  and  there's  the  ten  dollars"  (gives  it.) 
Charles  says  :  "  You  ought  to  give  me  twelve  ;  it  cost  me  as  moch, 
as  I'm  a  sinner,  and  hope  to  be  shaved  ;  (to  her)  didn't  it,  ma  tear  ?" 
Mrs.  Rams  (aside)  says  :  "The  imperence  of  some  people  is  abomin- 
able." Tim  sneezes,  coughs,  &c  ,  which  Charles  has  to  imitate,  to 
deceive  them.  Charles  says,  going  and  looking  at  Laura  :  "  Pless 
ma  heart !  vat  is  here  ?  ish  dat  a  statue  ?  vat  sail  I  give  you  for  it  ? 
You  sell — I'll  pay,  old  gentleman."  Mrs.  Rams,  indignantly,  says  : 
"Old  gentleman!  Is  this  your  Hebrew  breeding,  you  mendicant 
varlet,  you  ?  Mr.  Granite,  do  you  allow  him  to  result  you  in  this 
way?"  Charles  says  :  "  Beg  pardon  ;  but  that  young  lady  is  most 
beautiful.  (To  Granite)  Your  model  for  Venus,  I  suppose  ?"  Mrs. 
Rams  says:  "No,  fellow;  I'm  his  model  f6r  Wenus."  Charles 
(laughing):  "Ha!  ha!  ha!"  Tim  (laughing):  "Ha!  ha!  ha!" 
Charles  checks  Tim  in  this,  and  in  every  other  instance  when  he  is 
playing  his  pranks.  Granite  (to  Charles)  :  "  Rascal,  do  you  laugh 
at  'me  to  my  very  face?"  Charles  says:  "Rascal!  (laughs) 
ha  !  ha  !  ha !  You  are  de  pleasantest  old  fellow  dat  ever  I  did 


50  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

pusiness  wid  in  all  my  life — surprising  for  your  age  !"  Granit 
(angrily)  says  :  "  Where  is  my  cane  ?  (phasing  Charles).  Get  oux 
of  my  house,  or — (as  he  is  passing  Tim  strikes  him  with  the  club) — 
murder!  murder!"  Mrs.  Rams  says:  "What's  the  matter,  Mr. 
Granite  ?  you  look  pale."  Granite  says  :  "  I've  been  struck  by  an 
invisible  hand  in  a  most  mysterious  manner."  Charles  (a*ide)  says: 
"  Confound  the  fellow  !  his  tricks  will  spoil  all.  I  had  better  be 
off."  Kuns  off  at  side.  Laura  says  :  "  Ah,  you  look  quite  alarmed, 
sir  ;  I  declare,  you  tremble."  Granite  says  :  "  Enough  to  make  me. 
Didn't  you  see  that  old  clothes  man  affront  me  to  my  face,  and  beat 
out  my  teeth  behind  my  back  ?  I'll  go  and  give  information  ai 
the  police  station."  Laura  says:  "They  cannot  interfere,  sir; 
they  did  not  see  him  do  it."  Granite  (calls)  says  :  "Here,  Tom  ! 
Harry  !  Mary  !"  and  runs  off  in  a  rage.  Mrs.  Rams  says  :  "  Don't 
go,  dear  Mr.  Granite,  and  leave  us  with  this  great  ugly  statue  ! 
Oh!  oh!  look  at  its  eyes!  I'll  not  have  such  a  thing  near  my 
apartment.  Laura,  my  love,  don't  be  alarmed  ;  stay  here,  and  I'  11 
send  up  the  two  apprentices,  with  a  large  sledge  hammer,  and  they 
shall  batter  its  head  to  pieces-  (Calls) — Here,  Tom  !  Harry  !"  and 
she  runs  off.  Tim,  corning  down  from  the  pedestal,  says :  Well, 
that's  pleasant !  Luckily  the  old  fellow  thinks  master  struck  him  ; 
when  they  meet  they  will  have  a  jolly  row,  and  I  hope  the  best 
man  will  win.  Now  I  must  give  this  letter  to  Laura."  He  goes  up 
to  her  ;  she  sees  him  and  screams.  Laura  says  :  "A  ghost !  a 
ghost!  help!  help!"  and  faints  in  Tim's  arms.  Tim  says:  "Now 
I've  done  it ;  why,  'tis  only  I,  miss— 'tis  only  Tim  ;  confound  your 
squalling  !  it  would  serve  you  right  if  you  never  got  a  husband  !" 
Granite  (outside)  says:  "Hollo,  there!"  Tim  says  :  "  Oh,  the 
dickens  !  here  they  come  again  !"  He  runs  and  jumps  on  the  ped- 
estal, and,  in  the  hurry,  takes  the  club  in  his  left  hand,  and  changes 
his  position.  Granite  enters  hastily  :  "  What's  the  matter  ?  what's 
the  matter  ?' '  Laura  (recovering)  says  :  "Oh  dear  !  oh  dear !  I 
was  so  alarmed — left  alone,  you  know,  sir,  with  that  ugly  figure ; 
and  when  I  looked,  sir,  I — I" —  Granite  says  :  "  Fie,  miss  !  you 
have  betrayed  yourself.  You  couldn't  look  at  the  beautiful  statue 
while  your  mother  and  I  were  in  the  room,  but  must  take  a  sly 
peep  the  moment  our  backs  were  turned  !  (putting  on  his  spectacles.) 
Well,  I  don't  wonder  at  it ;  'tis  a  splendid  specimen  of  the  truly 
antique.  (While  he  is  looking,  Tim  takes  off  Granite's  wig.)  Ah  ! 
I  declare,  hewn  out  of  solid  stone  !  Flesh  and  blood  couldn't  look 
half  so  charming.  (Tim  laughs  and  rocks  about.)  But  eh  ? — what 
have  you  been  doing,  Laura  ?  The  statue  shakes  !  and  now  I  look 
at  it  again;  the  foot  is  brought  too  forward;  the  club,  too,  is  in  the 
left  hand  !  (Turns  to  Laura.)  Was  that  right?  (Tim  changes  the 
club  and  stands  right.  Granite  looks  at  hwn.)  How  stupid  I  am  ! 
It  is  right  enough!"  Tom  (enters)  says:  "Mr.  Fuzby,  sir,  has 
come  for  his  four  statues,  and  he  says  he  will  see  them  immediately." 
Tim  throws  the  wig  between  Tom  and  Granite.  Gianite  (to  Tom) 
Bays  :  "  You  rascal,  how  dare  you  take  my  wig  off?  (Beating  him.) 
If  ever  you  do  so  again—"  Tom  says  :  "I  never  touched  your 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  61 

wig."  Granite  says:  "Don't  lie,  sir !"  Tom  says  :  "Why  do 
you  hit  a  poor  boy  like  me  ?  Why  don't  you  beat  a  man  of  your 
own  size  ?"  Granite  says  :  "  Silence,  sir  !  Go  and  try  to  persuade 
Mr.  Fuzby  to  call  again."  Tom  says  :  "  He  says,  sir,  if  he  don't  see 
them  now  he'll  withdraw  his  custom."  Granite  says:  "Well, 
well,  you  stay  here,  and  I  will  go  and  pacify  Mr.  Fuzby,"  and  he 
goes  off.  Tom,  going  up  to  Tim  and  shaking  his  fist  at  him,  says  : 
"Oh,  my  fine  fellow  !  Harry  and  I  will  soon  smash  your  purty  face ! 
Missus  has  promised  to  reward  us  for  it.  Won't  it  be  fun  ?"  Then 
as  he  turns  his  back,  Tim  strikes  him  with  his  club.  Tom  roars  out, 
and  runs  across.  Laura  rushes  up  and  stands  in  attitude  before  Tim. 
Tom,  staring  at  her  in  astonishment,  says  :  "Were  that  you,  Miss  ?" 
Laura  says  :  "  Touch  it  not  at  your  peril !"  Tom  says  :  "  Oh  ! 
I'll  go  and  tell  Missus  !"  and  runs  off.  Laura  (to  Tim  as  he  descends 
from  the  pedestal)  says :  "Be  quiet,  or  you'll  ruin  all !  Here 
comes  Mr.  Granite  with  Mr.  Fuzby  for  his  statues.  Now,  couldn't 
you,  Tim,  contrive  to  represent  them?  There  are  all  the  things 
quite  ready  to  your  hand."  Tim  says  :  "  Well,  Miss,  to  oblige 
you  I'll  do  almost  anything."  Tim  reascends  the  pedestal.  Mr. 
Granite  and  Mr.  Fuzby  enter.  Granite  says:  "This  way,  sir. 
I'll  explain.  You  see,  my  dear  sir,  you  are  so  impatient;  you 
mustn't  calculate  upon  a  sculptor  as  you  would  upon  a  mason." 
Fuzby  says:  "The  four  statues,  sir — are  the  four  statues  for  my 
villa  done  ?  are  they  done,  sir  ?"  Granite  says  :  "  Yes,  sir;  that  is, 
sir — "  Fuzby  says  :  "  Then  where  are  they,  sir  ? — if  done  where  are 
they?"  Granite  says:  "When  I  say  done,  I  mean  begun.  I 
mean—"  Fuzby  says:  "  Very  well,  sir;  I  must  have  ocular 
demonstration.  Unless  I  see  the  figures,  I  withdraw  my  order.  In 
the  first  place,  where  is  my  Ajax  Defying  the  Thunder  ?  Granite 
says  :  "  Mr.  Fuzby,  upon  my  honor,  sir,  the  four  statues  are  all 
but  done;  they  are  in  the  niches  behind  us;  but  I  have  a  morbid 
dislike  to  exhibit  a  half-completed  work."  Mr.  Fuzby  says  :  "I'll 
bet  you  twenty  dollars  you  don't  show  me  Ajax."  Granite  says  : 
(aside.)  "What  shall  I  "do?"  Tim  looks  at  him,  says:  "Take 
it,"  and  puts  himself  in  the  position  of  Ajax.  Granite,  starting, 
says:  "Murder!"  Mr.  Fuzby  says:  "Zounds!  What's  the 
matter?"  Granite  says:  "The  statue!"  Fuzby  says:  "What 
statue  ?' '  Granite  (pointing)  say  s:  "  There !  there  !"  Fuzby  looks, 
gives  him  a  purse,  says:  "I  beg  your  pardon;  and  there's  the 
'twenty  dollars."  Looking  at  Tim.  "  Splendid  !  beautiful !  How 
life-like!  Mrs.  Rams,  entering,  says:  "Oh,  Mr.  Granite !  when 
did  you  do  that?"  Granite  says  :  "  Upon  my  word  I  don't  know  ! 
I'm  in  a  maze!"  Fuzby  says  :  "  Now  for  my  Gladiator;  can't  I 
see  my  Dying  Gladiator ?"  Granite  says  :  "Impossible."  Fuzby 
says  :  "  But  I  must  see  him."  Granite  looks  at  Tim,  says  :  "I 
don't  think  it  possible,  but — "  Tim  nods  assent,  and  Laura  gives  him 
the  helmet,  sword  and  shield,  which  Tim  puts  on,  and  assumes  the 
position  of  the  Dying  Gladiator.  ' '  If  you  will  have  patience  you 
can  see  it  on  the  pedestal  before  you.  Behold  I"  Fuzby  looks,  says  : 
"  Wonderful  \  wonderful  I"  Mrs.  Bams  says  :  "  Well,  I  never  saw 


52  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

a  dying  alligator  so  life  like  before."  Fuzby,  laughing,  says  : 
"  Not  done,  eh  ?  So  you  wanted  to  surprise  me  ?  Now,  then,  now 
for  my  Atlas  Supporting  the  World."  Granite,  looking  at  Tim, 
says  :  "  Let  me  see;  can  I  show  Atlas  ?  Is  it  sufficiently  forward  ?' ' 
Tim  says  :  "  All's  right,"  and  nods  to  him.  Granite  says  :  "Well, 
if  you  will  insist,  I  will  show  you  Atlas.  Behold  !"  Tim  is  holding 
the  profile  globe  like  Atlas.  Fuzby  looks,  says:  "Admirable! 
beautiful  !"  Mrs.  Earns  says  :  "  Is  that  Hatlas,  the  great  map 
maker  ?  It's  very  handsome;  but  why  do  you  give  him  such  a  stoop 
in  the  shoulders?"  Fuzby  says  :  "And  now  my  last  statue,  and 
then  the  contract  is  fulfilled.  Now  for  my  Venus  at  the  Bafh." 
Granite  says:  "To  be  sure,  to  be  sure!"  looking  at  Tim,  who 
shakes  his  head  in  refusal.  "Zounds!  Why,  the  fact  is,  I  assure 
you  Venus  is  not  very  forward."  Mrs.  Rams  says  :  "  Now,  for  my 
part,  I  always  thought  her  very  forward  indeed."  Laura  gives  Tim 
some  drapery  or  a  lace  curtain.  Granite  says  :  "  You  can't  see 
Venus."  Tim  looks  at  him,  and  nods,  says:  "All's  right!"  and 
takes  his  position  with  the  drapery  about  him.  Fuzby  says  :  "  But 
I  must;  there's  but  one  more,  and  I  must  see  that."  Granite  says  : 
"  Well,  if  you  say  you  must,  then  behold  your  Venus  !"  Points  to 
Tim.  Fuzby  looks  hastily,  says  :  "  That  Venus !"  Granite  says  : 
"Perfect — a  great  improvement  on  the  antique!"  Fuzby  says: 
"Well,  I  don' t  think  that's  so  very  happy;  however,  you  have  fulfilled 
the  contract,"  giving  notes.  "  There's  the  money — but  I  should 
like  another  peep;  let  me  see  them  altogether."  Granite  says  : 
"  No,  no;  you  shall  have  them  home  to-morrow."  Calls  :  "  Here, 
Tom  !  Harry!  open  the  door."  He  pushes  Fuzby  off,  and  goes  off 
with  him.  Mrs.  Earns  says:  "This  is  all  remarkably  strange! 
How  did  Mr.  Granite  obtain  these  statues  ?  There  was  not  one  here 
this  morning;  I  saw  none  enter  but  Hercules,  which  was  placed  in 
the  studio  here."  She  sees  Tim  moving  and  laughing  at  her;  she 
screams:  "A  ghost!  a  spirit,"  and  runs  off  at  the  side.  Tim, 
descending  from  pedestal  and  going  to  Laura,  says  :  "  Now,  Miss, 
I  think  it  is  our  turn  to  escape;  for  if  they  find  me  out  they  will 
pound  me  in  a  mortar."  Laura  says:  "  But  where  is  Charles  all 
this  while?"  Tim  says:  "He  is  waiting  at  the  confectioner's 
round  the  street;  doubtless  he  is  eating  ice  cream,  whilst  I  am  to 
be  beaten  to  a  jelly;  then  I'll  scream  too.  The  letter  I  gave  you 
will  tell  you  what  to  do."  Laura  says  :  "I  will  but  enter  my 
room,  and  ere  my  jailer  returns  away  and  join  him."  She  runs 
off  hastily.  Tim  says  :  "  Well,  I'm  in  a  pretty  fix.  I  can't  go  in 
the  street  in  this  condition;  and  so  must  wait  until  Charles  comes  to 
release  me."  Tom  (without)  says  :  "  Come  along,  Harry.  We'll 
soon  settle  Master  Hercules."  Tim,  ascending  the  pedestal,  says  : 
"  Oh,  you  will,  will  you  ?  Not  while  I  got  this  club  to  protect  my- 
self. ' '  (Enter  Tom  and  Harry  with  a  sledge-hammer  and  a  crowbar. ) 
Tom  says:  "Now,  Harry,  Missus  says  she'll  pay  us  well  if  we 
break  him  to  pieces."  Harry  says  :  "Oh,  crikey,  Tom!  I'll  bet 
you  two  to  one  I  fetches  his  noddle  off  at  one  blow  with  this  here 
crowbar."  Tom  says;  "Do;  I  means  to  have  a  fly  at  his  pins. 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  68 

"Oh,  good  gracious!  won't  I  split  'em!"  Harry  says:  "  Here 
goes  for  a  crack  on  his  sconse  !"  They  approach  Tim,  who  knocks 
them  down  with  his  club.  Tim  descends  from  the  pedestal,  and  moves 
forward  to  the  statue  music  of  Don  Giovanni,  and  then  he  walks 
Tom  to  right  and  Harry  to  left,  and  he  stands  in  center;  music 
stops,  and  the  clock  strikes  one.  Harry  says:  "Oh,  Lord,  oh, 
dear!  it  has  struck  one."  Tim  says  :  "  Yes,  and  I'll  strike  two." 
He  swings  the  club  over  his  head  and  knocks  them  down  on  each 
side.  Tom  says:  "Oh,  goodness  gracious!  master  has  turned 
Frankenstien,  and  this  is  the  monster  he  has  created  !"  He  starts 
at  them,  and  they  get  up  and  roar  out,  "  Murder  !  murder  !"  as  they 
run  off  on  each  side.  Tim  laughs  and  goes  on  the  pedestal  again  as 
Hercules.  Mr.  Fuzby  and  Granite  enter.  Mr.  Fuzby  says  :  "V/hut 
means  all  this  confusion  ? — your  doors  open  !  the  house  haunted  ! 
Where  is  the  arch  fiend?"  Granite  says:  "Didn't  you  see  it? 
(Points  over  his  back.)  Didn't  you  see  it  ?"  Fuzby  says  :  "  See 
it ! — see  what?"  Granite  says  :  "  The  devil;  he  was  here  but  just 
now."  Tim  groans.  "There's  an  infernal  groan!  Do  you  see 
nothing  now  ?"  Fuzby  says  :  "  No — yes,  I  see  your  statue  move." 
Granite  says:  "Be  careful.  Take  care  of  him,  of  Hercules. 
Fuzby  says:  "Bless  me!  it  must  be  a  very  great  curiosity." 
Granite  says  :  "Yes,  it  is  a  great  curiosity,  a  mechanical  statue." 
Fuzby,  taking  snuff,  says:  "Aye,  moves  on  wires,  I  suppose  ?" 
Tim  leans  over  and  takes  a  pinch  of  snuff  and  puts  it  up  his  nose, 
and  then  stands  in  attitude.  "Dear  me,  o.nly  think  of  the  perfec- 
tion of  human  ingenuity  !"  Tim  sneezes  .  "  Beautiful  articulation 
of  sound  !  How  nearly  an  approach  to  reality  !"  Tim  jumps  down. 
"  Actually  made  to  move  at  discretion  !  Excellently  managed,  and 
wonderfully  contrived."  Tim  walks  Fuzby  to  one  corner  and 


Fig.  17. 


54  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

Granite  to  the  other.  Granite  says  (aside):  "  "Tis  contrived  by  the 
devil  for  my  destruction!"  Fuzby  (admiringly)  says:  "Magical 
perfection  of  art!"  Tim  kicks  him.  "Heyday!  by  all  that's 
wicked,  'tis  flesh  and  blood  !  Call  in  the  police  !  Who  are  you  ?" 
Tim  says:  "Hercules,  old  biiffer  !"  Granite  (calling)  says: 
"  Here,  Tom  !  Harry  !  where  are  you  all?"  Tim  beats  Granite  and 
Fuzby  round  the  studio.  Then  re-enter  Tom  and  Harry.  Tim 
knocks  them  down.  Then  knocks  Mr.  Fuzby  down,  and  stands  over 
him  in  attitude  with  his  club  raised.  [See  Fig.  17.]  Then  re-enter 
Charles,  Laura  and  Mrs.  Earns.  Tom  and  Harry  sneak  off  if  there  is 
not  room  enough  to  show  them.  Charles  says:  "Hold,  Tim  !  spare 
poor  Mr.  Fuzby,  you  know  he  is  my  uncle."  Fuzby,  rising  in  sur- 
prise, says:  "  What !  my  nephew  and  Laura?"  Mrs.  Earns  says: 
"  Yes;  your  nephew  Charles  here  has  married  my  daughter,  in  spite 
of  the  strong  compunctions  I  laid  upon  her  not  to  do  so."  Granite 
says:  "Ah,  now  I  see  it  all!  (To  Charles.)  You  are  the  rascal 
of  a  Jew."  Charles  says,  in  his  assumed  voice:  "  Yes,  ma  tear,  I 
am."  Granite  says:  "  And  your  servant  is — "  Tim  bows  to  him, 
and  says:  "Hercules,  King  of  Clubs."  Then  Tim  sings  to  the 
tune  of  "The  Cure  :" 

"  Kind  friends,  pray  give  a  smile  so  bright, 

And  critics  spare  your  rubs; 
Pray  pardon  all  the  faults  to-night 

Of  Tim,  the  King  of  Clubs." 

Then  all  the  characters  sing  the  same  and  commence  to  jump  a  la 
Cure,  and  then  each  jumps  over  the  light.  Tim,  the  last  one,  keeps 
on  jumping  and  singing,  and  finally  jumps  over  the  light. 


THE  NEGEO  MINSTEELS  ;  OE,  THE  AFEICAN  SEEENADEES. 

This  can  be  made  a  very  pleasing  and  laughable  sketch  if  the 
intending  performers  can  sing  and  play  on  different  instruments,  or 
a  small  band  may  be  engaged,  and  the  performers  go  through  the 
action  of  playing,  and  all  that  is  required  is  the  instruments  and  four 
very  common  chairs,  as  small  as  possible.  The  performance  will 
need  to  be  rehearsed  until  the  performers  feel  perfect  and  confident 
of  success.  It  can  be  done  almost  ad  libitum,  the  performer  doing 
and  saying  just  as  he  pleases  to  make  up  a  good  pleasing  programme, 
and  one  that  will  harmonize  with  the  performer's  abilities  and  tastes. 
I  will  just  give  a  little  sketch  of  a  programme  of  the  songs  that 
might  be  sung,  and  also  some  stories  or  gags  that  might  be  told, 
laying  no  claim  to  originality  or  brilliance,  but  writing  them  just 
as  they  occur  to  my  mind,  and  only  offering  this  as  a  rule  or  guide 
to  other  programmes  that  the  performers  may  select.  In  an  ordi- 
nary sized  parlor  there  will  be  only  room  for  four  performers  on  the 
stage,  so  that  their  shadows  will  show  on  the  sheet.  These  can 
consist  of  a  leader,  with  his  violin,  a  flute-player,  and  a  man  with 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES.  55 

the  bones  or  clappers  at  one  side,  and  a  man  with  the  tamborine  at 
the  other  side.  These  last  two  are  called  the  end  men,  and  the 
jokes  they  tell  are  called  by  them  gags.  The  leader  can  act  as  the 
middle  man  or  interlocutor,  and  th.e  other  instruments,  composing 
the  band,  can  be  placed  back  of  the  light,  or  on  each  side,  where 
they  will  not  be  seen.  The  performers  must  sit  sideways  to  the 
light,  or  in  profile,  and  so  that  their  shadows  can  all  be  seen  as  if 
in  a  line  or  half  circle.  It  will  be  well  to  observe  the  diagram. 
[See  Fig.  18.]  The  performers  need  not  black  their  faces,  as  the 


1                                               ! 

SHEET. 

0 

1  °        TAMBORINE.                                       BONES. 

°l 

S                                                                                                            "* 

&d 

0                                      0 

|                              FLUTE.               VIOLIN. 

°s 
J 

i—  i  ° 

d 

PH                                                                        O 

^ 

8  o                                           LIGHT. 

o  £S 

5 

H 

b 

cc 

o       o        o       o 

OTHER  INSTRUMENTS. 

Fig.  18. 

shadows  will  show  black;  but  they  will  require  to  wear  large  bushy 
negro  wigs,  and  comical  looking  collars,  dress-coats,  &c.  It  can  be 
commenced  by  their  walking  in,  and  taking  their  places  by  their 
chairs;  then  the  man  with  the  tamborine  gives  it  a  rap,  and  all  bow, 
and  then  sit  down,  the  end  man  saying:  "  Good  evening,  white 
folks."  The  leader  says:  "We  will  now  commence  the  evening's 
entertainment  with  the  grand  introductory  overture  to  Martha  "  or 
to  *'Tancredi,"  after  which  he  says:  "  Well,  Mr.  Bones,  and  how  do 
you  feel  this  evening?"  He  says:  "Well,  Sam,  I  feel  putty 
scrumptious."  Then  the  leader  says:  "And  Mr.  Tamborine  how 
is  it  with  you,  sir?"  He  says:  "I  feel  bully."  Leader  says: 
"  Now,  we'll  have  the  opening  chorus,  '  Hail  Smiling  Morn,'  "  or 
"Down  the  River,"  after  which  the  leader  says:  "Well,  Bones, 
where  were  you  going  when  I  saw  you  this  afternoon?"  Bones 
laughs,  and  says:  "Did  you  see  me?"  Leader  says:  "Of  course 
I  did;  you  had  a  young  lady  on  your  arm."  Bones  says:  "  Did 
you  see  that  piece  of  calico  ?  Ain't  she  some,  eh  ?  I  was  going  to 
get  married  to  that  girl,  only  for  one  little  accident."  Leader  says: 
"Why,  what  was  the  accident?"  Bones  says:  "Well,  you  see, 
Sam,  when  I  was  courting  her,  I  thought  I'd  like  to  make  her  a 
very  nice  present;  so  I  went  to  the  store,  and  I  bought  her  the  nicest 


56  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

little  present  you  ever  see.  Can  you  guess  what  it  was  ?"  Leader 
says:  "A  gold  chain."  Bones  says:  "No."  Flutes  says:  "A 
bracelet."  Bones  says:  "No."  Tamborine  says:  "  I  know — a 
plate  of  hash."  Bones  says:  "Ain't  you  smart.  No,  gentlemen, 
it  was  neither  of  those,  it  was  a  beautiful  little  kitten  cat."  Leader 
says:  "Well,  that  was  a  very  nice  present,  especially  if  the  lady 
was  fond  of  pets."  Bones  says:  "  Of  course  she  was.  Wasn't  she 
fond  of  me?"  All  laugh.  "Well,  sir,  I  took  her  the  little  cat, 
with  a  nice  red  ribbon  round  its  neck,  and  she  was  so  pleased,  she 
took  the  cat  and  hugged  it,  and  I  thought  she  was  going  to  eat  it;  so 
I  called  again  in  a  few  days,  and  she  says  to  me,  says  she  : 
"  Augustus  " — that's  my  name — "  I've  christened  the  cat,  and  given 
it  such  a  pretty  name.  I've  called  it  Julia;"  at  that  I  busted  out 
laughing,  and  I  have  been  laughing  ever  since."  Leader  says:  "  I 
don't  see  what  there  is  to  laugh  at.  I'm  sure  Julia  is  a  very  nice 
name  for  a  cat."  Then  Bones  says:  "  That's  what  she  said;  but — 
ha!  ha!  ha! — I  couldn't  stop  laughing.  Leader  says:  "Why  should 
you  laugh?"  Bones  says:  "The  idea  of  calling  that  cat  Julia." 
Leader  says:  "  Well,  sir,  why  shouldn't  they  call  that  cat  Julia?" 
Bones  says:  "  Because  he  wasn't  that  kind  of  a  cat."  All  laugh. 
Then  leader  says:  "  Now,  Mr.  Bones,  you  can  sing  your  favorite 
song."  Then  Bones  sings,  "  I'd  Choose  to  be  a  Baby,"  with  chorus 
and  musical  accompaniment.  After  which  the  leader  says  to  Tambo- 
rine: "  Tambo,  I  hear  you  have  been  in  the  army."  Tambo  says: 
"Yes,  sir,  I  was  in  all  the  great  battles."  Leader  says:  "What 
regiment  did  you  belong  to  ?"  Tambo  says:  "  The  forty-eleventh — • 
the  last  in  the  field  and  the  first  out  of  it."  Leader  says:  "  Were 
you  ever  wounded  ?"  Tambo  says:  "  Yes,  sir;  J  was  always  in  the 
fight,  where  the  balls  were  the  thickest — under  the  ammunition 
wagon — that's  where  I  was  wounded."  Leader  says:  "Wounded! 
and  how  ?"  Tambo  says:  "  I  was  kicked  by  a  mule."  All  laugh. 
He  says:  "  You  needn't  laugh.  At  the  battle  of  Chickamauga  seven 
balls  peirced  this  manly  bosom."  Leader  says:  "Seven  balls! 
what,  cannon-balls?"  Tambo  says:  "No."  Leader  says:  "Musket- 
balls?"  Tambo  says:  "No."  Leader  says:  "  Kifle-balls  ?"  Tambo 
says:  "No."  Leader  says:  "Then  what  kind  of  balls  were  they  ?" 
Tambo  says:  "Codfish-balls."  All  laugh.  And  he  says:  "And 
I  could  stand  as  many  again."  Leader  says:  "Now  we'll  have 
the  song,  'Annie  Laurie.'  "  This  can  be  sung  by  the  leader  or  a 
voice  outside,  the  performers  on  the  stage  accompanying  it  with 
their  music.  After  which  the  leader  says:  "  Bones,  I  think  I  heard 
you  say  once  that  you  were  in  the  late  war  ?"  Bones  says:  "  Yes, 
sir,  I  was  dar."  Leader  says:  "  What  regiment  were  you  with  ?" 
Bones  says:  "I  was  with  the  five  hundred  and  ninth,  where  the 
colored  troops  fought  nobly."  Leader  says:  "  Well,  what  noble 
or  brave  action  did  ycu  ever  do?"  Bones  says:  "  What  did  I  ever 
do  !  why,  I  made  a  whole  regiment  run  !"  Leader  says:  "  What ! 
made  a  whole  regiment  run  ?  Why,  sir,  how  did  you,  one  single 
soldier,  make  a  whole  regiment  run?"  Bones  says:  "  Why,  I  ran 
away,  and  they  all  ran,  after  me."  Leader  laughs,  and  says  : 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  57 

"Was  that  the  only  brave  action  you  ever  done?"  Bones  says: 
"No,  sir'ee;  once,  when  I  was  out  as  a  scout,  I  came  across  three 
of  our  enemeses."  Leader  says:  "  Hold  up,  Bones,  enemies  you 
mean."  Bones  says:  "No  I  don't;  I  mean  enemeses.  I  know 
what  I  mean."  Leader  says:  "No,  sir;  there  is  no  such  word; 
you  must  say  enemies  if  there  were  more  than  one."  Bones  says: 
"Now  look  here,  if  there  is  one  you  say  enemy,  don't  you?" 
Leader  says:  "  Yes."  Bones  says:  "  And  if  there  is  two,  you  say 
enemies,  don't  you?"  Leader  says:  "Yes."  Bones  says:  "Well, 
then  if  there  is  three,  you  must  say  enemeses."  All  Jaugh.  "Well, 
sir,  as  I  was  saying,  I  met  these  three  enemeses,  and  drawing  my 
sword  quickly  from  the  scabbard  I  cut  off  their  legs  off."  Leader 
says:  "Cut  their  legs  off!  why  didn't  you  cut  their  heads  off?" 
"  Bones  says:  "Some  one  had  been  there  before  and  saved  me  the 
trouble."  All  laugh.  Leader  says:  "  Now,  Mr.  Tambo,  we'll  have 
a  comic  song  from  you,  called  '  Matilda  Baker.'  "  Tambo  then  sings 
the  song,  with  chorus  and  musical  accompaniment.  After  which 
leader  says:  "  Tambo,  I  understand  you  are  a  very  good  scholar." 
Tambo  says:  "Yes,  sir;  ask  me  something  hard."  Leader  says: 
"  Well,  sir,  can  you  tell  me  what  is  a  focus  ?"  Tambo  says:  "  Oh, 
ask  me  something  hard,  anybody  knows  that."  Leader  says: 
"  Well,  sir,  if  you  know  what  a  focus  is,  please  to  tell  the  ladies  and 
gentlemen."  Tambo  says:  "  Why  a  focus  is  a— is  a— place  where 
they  raise  calves."  Leader  laughs  and  says:  "  Raise  calves  !  non- 
sense !  I  thought  you  didn't  know.  No,  sir;  a  focus  is  a  place 
where  the  rays  meet."  Tambo  says:  "  Well,  ain't  calves  meat?" 
Leader  laughs,  and  says:  "Well,  you  are  right  in  your  way." 
Tambo  says:  "When  my  teacher  heard  me  give  that  answer  he 
squoze  my  hand."  Leader  says:  "  You're  wrong;  he  squeezed 
your  hand  you  mean."  Tambo  says:  "No,  sir;  he  squoze  my 
hand  I  mean,  and  I'll  prove  it."  Leader  says:  "  Well,  sir,  how 
will  you  prove  it?"  Tambo  says:  "Well,  sir,  don't  you  say, 
when  you  are  talking  of  the  grammar  of  rising  up  in  the  morning, 
rise,  rose,  risen ?"  Leader  says:  "Yes."  Tambo  says:  "Well, 
haven't  I  got  a  right  to  say,  squeeze,  squoze  and  squizen  ?"  All 
laugh.  Leader  says:  "  Now  we'll  have  the  Sleigh-ride  Song  and 
chorus."  Each  end  man  sings  a  verse,  and  all  join  in  for  the 
chorus.  Use  sleigh-bells  for  the  jingling,  and  common  torpedoes 
for  the  imitation  of  the  whip*cracking.  After  which  Bones  says: 
"  I  don't  like  sleigh-riding,  it's  too  cold.  Give  me  a  nice  comforta- 
ble seat  in  the  cars.  What  do  you  say  boys  ?  let's  all  take  a  trip  on 
the  cars  to  Philadelphia?"  Leader  and  others  say:  "All  right. 
All  aboard  the  cars."  Then  the  music  strikes  up  the  Railroad 
Gallop,  with  imitations  of  the  bell  for  the  start.  Conductor  sings 
out,  all  aboard,  whistle  blows,  and  an  imitation  of  the  cars  in 
motion  is  made  by.  rubbing  a  piece  of  iron  on  a  piece  of  sheet-iron 
to  the  motion  of  the  engine.  The  men  on  stage  lean  back  in  their 
chairs,  as  if  asleep,  and  rock  about  as  if  by  the  motion  of  the  cars. 
Then  the  conductor  comes  in  with  his  lantern  and  takes  the  tickets. 
Then  all  sleep  and  rock  about  again  harder  than  before.  Whistle 


68  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

sounds,  gong  strikes,  and  noise  of  an  explosion,  and  all  the  passengers 
tumble  over  their  chairs,  and  some  one  puts  something  in  front  of 
light  and  takes  the  light  off  sheet.  Then  all  get  up  and  move  their 
chairs  and  go  back  of  light;  then  move  screen  from  light;  then  let 
the  passengers  jump  over  light  and  fall  down  promiscuously  on  top 
of  one  another;  then  put  out  the  light. 


i 


THE  CHAMPIONSHIP  MATCH  ;  OR,  THE  MODEL  PRIZE  FIGHT. 

This  requires  the  following  properties  :  A  pair  of  boxing-gloves  ; 
two  large  quart  bottles  ;  two  large  sponges  ;  and  regular  prize-ring 
costume  for  the  two  pi'incipals. 

I  do  not  wish  to  be  thought  an  advocate  for  introducing  the  prize- 
ring  into  the  parlor,  or  of  having  fathers,  sons,  and  brothers  prac- 
ticing how  they  can  pummel  each  other  about,  with  the  intention 
of  aspiring  to  the  chief  honors  of  the  prize-ring,  or  magic  circle,  as 
it  is  sometimes  called  ;  but  there  is  so  much  humor  in  the  follow- 
ing sketch,  that  the  temptation  was  too  great  to  resist,  and  then 
such  ridiculous  antics  cati  be  indulged  in,  that  will  convulse  your 
audience  with  laughter,  and,  I  hope,  obtain  a  pardon  for  me  for 
introducing  a  subject  that  many  might  object  to.  This  can  be 
commenced  by  having  the  four  corner  pieces  of  pasteboard  on  the 
sheet,  in  order  to  make  the  circle  or  moon,  the  same  as  in  the 
Madcap  Barber,  or  the  Amputation  Extraordinary,  which  you  can 
refer  to  for  explanation ;  and  when  the  sheet  is  properly  illumin- 
ated, let  one  of  the  principals  and  his  second  jump  over  the  light, 
and  stand  near  the  sheet ;  then  the  second  slaps  the  other  one  on 
the  back,  and  says  :  "  Well,  we  are  here  first ;  that  is  one  point 

§ained.  The  stringent  laws  against  prize-fighting  in  the  United 
tates  have  driven  the  boys  off,  until  now  they  have  not  a  place 
there  where  they  can  amuse  themselves  in  the  manly  art  of  self- 
defense  ;  but,  luckily,  when  your  match  was  made,  I  bethought  me 
of  this  place,  where  there  are  no  such  laws,  and  where  people  can 
do  and  talk  as  they  please  ;  so  here  we  are  in  the  moon,  with  the 
man  in  the  moon's  permission,  and  we  can  fight  it  out  here  without 
interruption.  What  says  my  manly,  muscular  friend  ?  are  you 
ready?"  Then  principal  says:  "Yes,  sir,"  and  throws  himself 
into  various  fighting  attitudes.  "  I  only  wish  he  was  here  now  ; 
I'd  show  him  how  I'd  pummel  him  to  a  jelly.  Oh,  where  is  he  ? 
why  don't  he  come?"  and  he  jumps  about  and  gets  excited,  and 
throws  himself  into  all  sorts  of  positions,  wants  to  fight  his  second, 
&c.  Then  his  second  says:  "  You  want  to  see  your  antagonist 
very  bad,  do  you  ?  Well,  you  will  soon  have  your  wish  gratified, 
for  there  he  comes  down  the  hill  over  there.  Look  !"  and  he  points 
off  at  right  side.  Principal  says  :  "  Where  is  he?  where  is  he?" 
His  second  points  over  to  the  right  side.  Then  principal  says  : 
"  Let  me  go  and  get  at  him,"  and  he  goes  over  to  the  right  side  ; 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  59 

then  he  turns  and  walks  off  the  other  way,  saying  :  "Where  is  he  ? 
where  is  he  ?"  His  second  calls  out  :  "  Here  !  you  are  going  the 
wrong  way.  Come  back  !  Not  that  way  !  not  that  way  !"  and  he 
runs  off  after  him.  Then  the  other  principal  and  his  second  enter 
(to  make  a  distinction  now  I  will  call  these  gentlemen  fighter  No. 
2  and  second  No.  2,  the  others  by  No.  1)  by  jumping  over  the  light, 
and  crying  out :  "  Huzza  !  we  are  here  first  ;  we  have  got  them 
scared,"  and  both  laugh  very  heartily.  Then  fighter  No.  2  throws 
himself  into  various  fighting  positions  and  attitudes,  and  says  : 
"  For  the  last  three  weeks  I  have  been  studying  '  Boxing  Made 
Easy,'  and  '  Owen  Swift  on  the  Manly  Art  of  Self-Defense,'  and  I 
have  got  it  all  so  perfect,  and  with  the  assistance  you  have  given 
me  in  my  training,  that  I  feel  in  perfect  health  and  strength,  and 
able  to  wrest  the  belt  from  forty  such  fellows  as  him  who  challenged 
me.  Oh,  I  only  wish  he  was  here  now  ;  I'd  soon  cook  his  mutton 
for  him."  Second  No.  2  says  :  "  Well,  we  have  arrived  here  first, 
and  the  time  is  nearly  up,  and  if  your  opponent  does  not  arrive  at 
the  stipulated  time,  I  shall  claim  the  stakes  without  a  fight,  only 
that  would  be  too  bad  to  have  to  go  home  without  the  satisfaction 
of  a  little  set-to."  Fighter  No.  2  says  :  "  No,  sir,  not  if  I  know  it. 
I  came  here  to  fight — I  want  to  fight — I  must  fight  somebody. 
Why,  I'm  spoiling  for  a  fight,  and  if  he  don't  come  I'll  fight  you, 
or  any  one  else  that  will  step  into  the  magic  circle."  And  he  throws 
himself  into  all  sorts  of  fighting  attitudes.  Second  No.  2  says  : 
"Well,  I'm  glad  you  are  so  anxious  to  fight;  for,  look  there  ! 
(points  off  left)  there  is  your  opponent  coming  on  like  mad,  and 
vengeance  in  his  eyes,  and  looks  for  all  the  world  as  if  he  would 
crush  any  one  that  opposes  him."  Fighter  No.  2  says  :  "  Is  he 
coming  ?  where  ?  where  is  he  ?  Let  me  get  at  him  !  I  can't  wait ; 
let  me  tear  him  to  pieces  !  I'll  go  and  meet  him  half  way."  And 
he  walks  over  to  the  side  that  second  No.  2  pointed,  then  makes  a 
quick  turn,  and  goes  off  the  other  side  running,  and  saying  :  "  Let 
me  get  at  him  !"  Second  No.  2  says  (calling  after  him  :  "  No  ! 
no  !  here,  come  back  !  not  that  way,"  and  he  runs  after  him.  Then 
fighter  No.  1  runs  in,  followed  by  his  second,  and  says:  "  Where 
is  he?  I  have  been  looking  all  about  here,  and  can't  find  him. 
I'll  make  him  suffer  for  this.  Oh,  only  wait  till  I  get  hold  of  him, 
won't  I  pummel  him  ?"  Then  he  throws  himself  into  various 
attitudes,  strikes  out,  and  jumps  about  as  if  he  was  fighting.  Then 
second  No.  1  says  (aside):  "I'll  fool  him  this  time."  Then  to 
fighter  No.  1  he  says:  "Look,  there  he  is  now;  go  for  him." 
Then  fighter  No.  1  goes  to  the  side  that  he  pointed,  and  then  turns 
and  goes  off  the  other  way,  when  he  meets  fighter  No.  2  coming 
on;  both  the  fighters  go  to  run  away,  but  their  seconds  catch  them 
and  stop  them  from  running  off,  and  tell  them  that*time  is  up,  and 
they  must  fight.  Both  appear  a  little  frightened  when  the  seconds 
call  out  time,  and  they  both  walk  to  the  center  and  shake  hands, 
(they  have  the  boxing-gloves  on.)  Then  fighter  No.  1  hits  the 
fighter  No.  2  in  the  face,  and  he  goes  crying  to  his  second,  and 
says:  "That  was  not  fair,  he  hit  me  first  before  I  was  ready." 


60  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

Second  No.  1  calls  first  blood  !  Fighter  No.  1  struts  about  as  if  he 
was  pleased  at  his  success,  and  second  applauds  him  and  calls  out 
time.  The  two  fighters  walk  to  the  center  and  commence  to  spar 
with  their  hands,  and  jump  away  from  any  intended  blows.  Then 
fighter  No  2  hits  fighter  No.  1  a  good  blow  in  the  head  and  knocks 
him  down,  and  he  feels  very  proud,  and  struts  about,  and  imitates 
a  rooster  crowing,  in  token  of  triumph.  Second  No.  2  calls:  "  First 
knock  down  !"  Fighter  No.  1  gets  up  by  the  aid  of  his  second,  and 
rubs  his  eye,  and  the  second  sponges  him  down,  and  gives  him  to 
drink  from  a  bottle,  which  he  takes  eagerly;  then  pours  some  from 
the  bottle  into  his  hand  and  rubs  it  on  his  eye.  Fighter  No.  2.  seeing- 
the  other  getting  refreshments,  asks  his  second  to  give  him  a  little  of 
that  eye- water.  His  second  laughs,  and  gets  a  bottle,  and  sets  him 
on  his  knee  and  gives  him  the  bottle,  and  he  drinks  out  of  it,  and 
says  he  feels  much  better.  Then  second  No.  2  stands  him  up  ready, 
and  then  calls  time.  Then  the  two  fighters  advance  to  the  center, 
and  keep  on  sparring,  without  any  attempt  to  hit  each  other,  and 
as  soon  as  one  makes  an  attempt  to  give  a  blow,  the  other  jumps 
back  out  of  reach,  and  dodges  and  strikes  around  as  if  fighting  with 
his  antagonist.  Then,  after  a  pause,  each  looking  at  the  other, 
and  sparring  a  little  bit,  they  advance  cautiously  to  the  center, 
and  after  making  two  or  three  blows  at  each  other,  they  clinch 
together,  and  then  pummel  each  other,  and  fall  down  and  roll  over, 
and  then  get  up,  when  fighter  No.  1  pushes  fighter  No.  2  away  from . 
him,  then  hits  him  a  powerful  looking  blow  in  the  stomach  and 
knocks  him  down,  and  his  second  comes  to  him  and  picks  him  up 
and  carries  him  to  his  own  side,  and  gives  him  the  bottle  to  drink 
as  he  sits  on  his  knee;  he  drinks  from  the  bottle  and  recovers  a 
little,  then  drinks  again,  and  rubs  his  stomach  with  the  bottle. 
Fighter  No.  1  goes  and  sits  on  his  second's  knee,  and  laughs  very 
loudly  and  heartily,  and  asks,  "  How's  that?  That  was  a  socdola- 
ger  !"  and  laughs  again,  and  says  :  "  I've  got  him  scared  now.  I 
don't  think  he  will  want  much  more  of  that  sort,  eh  ?"  Then  the 
second  offers  him  a  bottle,  and  he  drinks.  Then  the  seconds,  with 
the  large  sponges,  wipe  the  men's  faces  and  rub  their  bodies  down. 
Then  stand  them  up,  and  push  them  to  the  center  and  call  time. 
The  men  advance,  and  after  some  cautious  sparring,  and  jumping 
away  on  the  part  of  each  one  as  the  other  makes  a  blow  or  feint, 
they  close  together  and  have  a  regular  scuffle;  towards  the  end  they 
seem  to  get  tired  and  weak,  and  stop,  stand  up  and  push  the  other 
off.  and  each  man  hits  his  opponent  a  blow  in  the  head  at  the  same 
time  and  they  both  stagger  and  fall  back  in  the  arms  of  their  seconds, 
as  if  they  had  fainted.  The  seconds  take  the  fighters  on  each  side, 
and  give  them  drink  from  the  bottles  and  sponge  them  down  and 
try  to  make  them  stand  up  on  their  feet,  but  the  men  seem  too 
weak,  and  fall  all  loosely  on  the  floor.  The  seconds  pick  them  up 
again  and  hold  them  up  on  their  feet,  and  then  call  time.  The  men 
on  hearing  it  revive  a  bit,  and  the  seconds  push  the  men  up  together 
in  center,  and  leave  them;  they  both  stagger  about  as  if  intoxi- 
cated, and  try  to  make  feeble  blows  at  each  other,  and  keep  putting 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  61 

their  fists  softly  in  the  other's  face.  Then  they  push  each  other 
away  and  stand  apart,  and  let  their  hands  fall  by  their  sides,  as  if 
they  were  too  weak  to  strike,  and  try  to  steady  themselves  from 
falling.  Then  they  look  up,  and  each  blow  at  the  other  with  his 
mouth,  and  both  fall  back  on  the  floor.  Then  the  seconds  each  pick 
up  their  men,  and  when  they  get  them  up  the  fighters  each  recover 
quickly,  and  then  turn  and  commence  to  beat  and  pummel  their 
seconds.  Then  after  a  time,  each  one  hits  his  friend  or  second  a 
severe  blow  behind  and  knocks  him  over  the  light.  Then  the  two 
fighters  look  up,  and  both  burst  out  laughing,  look  at  each  other  a 
few  seconds,  then  advance  with  their  hands  extended,  and  they  shake 
hands  and  embrace;  then  turn  and  take  arms  and  walk  across  as  if 
they  were  talking  very  confidentially  together,  when  some  one 
outside  calls  out  loudly,  "Police!"  and  they  both  get  to  center, 
and  both  jump  over  the  light  at  the  same  time,  and  still  arm  in 
arm. 


THE    MAGIC    CASK;     OR,    THE    INDUSTRIOUS    AND    IDLE 
APPRENTICE. 

The  properties  required  for  this  laughable  comic  pantomime  are: 
a  table  and  chair;  a  large  plate  full  of  small  pieces  of  bread,  about 
an  inch  square;  a  small  flour  barrel,  and  a  larger  barrel  with  one  of 
the  heads  out  and  a  very  large  bung-hole;  it  must  be  a  very  light 
barrel  so  a  man  inside  can  walk  about  with  it  on  his  head  (if  boys 
do  this  a  flour  barrel  will  be  large  enough  for  the  large  barrel);  two 
wooden  mallets,  and  two  pieces  of  wood,  made  like  the  irons  that 
coopers  use  for  knocking  the  iron-hoops  down  on  barrels  (these  we 
will  call  wedges);  a  short  candle  and  candle-stick,  and  some  sticks; 
a  bottle. 

JN".  B. — Each  performer  should  have  his  own  book  for  any  of  these  per- 
formances, so  that  the  parts  may  be  studied  at  home. 

This  is  commenced  by  what  theatrical  artists  call  a  discovery; 
that  is,  that  when  the  doors  are  opened,  or  when  the  light  is  thrown 
or  reflected  on  the  sheet,  the  performers  that  are  required  on  the 
stage  are  seen  or  discovered  there  as  in  a  picture— thus  :  The  chair 
and  table  are  near  the  center,  and  the  large  barrel  is  on  the  right 
hand  side,  and  the  smaller  one  is  on  the  left  hand  side;  the  clown, 
who  is  the  idle  apprentice,  is  asleep,  standing  beside  and  leaning  on 
the  large  barrel;  Humpy,  a  deformed  hunchback,  is  hard  at  work 
on  the  small  barrel — he  is  the  industrious  apprentice,  and  the  favorite 
of  the  old  man,  who  wishes  him  to  marry  his  daughter,  but  she 
objects  to  him  on  account  of  his  deformity,  and  because  sne  is  in  love 
with  the  handsome  young  man  who  lives  close  by,  and  comes  to  see 
her  as  soon  as  he  watches  the  old  man  leave  the  house  on  business. 
To  commence,  Humpy  is  working  hard  and  knocking -on  his  wedge 
as  if  he  was  knocking  the  hoops  down  upon  the  barrel;  then  he 


62  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

pauses  for  an  instant  to  wipe  the  perspiration  from  his  brow,  and, 
looking  up,  he  sees  the  clown  on  the  other  side,  leaning  on  the 
barrel  and  fast  asleep.  He  then  goes  over  to  him  and  taps  him  on 
the  shoulder  and  wakes  him  up,  and  in  action,  tells  him  to  go  to  work, 
as  the  old  man  will  soon  be  here,  and  will  beat  him  if  he  has  not 
done  enough  work.  The  clown  yawns,  and  tells  him  to  go  and  do 
his  own  work  and  mind  his  own  business,  and  leave  him  alone,  and 
that  he  doesn't  care,  he  does  too  much  work  for  the  pay  he  gets. 
Humpy  goes  to  work  on  his  barrel,  and  clown  laughs  at  him,  and 
motions  he  is  not  so  foolish  as  to  work  hard;  then  yawns  and  goes 
to  sleep.  By  this  time  Humpy  has  worked  once  round  his  barrel, 
and  motions  that  clown  has  gone  to  sleep  again,  and  he  will  go  and 
tell  the  old  man  of  it,  and  he  steps  lightly  off  to  the  side,  and  comes 
back  with  the  old  man  following  him,  and  points  to  the  clown 
asleep.  The  old  man  looks  at  the  clown  very  angrily,  and  motions 
to  Humpy  to  go  on  with  his  work.  He  does  so,  chuckling  to  him- 
self that  clown  will  get  a  beating  from  old  man.  Then  old  man 
goes  over  to  clown  and  looks  at  him  closely  and  motions  he  is 
asleep — gets  angry  and  slaps  the  clown  on  the  shoulder,  who,  being 
suddenly  woke  up,  commences  to  work  very  vigorously,  and  in 
striking  the  mallet  about  at  random  he  hits  the  old  man  with  it  in 
the  stomach,  and  he  motions  pain,  and  threatens  the  clown,  who 
then  apologizes  to  him,  and  the  old  man  motions  him  to  go  to  work. 
He  does  so,  and  the  old  man  goes  and  sits  at  the  table  as  if  in  very 
great  pain.  As  soon  as  his  back  is  turned  clown  laughs  at  the  old 
man  and  imitates  him,  and  walks  very  lazily  round  the  barrel. 
Then  looks  over  and  sees  Humpy,  and  motions  it  was  him  went  and 
told  the  old  man.  He  then  looks  over  and  accuses  him  of  it. 
Humpy  nods  his  head,  and  motions  he  did,  and  will  always  tell 
when  he  does  not  do  his  work.  At  this  the  clown  gets  angry  and 
shows  his  mallet  and  runs  to  hit  Humpy  just  as  the  old  man  is 
coming  to  speak  to  Humpy,  and  clown,  in  mistake,  hits  old  man  on 
the  head  and  knocks  him  down;  then  runs  over  to  his  work  very 
frightened.  Humpy  picks  up  the  old  man  and  puts  him  in  the 
chair,  and  old  man  rubs  his  head  and  threatens  clown,  and  says  he 
shall  not  have  any  supper.  Then  clown  cries  and  old  man  tells  him 
to  work.  He  does  so,  but  keeps  on  threatening  Humpy,  who  is 
working  on  the  other  side.  Then  old  man  motions  them  to  stop 
their  quarreling  and  go  to  work.  Then  bid  man  sits  to  table  and 
claps  his  hands,  and  calls.  Then  his  daughter  Lena  enters,  and  in 
action  asks  what  he  wants;  he  tells  her  to  go  off  and  prepare  the 
supper  and  bring  it  on.  She  bows  and  goes  off.  Clown  sees  her  and 
throws  kisses  to  her  as  she  goes  off,  over  the  old  man's  shoulder, 
which  the  old  man  hears,  and  raises  up  to  see  what  it  is,  and  clown 
throws  a  kiss  right  to  old  man's  face.  He  then  slaps  clown's  face 
and  kicks  him,  and  sends  him  to  work.  He  goes  to  work,  and 
Humpy  laughs  at  him;  he  threatens  him.  Lena  enters,  and 
seeing  him,  holds  up  her  finger  to  him,  and  he  stops  and  throws 
kisses  to  her.  Old  man  looks  up,  and  clown,  seeing  him,  goes  to  work 
very  briskly.  She  puts  a  large  plate  of  pieces  of  bread  on  the  table, 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES.  63 

and  also  a  bottle,  and  then  she  goes  off.  Old  man  calls  Humpy 
and  gives  him  some  of  the  bread,  and  motions  he  may  go  off  and 
sleep,  as  he  has  been  very  good,  and  pats  his  head.  Humpy  goes 
off,  and  old  man  calls  clown  up,  and  he  comes  to  the  table  quickly 
and  takes  up  the  bottle  to  drink,  when  the  old  man  takes  it  from 
him,  and  motion  it  is  for  me.  Clown  motions  he  wants  a  drink. 
Old  man  motions  him  to  go  off  to  the  pump  and  drink  water. 
Clown  motions  he  don't  like  it,  and  wants  something  to  eat.  Old 
man  gives  him  one  of  the  pieces  of  bread,  which  clown  holds  up 
between  his  thumb  and  finger  and  looks  at  it,  shades  his  eyes,  &c., 
then  throws  up  the  bread  like  a  ball  and  hits  it  with  his  mallet  and 
knocks  it  over  the  light,  and  presses  in  his  stomach,  then  reluctantly 
goes  to  work.  Old  man  eats  as  much  of  the  bread  as  he  conveniently 
can,  and  leaves  a  few  pieces  on  the  dish,  then  rubs  his  stomach  as 
if  he  felt  very  much  refreshed,  and  goes  over  to  the  small  barrel 
and  takes  up  the  mallet  and  wedge  used  by  Humpy  and  commences 
to  work  on  the  barrel.  As  he  works  around,  clown  runs  to  the  table 
and  steals  a  piece  of  bread,  and  puts  it  in  his  mouth  and  runs  back 
to  his  work  laughing  and  eating,  and  as  the  old  man  works  round 
again,  clown  again  goes  to  the  table,  but  as  he  goes  he  keeps  beating 
on  the  wedge  in  his  hand,  and  as  he  goes  to  take  bread  with  one  hand 
he  beats  on  the  table  with  his  mallet,  and  takes  bread  and  puts 
several  pieces  in  his  mouth,  and  goes  back  to  his  barrel,  hitting  on 
the  wedge  all  the  time.  Old  man  is  working  round  and  sees  clown 
walking  from  the  table  and  eating;  he  suspects  clown  of  stealing, 
and  he  motions  he  will  watch  him.  He  goes  to  work  again.  Clown 
looks  over  and  laughs,  and  goes  to  table  again,  and  is  about  taking 
bread,  when  old  man  goes  up  and  hits  on  the  table  with  the  mallet, 
near  to  clown's  fingers.  He  jumps  about,  shakes  his  hand  and  puts 
his  finger  in  his  mouth  and  motions  pain.  Old  man  sends  him  to 
work  again,  and  he  moves  the  table  over  to  one  side.  Then  old 
man  calls  clown  and  tells  him  to  go  off  and  fetch  his  coat,  hat  and 
cane.  Clown  asks  for  a  repetition  of  the  order,  and  the  old  man 
gets  angry,  and  gives  him  a  kick  and  he  jumps  over  the  light.  Then 
the  old  man  moves  the  table  over  to  one  side,  and  then  claps  his 
hands,  and  clown  jumps  back  again  over  the  light  with  old  man's 
hat  on  his  head  and  his  coat  and  cane  in  his  hands.  Clown  throws 
the  cane  down  on  old  man's  toes,  and  he  motions  pain  and  threatens 
clown,  who  holds  up  his  coat,  and  old  man  puts  one  arm  in  the 
sleeve,  and  the  clown  puts  his  arm  in  the  other  sleeve,  and  they 
both  knock  together.  Old  man  hits  clown,  and  he  pulls  his  arm  out 
and  puts  the  coat  on  at  the  back.  Then  turns  old  man  round  and 
catches  the  coat  by  the  collar  and  lifts  it  up  two  or  three  times, 
and  finally  lifts  the  old  man  off  his  feet  and  throws  him  down  on 
his  face,  and  laughs.  The  old  man  raps  on  the  floor  for  clown  to 
come  and  pick  him  up,  and  he  does  so,  and  gives  the  old  man  his 
cane  to  lean  on,  and  as  the  old  man  is  leaning  on  it,  clown  kicks  it 
at  the  bottom,  and  the  old  man  falls  on  his  face.  Clown  laughs  at 
him,  and  turns  away  in  order  to  enjoy  his  mirth.  The  old  man 
gets  up,  and  seeing  clown  laughing  at  him,  he  beats  him  on  the  back 


64  SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 

with  his  stick,  and  clown  turns  and  apologizes.  Old  man  asks  for 
his  hat,  and  clown  looks  about  for  it,  and  motions  he  cannot  see  it. 
Old  man  takes  his  hand  and  puts  it  upon  the  hat  on  his  head. 
Clown  laughs,  takes  it  off  and  gives  it  to  the  old  man,  who  puts 
it  on,  and  motions  to  clown  for  him  to  follow  him,  and  he  goes  off. 
The  clown  watches  him  off,  and  looks  at  the  table,  and  says  he  will 
go  and  steal  some;  as  he  goes  to  it  the  old  man  comes  back,  and 
seeing  him  stealing,  says,  "  Ah  !"  and  clown  stops  and  dances  where 
he  is.  Old  man  calls  him  and  tells  him  to  follow  him.  He  nods 
yes,  and  old  man  walks  off,  and  clown  follows  him  until  he  gets  to 
the  side,  then  he  turns  and  runs  back  to  the  table  and  steals  some 
bread,  and  is  cramming  it  in  his  mouth  when  old  man  comes  back, 
and,  seeing  clown,  hits  him  on  the  back,  and  accuses  him  of  eating. 
Clown  in  action  denies  it  and  shows  his  cheek,  all  swollen  with 
the  bread  he  has  in  his  mouth,  and  intimates  he  has  much  pain 
with  the  toothache.  Old  man  motions  he  is  sorry,  and  for  him  to 
follow  him.  Old  man  goes  off;  clown  goes  to  follow,  but  then  turns 
and  laughs  and  eats  the  bread  he  has  in  his  mouth,  and  then  goes 
over  to  the  table  and  steals  all  the  bread  and  puts  it  in  his  pocket, 
and  runs  off  after  the  old  man.  Then  as  soon  as  they  are  gone, 
Walter  jumps  over  the  light  and  motions  he  has  come  to  see  the 
girl  he  loves,  and  claps  his  hands  three  times,  and  Lena  enters, 
and  they  embrace,  and  he  tells  her  he  watched  her  father  go  out, 
and  then  he  came  to  see  if  she  would  run  away  with  him  and  get 
married,  and  he  shows  her  a  purse,  and  she  runs  to  him  and  they 
embrace  and  kiss.  Then  Humpy  enters,  and  parts  them,  and  says 
they  have  been  kissing  and  he  will  tell  the  old  man,  and  he  goes 
to  go  off.  They  pull  him  back,  and  ask  in  action  for  him  not  to 
tell.  He  motions  give  me  money  and  I  will  not.  Walter  gives  him 
some  money  from  the  purse,  and  he  goes  to  go  off,  and  the  lovers 
embrace  and  kiss  again,  and  Humpy  returns  and  demands  more 
money.  Walter  motions  he  paid  him  once  and  he  will  not  pay  him 
again.  Then  Humpy  runs  off  after  the  old  man.  Then  Lena  gets 
afraid  that  he  will  be  discovered,  and  tells  him  to  hide  somewhere. 
He  goes  to  run  off,  but  she  pulls  him  back  and  motions  him  to  get 
in  the  large  barrel;  she  turns  the  barrel  down  and  he  gets  in  it, 
and  she  puts  the  barrel  upright,  with  the  head  that  is  in  up.  Then 
she  runs  off.  Then  old  man  enters  with  Humpy,  who  motions  to 
him  that  Lena  and  her  lover  were  here  kissing.  Old  man  motions 
he  is  good  because  he  has  told,  and  motions  that  he  can  go  to  bed 
and  he  will  watch.  Humpy  goes  off,  anrl  Lena  enters,  and  her  father 
motions  her  to  go  off  and  go  to  bed,  but  she  wants  to  stay  where 
she  is,  but  the  old  man  after  some  trouble  pushes  her  off.  Then 
turns  and  claps  his  hands,  and  the  clown  enters,  and  he  tells  him  to 
go  to  work  on  the  large  barrel.  Clown  motions  he  wants  to  go  to 
sleep,  but  the  old  man  tells  him  to  work.  Old  man  moves  the 
table,  and  in  doing  so  he  sees  all  the  bread  is  gone,  and  motions 
that  clown  dono  it,  and  threatens  him.  Clown  stands  by  the  barrel, 
and  Walter  hits  clown  on  the  leg  by  putting  his  arm  out  of  the 
bung-hole  and  pulling  his  arm  back  quickly.  Clown  looks  round 


SHADOW   PANTOMIMES.  65 

to  see  who  done  it,  and  as  old  man  enters  he  gives  him  a  slap  in  the 
face,  and  accuses  him  of  hitting  him  on  the  leg.  Old  man  denies 
it,  and  tells  him  to  go  to  work;  and  he  does  so,  and  old  man  goes 
to  work  on  the  small  barrel.  Walter  hits  clown  again,  and  be  goes 
and  kicks  old  maoi,  and  accuses  him  of  kicking  him,  which  old  man 
denies,  and  sends  him  to  work  again.  Clown  goes  by  barrel  and 
stands  watching  old  man,  when  Walter  hits  him  again  on  the  leg. 
Clown  thinks  it  is  some  one  on  the  other  side  of  the  barrel,  and  he 
throws  bis  mallet  over  the  barrel  and  then  runs  round  to  see  who 
it  hit,  and  sees  no  one  there,  and  gets  very  angry,  and  says  in  action 
he  will  not  work,  and  leans  his  elbow  on  barrel,  and  resting  bis 
head  on  his  hand  goes  to  sleep.  Old  man  looks  up  and  sees  him, 
and  claps  his  hands,  and  motions  clown  to  go  to  work.  He  walks 
round  the  barrel,  and  hits  the  wedge  with  the  mallet,  but  does  not 
touch  the  barrel,  and  goes  round  as  if  half  asleep.  Old  man  seeing 
clown  at  work,  then  goes  on  with  his  own  work.  Then,  while 
clown  is  walking  round  the  barrel,  Walter,  who  is  inside,  raises  up 
with  the  barrel  and  walks  over  to  the  old  man  and  bumps  the 
barrel  against  him,  and  then  sets  the  barrel  on  the  ground  and  re- 
mains quiet.  Old  man  looks  up,  and  sees  clown  hammering  his  wedge 
and  walking  round  the  same  as  if  the  barrel  was  there.  He  goes 
over  to  clown  and  kicks  him,  and  he  looks  astonished  to  see  his 
barrel  gone.  Clown  accuses  old  man  of  moving  it  on  the  other  side, 
and  old  man  accuses  clown  of  knocking  his  barrel  up  against  him; 
and  then  old  man  moves  his  barrel  on  to  the  other  side,  and  tells 
clown  to  go  over  and  go  to  work  on  the  large  barrel.  Then  they 
commence  to  work  again,  and  the  clown  stops  to  laugh  at  the  old 
man,  and  when  he  is  not  looking  Walter  raises  up  in  the  barrel  and 
carries  it  over  to  old  man  and  knocks  it  against  him.  Clown  turns 
and  sees  the  barrel  going,  and  runs  to  catch  it,  at  the  same  time 
the  old  man  looks  round  to  see  who  is  moving  the  barrel,  and  seeing 
the  clown  by  the  barrel  he  thinks  he  has  discovered  the  oifender, 
and  hUs  him  on  the  head  with  his  mallet.  Clown  falls,  and  gets 
up  motioning  great  pain,  and  in  action  asks  old  man  what  he  hit 
him  for.  Old  man  motions  how  he  saw  him  push  the  large  barrel 
over  to  knock  against  him.  Clown  shakes  his  head  and  denies  it. 
Old  man  again  moves  his  own  barrel  on  the  opposite  side,  and  tells 
the  clown  to  go  to  work.  He  does  so  very  reluctantly,  and  the 
old  man  motions  he  is  very  tired  and  will  go  off  and  go  to  sleep. 
He  then  moves  his  barrel  and  the  table  off,  and  goes  off  himself. 
Clown  still  continues  working  on  his  own  barrel,  when  he  looks, 
and  seeing  the  old  man  gone,  he  motions  he  has  gone  to  bed, 
and  cannot  see  him,  and  leans  his  arms  on  the  barrel  and  his  head 
on  his  arms  and  goes  to  sleep;  when  Walter  raises  up  the  barrel, 
and  then  clown  looks  round  to  see  who  done  it,  but  not  seeing  any 
one  he  goes  to  sleep  again.  Then  Walter  raises  up  the  barrel  again, 
and  as  clown  wakes  up  and  looks,  Walter  dances  the  barrel  up  again. 
Clown  watches  it  dancing,  rubs  his  eyes,  then  runs  off,  and  pulls  on 
old  man  by  the  coat-tail,  and  motions  to  him  what  he  saw.  Old 
man  looks  at  the  barrel,  which  is  still  now,  and  shakes  his  head, 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 


and  tells  the  clown  to  go  to  work  again,  and  he  goes  off.  Clown 
then  looks  at  the  barrel,  and  Walter  dances  It  up  again,  and  dances 
after  clown,  who  retreats  in  fear,  and  then  turns  and  runs  off. 
W alter  takes  the  barrel  back,  and  clown  runs  in  with  old  man  and 
tells  him  to  look,  but  as  the  old  man  sees  the  barrel  quite  still  he 
tells  clown  his  head  is  crazy,  and  he  goes  off.  Clown  says  he  is  not 
afraid  and  he  will  go  and  listen;  he  does  so,  and  Walter  pulls  his 
ear;  he  calls  out  with  pain  and  runs  off.  Then  he  enters  with  a 
lighted  candle  in  a  candle-stick.  He  holds  it  up,  and  trembles  very 
much.  He  is  followed  by  the  old  man  and  Humpy,  who  are  cling- 
ing to  each  other's  coat-tails  in  a  line.  Clown  pats  his  breast,  and 
motions  them  to  be  brave;  they  motion  him  to  go  forward;  he 
walks  slowly  forward,  and  then  turns  and  runs  back;  they  are  all 
frightened.  He  laughs  at  them,  and  then  they  all  get  in  a  line 
again,  and  go  forward  to  the  large  barrel,  and  the  clown  puts  the 
light  to  the  bung-hole,  and  Walter  blows  it  out,  and  they  all  fall 
down  backwards,  and  Walter  dances  with  the  "barrel  amongst  them, 
and  as  each  one  gets  up  and  sees  the  barrel  dancing,  he  motions 
fear  and  jumps  over  the  light.  Then  Walter  follows  them  with  the 
barrel  still  over  his  head. 


THE  TRAGICAL  DUEL ;    OK,  THE  COMICAL  RIVALS. 

The  properties  needed  are  a  chair;  some  old  clothes;  a  tailor's 
goose,  and  a  sleeve-board,  split  half  way  of  its  length,  and  on  the 
broadest  part,  edgewise,  so  when  any  one  is  hit  with  the  flat  part 
it  will  clap  together  where  it  is  split  and  make  a  noise:  then  another 
sleeve-board  that  is  split  through  the  center  of  the  flat,  and  pasted 
together,  so  when  any  one  is  hit  it  will  split  in  two  parts;  a  pistol 
and  gun  not  loaded;  a  small  bag  supposed  to  contain  pieces  of  gold 
for  tailor;  a  shoemaker's  bench  and  tools,  a  large  awl,  a  lap- stone, 
hammer,  old  shoes,  a  pair  of  shoemaker's  clamps,  &c. ;  a  purse;  a 
large  bag  about  a  foot  long  and  six  inches  wide  for  cobbler,  and  a 
large  cabbage;  broom. 

This  comical  pantomime  was  performed  in  the  Vauxhall  Gardens, 
London,  for  two  summer  seasons,  in  a  grand  spectacular  ballet  pan- 
tomime, called  "Harlequin  Aurora,"  and  was  introduced  in  one 
scene,  like  the  players'  scenes  ia  "  Hamlet  "  and  the  "  Midsummer 
Night's  Dream,"  and  was  considered  one  of  the  most  successful 
shadow  performances  of  that  day.  It  was  commenced  by  the 
cobbler  coming  in  and  wiping  his  mouth,  intimating  he  has  just  had 
his  breakfast,  and  now  has  to  go  to  work.  His  bench  is  on  one  side, 
and  he  goes  and  sits  on  it,  and  jumps  up  in  pain,  and  picks  up  the 
large  awl  and  motions  that  be  sat  upon  it;  then  he  brushes  his 
seat  off,  and  then  sits  down,  and  puts  the  lap-stone  on  his  knee, 
and  gets  a  piece  of  leather  and  commences  to  hammer  on  it,  then 
hits  his  knee,  drops  the  lap-stone,  and  motions  he  bit  his  knee  with 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  67 

the  hammer,  and  it  hurt,  and  he  will  not  hammer  any  more,  but 
will  go  on  sewing  the  leather  on  the  shoe  that  wants  repairing. 
Then  he  gets  a  shoe  and  some  wax-ends,  and  then  commences  to  hum 
a  tune  as  if  singing  a  song  to  himself,  and  working  at  the  same 
time.  Then  the  tailor  comes  out,  and  expresses  that  the  cobbler  by 
his  singing  and  hammering  on  his  lap-stone  has  disturbed  his  rest 
and  woke  him  up;  and  he  looks  very  angry  at  the  cobbler,  and  then 
puts  his  fingers  in  his  ears  as  if  distracted,  and  goes  over  to  his 
chair  and  sits  down  and  goes  to  work;  sewing  on  some  old  coats. 
Then  a  man  j  umps  over  the  light  and  goes  to  the  tailor  and  gives 
him  a  coat  to  mend,  and  then  jumps  over  the  light  again.  Then 
a  man  jumps  over  the  light  and  goes  to  the  cobbler  and  gives  him 
a  pair  of  boots  and  indicates  he  wants  them  mended  on  the  soles 
and  heels.  The  cobbler  nods,  as  if  all  right,  and  the  man  jumps 
over  the  light.  Then  they  both  go  to  work,  and  a  boy  jumps  over 
the  light  and  comes  to  the  cobbler,  and  tells  him  to  mend  a  shoe  he 
gives  him.  The  cobbler  nods  all  right,  and  goes  on  humming  his 
song  and  working.  Then,  the  tailor  beckons  the  boy  to  come  to 
him.  The  boy  goes  to  him,  and  he  gives  the  boy  a  penny,  and 
whispers  in  his  ear,  and  the  boy  laughs  and  nods.  The  tailor  goes 
on  working  and  the  boy  goes  to  the  center  of  the  sheet  and  gives 
a  long  whistle,  and  looks  at  the  cobbler,  who  threatens  the  boy, 
who  laughs  and  whistles  again,  when  the  cobbler  gets  his  strap 
and  jumps  up  to  hit  the  boy,  who  avoids  the  blow  and  jumps  over 
the  light.  The  cobbler  looks  up  in  the  air  and  threatens  him,  and 
goes  back  to  his  work  again.  The  tailor  laughs  at  him,  and  when 
cobbler  is  not  looking,  the  tailor  whistles  at  him.  The  cobbler 
looks  up,  and  thinking  it  was  the  boy  again,  then  threatens  with 
his  strap  again,  and  goes  to  work.  The  tailor  laughs  and  whistles 
again,  then  goes  on  with  his  work.  The  cobbler  jumps  up,  and 
looks  round,  but  cannot  see  the  boy,  and  motions  he  will  watch 
for  him,  and  if  he  catches  him  he  will  beat  him;  then  he  goes  to 
work  again,  and  the  tailor  laughs  and  whistles  again,  and  the  cobbler 
looks  round  quick,  and  discovers  who  it  was,  and  gets  up  and  picks 
•up  the  cabbage,  and  as  the  tailor  turns  his  back  to  him,  the  cobbler 
throws  the  cabbage  at  him,  and  hits  him  on  the  back  with  it  and 
knocks  him  down,  then  turns  'round  and  laughs  heartily.  The 
tailor  gets  up,  and  in  a  great  rage,  he  seizes  his  goose,  and  intimates 
it  is  very  hot,  and  he  goes  over  and  burns  the  cobbler  behind  with 
it,  and  he  jumps  about  in  pain,  and  goes  to  hit  the  tailor,  who 
puts  up  the  goose,  and  the  cobbler  puts  his  hand  on  it,  and  halloas 
in  pain.  Then  the  tailor  laughs,  and  goes  to  his  his  seat.  Then 
the  cobbler  gets  up  and  challenges  him  to  fight  with  fists.  The 
tailor  agrees,  and  gets  up,  and  they  commence  to -spar  around  a 
little,  and  as  each  go  to  strike  a  blow  at  the  other,  the  old  man 
enters  and  comes  between  them,  and  gets  the  blow  and  falls  down. 
They  each  accuse  the  other  of  killing  the  old  man,  and  each  motion 
the  other  will  be  hung.  Then  they  lift  up  the  old  man.  Then  his 
daughter,  a  young  girl,  runs  in  and  pushes  them  both  away,  and 
takes  the  old"  man— her  father— off  at  the  side.  They  both  admire 


68  SHADOW  PAMOJTIJrfES. 


her  and  kiss  their  hands  to  her  as  she  goes  off.  The  cobbler  goes 
to  work,  and  the  tailor  runs  off  after  her  and  brings  her  back,  aaid 
in  action  motions  he  loves  her  and  will  marry  her.  She  pushes  him 
off  and  spurns  him,  which  the  cobbler  notices  and  laughs  at.  Then 
as  she  rims  off,  he  runs  after  and  brings  her  back,  and  kneels  and 
makes  violent  and  extravagant  love  to  her,  but  she  refuses  him, 
and  pushes  him  backwards, 'and  he  falls,  and  she  runs  off.  The 
tailor  laughs  at  the  cobbler,  who  gets  up  and  goes  to  work  again. 
Then  the  old  man  enters,  and  the  tailor  takes  him  by  the  hand,  and 
motions  that  he  loves  his  daughter  and  would  marry  her.  The  old 
man  in  action  asks  him  how  much  money  he  has,  and  expresses 
that  he  will  give  his  daughter  to  the  man  who  has  the  most  money. 
The  tailor  expresses  he  has  plenty  of  money,  and  will  go  and  get  it. 
And  he  goes  off  on  side.  Then  the  cobbler,  who  has  watched  the 
tailor  talk  to  the  old  man,  seizes  the  old  man  as  he  is  going  off, 
and  brings  him  back,  and  expresses  he  loves  his  daughter  and  would 
like  to  marry  her.  The  old  man  shakes  hands  with  him,  and  asks 
how  much  money  he  has.  The  cobbler  gets  a  purse  and  rattles  the 
gold  pieces  in  it  and  gives  it  to  the  old  man,  who  takes  his  arm, 
and  they  are  going  off,  when  the  tailor  enters  and  pulls  the  old 
man  back,  and  the  tailor  asks  how.  much  money  the  cobbler  gave 
him.  Old  man  shows  the  purse.  The  tailor  laughs,  and  then  shows 
the  old  man  hid  bag  of  gold.  The  old  man  takes  it  very  pleased, 
compares  the  weight  of  the  purse  and  the  bag.  Then  throws  the 
purse  down  at  the  cobbler's  feet,  and  then  pushes  him  away,  and 
talks  to  the  tailor,  and  intimates  he  is  the  best  fellow,  as  he  has 
the  most  money,  and  is  the  best  man  to  marry  his  daughter, 
and  takes  his  arm,  and  is  going  off.  While  they  have  been  talking, 
cobbler  has  been  to  his  bench  and  picked  up  the  bag.  He  puts 
the  purse  in  the  bag,  and  then  puts  his  lap-stone  in  it,  and  then 
laughs,  and  intimates  he  has  the  largest  bag  of  gold,  and  goes  to 
old  man  and  brings  him  back,  and  motions  that  he  will  give  more 
gold  than  the  tailor  gave  for  his  daughter.  The  old  man  in  action 
asks,  let  me  see  the  larger  amount  and  I  will  believe  you.  Then 
the  cobbler  holds  up  his  large  bag  and  old  man  is  astonished;  takes 
the  bag,  and  the  weight  of  it  pulls  his  arm  down.  Then  he  throws 
the  tailor's  bag  at  his  feet,  and  he  takes  the  cobbler's  arm,  and 
they  walk  off  together,  the  cobbler  laughing,  and  putting  his  ringer 
to  his  nose  at  the  tailor.  They  go  off.  Then  the  tailor  walks 
across  and  across,  and  gets  very  mad,  and  goes  to  the  cobbler's 
stand  and  stamps  his  foot  on  the  cobbler's  bench  and  tries  to 
break  it;  then  kicks  it  over;  then  walks  about  and  pulls  his  hair 
out  by  the  handful.  (Make  first  a  skull-cap  and  sew  some  hair 
loosely  on  it,  so  it  can  be  pulled  off,  for  the  tailor  to  wear).  Then 
goes  and  sits  on  his  chair,  and  puts  his  face  in  his  hands  as  if 
crying.  Then  a  jolly  young  sailor  (who  loves  the  old  man's 
daughter)  runs  in  and  expresses  he  has  just  come  to  see  his  girl, 
and  looking  over,  sees  the  tailor,  goes  to  him  and  slaps  him  on 
the  back,  and  the  sailor  asks  in  action  what  is  the  matter.  The 
tailor  expresses  that  he  is  in  despair,  as  his  rival,  the  cobbler,  having 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  69 

more  money  than  he  had,  has  got  the  old  man's  consent  to  marry 
his  daughter,  and  they  have  now  gone  off  to  get  married.  The 
gailor  motions  him  to  have  revenge  and  to  call  his  rival  out,  and 
in  action  expresses,  I  will  go  for  the  weapons  to  fight  with  while 
you  go  for  your  rival.  The  tailor  agrees,  and  runs  off,  and  the 
sailor  laughs,  and  goes  off  the  other  way.  Then  the  tailor  enters, 
and  pulls  on  the  cobbler,  and  expresses  you  have  stolen  away  the 
old  man's  consent  to  marry  the  girl  I  love,  and  I  want  satisfaction; 
you  must  fight  me;  my  friend  will  be  here  soon  with  the  weapons. 
The  cobbler  motions  it  is  all  right,  and  puts  up  his  fists,  and  wants 
to  fight  the  tailor  right  off;  and  just  as  they  are  going  to  fight  the 
sailor  runs  on  with  a  gun  and  a  pistol,  and  gets  in  between  them 
and  stops  them,  and  in  a.ction  expresses  that  is  a  vulgar  way  to 
fight,  and  shows  the  weapons,  and  gives  the  tailor  the  gun  and  the 
cobbler  the  pistol,  and  tells  them  to  fight  with  them.  The  tailor 
goes  on  his  own  side,  and  puts  the  gun  up  ready  to  shoot;  when, 
the  cobbler  sees  it,  he  motions  him  to  stop,  and  he  tells  the  sailor  it 
is  not  fair,  that  the  tailor's  weapon  is  longer  than  his,  and  he  wants 
a  loug  one  or  he  will  not  fight  ,at  all.  The  sailor  expresses  he  will 
try  and  fix  it  for  him.  and  he  goes  off  and  brings  on  a  broom,  and 
takes  the  cobbler's  pistol,  and  with  a  piecef  of  string  he  ties  it  on  to 
the  broom-handle,  and  gives  it  'to  the  cobbler,  who  is  now  quite 
satisfied,  and  tries  to  fire  it  at  the  tailor,  who  is  frightened  now, 
and  motions  the  cobbler  to  stop.  Then  the  sailor  expresses  that 
they  must  stand  back  to  back,  walk  three  paces  and  wheel  and  fire. 
They  agree.  Then  the  sailor  places  the  cobbler  in  the  center,  and 
gets  the  tailor  and  puts  him  with  his  back  up  against  the  cobbler's, 
and  he  walks  to  the  side.  Then  the  cobbler  sneezes,  and  bends  over 
and  bumps  his  back  against  the  tailor  and  knocks  him  down  on  his 
face;  he  gets  up  and  wants  to  shoot  the  cobbler  with  his  gun,  but 
the  cobbler  motions  he  could  not  help  it,  and  apologizes.  The  sailor 
puts  them  back  to  back  again,  and  motions  them  to  start  when 
he  claps  his  hands,  and  he  goes  off  and  claps  his  hands,  and  they 
both  run  off  on  opposite  sides.  Then  the  sailor  runs  in  and  laughs  at 
them,  and  runs  off  after  the  cobbler  and  pulls  him  back,  and  puts 
him  in  center  and  motions  him  not  to  move;  then  he  runs  off  after 
the  tailor,  and  pulls  him  back  and  places  him  as  he  was  before. 
Then  he  goes  off  and  claps  his  hands,  and  the  tailor  walks  three 
Steps  and  points  his  gun,  but  the  cobbler  walks  and  holds  his 
broom  up  to  his  shoulder  and  tries  to  reach  the  pistol  on  the  end 
of  the  handle,  but  cannot;  so  he  motions  to  the  tailor  not  to  shoot; 
then  motions  he  will  not  fight  that  way,  but  wants  to  fight  with 
swords.  Then  he  goes  and  gets  the  pair  of  shoemaker's  clamps,  and 
holds  them  like  a  sword,  defies  the  tailo*  to  mortal  combat.  The 
tailor  then  puts  his  gun  down  and  seizes  his  sleeve-board,  and  they 
fight  a  comical  combat,  hitting  each  other  as  often  as  possible  in 
all  the  prominent  parts  of  their  body,  when  the  tailor  hits  the 
cobbler  on  the  head  with  the  split  sleeve-board  and  breaks  it  in. 
two.  The  cobbler  falls  as  if  dead.  Then  the  tailor  takes  his  large 
shears  and  then  stabs  himself  with  them,  falls  as  if  dead.  Then 


70  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

the  sailor  enters  and  laughs  at  them.  Calls  on  the  old  man's 
daughter,  and  they  embrace,  and  he  asks  her  to  go  off  and  get 
married  to  him.  She  consents,  and  they  run  off  together.  Then 
the  old  man  comes  in  looking  for  his  daughter,  but  cannot  see 
her.  Sees  the  two  rivals;  calls  them  to  get  up;  as  they  do  not, 
he  kicks  them,  and  they  get  up  and  both  beat  him  with  the  clamps 
and  sleeve-board,  and  all  then  jump  over  the  light  together,  they 
beating  him  all  the  time. 


OLD  DAME  TKOT  AND  HER  COMICAL  CAT. 

Is  commenced  by  having  a  cauldron  or  large  iron  pot  in  the 
center  near  the  sheet,  then  two  witches  come  on  and  dance  on  each 
side  of  the  cauldron,  then  listen,  and  Old  Dame  Trot  enters,  and 
speaks : 

"  Sisters,  well  met,  for  lo !  your  magic  power 
Is  greatly  needed  at  this  very  hour. 
For  my  pet  plan,,  I  had  so  hoped  to  carry, 
Has  all  been  spoiled,  and  the  girl  will  not  marry 
The  one  I  choose,  but  vows  'twould  break  her  heart 
Should  any  wed  her  but  this  Johnny  Smart. 
In  league  against  me  powerful  fairies  come, 
The  Queen,  fair  constancy,  love,  truth  and  home, 
Put  them  to  flight  and  'twill  accomplish  all. 
The  other  witches  both  say  :     "  We  will !  we  will !"  and  dance 
and  halloa.     Then  Dame  Trot  speaks  : 

"What's  the  cause  of  this  terrific  noise?" 
IsZ.  Witch. — "  We  want  a  pantomime  to  please  the  boys." 
Dame  Trot. — "  Why  not  the  girls  ?    Aye,  old  men  and  women, 
A  good  one,  too,  that  will  go  off  screaming. 
It's  time  we  thought  of  one — what  shall  we  call  it  ? 
Let's  conjure  up  the  book  and  overhaul  it. 
Now  form  a  ring,  the  center  be  my  station, 
We'll  raise  a  pantomime  by  incantation." 

They  form  a  ring,  and  dancing  round,  sing  the  chorus  to  the  music 
of  the  witches  in  Macbeth  : 

"Around!  around!  around! 
About !  about !  about ! 
All  fun  come  running,  running  in, 
All  fun  come  running  in, 
To  mal£e  a  pantomime  come  out." 

Then  they  all  form  around,  and  raise  their  sticks,  and  halloa. 
1st.  Wiich — Sh6ws  a  paper  package,  and  sings  : 
"  Here's  the  head  of  a  clown  !" 
All  sing : — •      "Put  it  down,  put  it  down  !" 
and  she  casts  the  paper  into  the  iron  pot. 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  71 

2d.  Witch — Shows  a  paper  package,  and  sings  ; 
"  Here'g  a  used  up  pantaloon!" 
All  sing: —      "Put  it  down,  put  it  down  !" 
Dame  Trot — Shows  a  paper  package,  and  sings  : 
"Here's  harlequin  and  columbine, 

These  will  raise  a  pantomime." 

She  casts  in  her  package,  and  they  take  hands  and  dance  round,  and 
sing  the  previous  chorus,  then  she  picks  up  the  large  book,  and 
looks  in  it,  and  speaks  : 

"Here's  the  book,  though  ransacked  through  and  through, 
I  think  we'll  pick  a  pantomime  that's  sure  to  do. 
I've  struck  ile— that  fat, 

We'll  call  it  Dame  Trot  and  her  Comical  Cat." 
They  all  dance  around  and  halloa.     She  stops  them  and  speaks  : 
"Witches,  disperse,  get  out,  begone! 

And  meet  me  at  the  morning's  dawn." 

The  two  witches  pick  up  the  cauldron  and  take  it  off.  Then 
the  cat  enters,  and  fawns  around  Dame  Trot,  who  pats  it  and 
speaks : 

"  Come,  my  cat,  the  fairest  ever  seen, 
Let's  go  and  see  them  dancing  on  the  green !" 

She  and  the  cat  go  off.  Then  four  girls  come  on,  and  then  com- 
mence dancing,  when  Johnny  Stout  comes  in,  and  tells  them  the 
old  man  is  coming,  and  they  all  run  off.  Then  the  old  man  enters 
with  Johnny  Green  carrying  a  large  sack  and  staggering  under  the 
weight  of  it,  and  finally  falls  down  with  it.  The  old  man  gets 
angry  and  tells  him  to  pick  it  up.  He  tries  to  do  it,  but  motions  he 
cannot  do  it,  and  begs  the  old  man  to  come  and  help  him.  The 
old  man  goes  and  lifts  up  one  end,  and  then  Johnny  Green  stops 
and  looks  at  the  old  man  as  he  is  struggling  to  lift  it  up.  Then 
the  old  man  drops  the  end,  and  seeing  him  laughing,  he  gives  him 
a  slap  in  the  face,  which  Johnny  returns  with  interest.  Then  the 
old  man  motions  he  must  help  to  pick  up  the  bag.  He  motions 
he  will  do  so,  then  rubs  his  hands,  and  they  both  pick  up  the 
bag  and  put  it  on  Johnny's  shoulder,  but  the  weight  is  too  heavy, 
and  he  falls  back  on  the  bag.  The  old  man  gets  very  angry,  and 
motions  him  to  get  it  up  and  carry  it  off  to  the  mill.  Then  they 
both  pick  it  up,  and  then  Johnny  pushes  the  bag  on  to  the  old 
man's  shoulders,  and  pushes  him  along.  He  makes  him  carry  it, 
and  as  he  gets  nearly  off  with  it  Johnny  pushes  him  behind  with  his 
foot,  and  the  old  man  stumbles  and  falls  out  of  sight  with  the  bag. 
Then  Johnny  stands  and  laughs,  and  the  old  man  enters  and  kicks 
him,  and  he  runs  off  after  him,  and  they  run  across  two  or  three 
times,  when  Dandy  enters,  and  Johnny  runs  up  against  him  and 
knocks  him  down,  ani  he  runs  off.  Old  man  enters,  and  running, 
he  falls  over  the  dandy.  They  both  get  up  and  are  going  to  fight, 
when  they  recognize  each  other,  and  shake  hands.  Then  the  dandy 
motions  he  has  come  to  marry  his  daughter,  and  asks  to  see  her. 


72  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

The  old  man  motions  him  to  stay  where  he  is  and  he  will  go  and 
fetch  her.  Old  man  goes  off,  and  dandy  brushes  up  his  hair,  pulls 
up  his  collar,  and  then  the  old  man  enters  with  his  daughter  and 
motions  to  her  that  she  must  marry  the  dandy.  She  motions  that 
she  will  not.  The  old  man  threatens  her,  and  introduces  her  to 
the  dandy.  He  bows  very  extravagantly,  and  Johnny  looks  in  and 
is  behind  the  dandy,  and  as  he  is  bowing  he  pushes  dandy  on  his 
face,  and  runs  off.  Then  dandy  gets  up  in  a  rage  and  threatens 
Johnny,  who  runs  round  to  the  other  side.  The  old  man  pacifies 
the  dandy,  and  tells  him  to  embrace  his  daughter.  The  dandy  looks 
pleased  and  prepares  to  embrace  her,  when  Johnny  comes  in  and 
gets  in  her  place,  and  she  runs  off,  and  the  dandy  embraces  him, 
then  sees  his  mistake,  and  threatens  him,  but  he  stands  laughing  at 
him.  He  goes  to  hit  Johnny  a  slap  in  the  face,  but  he  bends  down 
quickly,  and  the  dandy  hits  the  old  man,  and  Johnny  laughs  .and 
runs  off.  The  old  man  threatens  the  dandy  and  pushes  him  off. 
The  dandy  tries  to  apologize,  but  the  old  man  pushes  him  off,  and 
then  goes  in  his  house.  Then  Johnny  Stout  enters  and  calls  out  the 
old  man's  daughter,  and  they  make  love  and  embrace.  Then 
Johnny  looks  in,  and  expresses  that  he  will  go  and  tell  old  man, 
and  he  runs  off,  and  old  man  enters  and  parts  the  lovers,  and  tells 
him  to  go  off,  and  pushes  her  in  towards  house.  She  refuses  to  go, 
but  he  pushes  her,  and  she  holds  against  him,  and  he  pushes  harder, 
then  she  runs,  and  the  old  man  falls  down  on  his  face,  and  Johnny 
enters  and  helps  the  old  man  up,  and  leads  him  in  the  house.  Then 
Johnny  Stout  comes  on,  and  expresses  they  will  not  let  him  marry 
the  girl  he  loves,  and  have  turned  him  out  of  the  house;  but  for 
revenge  he  will  plague  them  a  little;  so  he  claps  his  hands,  and  then 
runs  off.  Then  Johnny  comes  out,  and  looks  around,  and  says  he 
heard  some  one  call,  and  motions  he  will  watch  for  them;  and  he 
goes  in  again.  Then  Johnny  Stout  enters  and  laughs,  and  claps  his 
hands  and  runs  out  on  the  other  side.  Then  Johnny  and  the  old 
man  run  out  with  sticks,  and  then  beat  each  other  until  they  discover 
their  mistake.  Then  both  apologize,  and  go  in  the  house  again. 
Then  the  cat  comes  on  and  walks  about,  and  Johnny  Stout  enters 
and  claps  his  hands  and  runs  off.  Then  Johnny  Green  runs  out 
with  stick  and  beats  the  cat,  and  catches  her  and  takes  her  off  and 
returns,  and  motions  he  has  thrown  her  in  the  water.  Then  the  old 
man  comes  in  and  Johnny  explains  to  him  what  he  has  done,  and 
the  old  man  pats  him  on  the  back,  and  expresses  he  is  a  good  boy 
for  doing  it.  Then  a  large  bell  rings,  and  Johnny  Stout  runs  across, 
and  enters  with  the  cat.  Then  Dame  Trot  and  the  old  man's 
daughter  enter.  Then  the  four  characters  stand  two  on  each  side 
ready  to  change  their  dresses.  Then  Dame  Trot  speaks  : 
"Ding  dong  bell,  pussey's  in  the  well ! 
Who  put  her  in  ?— little  Johnny  Green. 
Who  pulled  her  out  ?— little  Johnny  Stout. 
To  punish  you  for  your  cruelty  I'll  begin, 
By  changing  Johnny  Stout  to  Harlequin, 
And  that  he  may  not  for  a  lover  repine 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  73 

Yon  old  man's  daughter  shall  be  his  Columbine. 

And  yon  old  man  must  change,  and  soon 

Appear  as  tottering,  pottering  Pantaloon. 

Johnny  Green,  on  whose  misdeeds  all  frown, 

Must  make  amends  as  jolly  Clown. 

Hey,  Presto  change !" 

Then  they  all  change  their  dresses  quickly,  and  she  runs  off,  followed 
by  the  cat.  Then  all  dance,  and  Clown  and  Pantaloon  see  Harle- 
quin and  Columbine  and  try  to  catch  them,  but  they  run  under 
their  arms  and  escape,  and  Clown  and  Pantaloon  knock  together  and 
fall  down  Then  Pantaloon  calls  Clown  to  pick  him  up.  He  comes 
and  picks  him  up,  then  jumps  on  his  back  and  drives  him  off. 
Then  the  music  changes  and  Dame  Trot  enters,  followed  by  the 
cat,  which  she  pets,  and  it  frisks  around  her  and  she  laughs,  and 
then  goes  off,  followed  by  the  cat.  Then  the  Harlequin  enters  and 
dances  a  little,  and  then  he  puts  her  off.  Then  he  stands  aside,  and 
Clown  runs  in,  and  Harlequin  hits  him  on  the  back,  and  he  turns 
and  hits  the  Pantaloon  a  slap  in  the  face.  He  says  :  "  What's  that 
for?"  Clown  says:  "You  hit  me  behind  my  back."  Pantaloon 
says:  "No,  I  didn't."  Clown  says:  "Oh,  I  saw  you  do  it. 
Look  out,  here's  somebody  coming."  Then  a  man  enters  with  a 
tray  with  a  large  pie  dish  with  a  paper  crust  made  over  it.  He  has 
a  large  paper,  with  the  words,  "  Mutton-pies"  cutout.  Clown  and 
Pantaloon  ask  him  how  he  sells  them.  He  puts  the  sign  up  against 
the  sheet,  and  holds  up  two  fingers.  Clown  says:  "What,  two 
shillings?"  Man  nods  yes,  and  Clown  takes  the  pie,  and  tells  the 
Pantaloon  to  pay  for  it.  Pantaloon  puts  his  hand  in  his  pocket  and 
gives  the  man  money,  and  the  man  goes  off.  Then  Harlequin 
moves  the  sign  and  puts  another  one  with  the  words  "Cat-pie" 
cut  out  in  the  same  place.  Then  Clown  and  Pantaloon  say  : 
"  Let's  sit  down  and  eat  our  nice  mutton-pie."  They  sit  down  and 
put  the  pie  between  them,  and  say:  "How  shall  we  cut  it,  we 
have  no  knife?"  Pantaloon  says:  "Excuse  yourself,  and  use 
your  ringers,"  and  as  they  go  to  break  and  raise  up  the  pie-crust, 
a  large  cat  jumps  out  and  runs  off.  They  both  fall  over  at  back, 
then  get  up  and  see  the  sign  and  throw  the  dish  and  the  sign  off 
after  the  cat,  and  Clown  says :  "I  don' t  want  any  pie ."  Pantaloon 
says:  "More  do  I."  Clown  says:  "Look  out  1  here  comes  the 
pie-man.  You  go  away;  I  want  to  lick  him  for  swindling  me." 
Pantaloon  runs  off,  and  the  pie- man  comes  on,  and  the  Clown  says: 
"  Here,  give  me  my  money  back — you've  swindled  me.  I'll  have 
you  arrested  for  putting  live  cats  in  your  mutton-pies."  The  pie- 
man says:  "  It's  no  such  thing;  you've  eaten  the  pie  and  now  want 
your  money  back."  Clown  says:  "  Give  me  the  money  or  I'll  lock 
you  up,"  and  pie- man  says:  "I  won't  doit."  Clown  then  seizes 
him  by  one  end  of  his  neck- tie.  and  pulls  it  and  says:  "  Come  along 
and  be  arrested."  Clown  pulls  and  the  pie-man  turns,  and  the 
neck-tie  unwinds  about  five  or  six  yards.  Then  the  pie-man  runs 
off,  and  Clown  laughs  and  begins  to  put  the  neck-tie  in  his  pocket. 
Then  Pantaloon  comes  in  on  the  other  side,  and  pulls  the  neck-tie 


74  SHADOW     PANTOMIMES. 

through  his  pockets  and  folds  it  up.  Clown  watches  the  neck-tie 
go  through,  then  he  turns  quickly  and  sees  Pantaloon  with  it,  and 
he  takes  it  from  him  and  slaps  him  in  the  face  with  it,  and  as 
Pantaloon  turns,  Clown  pushes  him  behind  with  his  foot,  and 
Pantaloon  stumbles  off,  and  Clown  follows  him  laughing.  Then 
Harlequin  and  Columbine  enter,  and  after  dancing  a  little  they 
run  off  Then  Pantaloon  enters,  and  when  he  gets  to  center  Clown 
runs  in  and  he  jumps  over  the  Pantaloon's  head,  and  turns  and 
kicks  him  in  the  head  and  he  falls.  Clown  picks  him  up,  and  says: 
"Look  out,  here's  somebody  coming  !"  when  a  boy  enters  with  a 
bundle  Clown  goes  to  him  and  takes  it  from  him,  and  says: 
"  All  right.  Bob.  it's  mine."  Boy  cries,  and  sroes  to  side,  and  says: 
"I'll  go  and  tell  mv  father,"  and  he  runs  off.  Clown  and  Panta- 
loon both  laugh,  and  say:  "Let's  sit  down  and  see  what's  in  it." 
They  both  sit  down  in  center  and  put  the  bundle  between  them,  and 
are  about  to  open  it.  when  the  bov  comes  back,  and  seeing  them, 
he  beckons  and  a  man  comes  on  with  a  gun;  boy  points  to  Clown, 
and  says:  "  There  they  are,"  and  he  runs  off.  The  man  comes  up 
to  Clown  and  Pantaloon  and  points  the  gun  at  Clown's  head,  and 
he  looks  up  and,  seeing  it,  throws  the  bundle  to  Pantaloon  and  says: 
"You  may  have  it."  and  he  runs  off.  Then  the  Pantaloon  laughs 
and  takes  the  bundle,  and  is  going  to  undo  it,  when  the  man  points 
the  gun  at  him,  and  he  looks  at  it  and  runs  off.  Then  the  man 
puts  his  gun  down  and  laughs,  and  sits  down  and  tries  to  undo  the 
bundle,  when  Clown  pops  his  head  in  on  one  side,  and  says:  "  All 
right,  I  know,"  and  goes  in  and  picks  up  the  gun,  and  points  the 
gun  at  man,  who  drops  the  bundle  and  trembles  very  violently,  and 
is  going  to  run,  when  the  Clown  calls  out,  "  Come  back  !"  and 
the  man  comes  back,  and  falls  on  his  knees  and  begs  for  his  life. 
Clown  says:  "  Take  off  your  hat."  The  man  hesitates,  and  Clown 
points  the  gun  at  him,  and  he  takes  it  off  quick,  then  tries  to  go, 
but  Clown  makes  him  come  back,  and  says:  "  Take  off  your  coat." 
The  man  hesitates,  and  Clown  points  gun  at  him,  and  says:  "Off 
with  it."  and  the  man  takes  it  off.  and  puts  it  down  by  the  hat. 
Then  Clown  says:  "  Take  off  your  vest;"  man  takes  it  off  and  puts 
it  with  the  other  things.  Clown  says:  "Take  off  your  pantaloons." 
The  man  hesitates.  Clown  says:  "Take 'em  off."  The  man  goes 
to  unbutton  them,  and  Clown  laughs.  The  man  looks  at  him,  and 
runs  off  quick.  Clown  laughs,  puts  the  coat  and  hat  on,  and  calls 
Pantaloon  on.  who  is  surprised  at  him,  then  laughs  and  picks  up 
the  bundle,  and  as  they  are  going,  the  man  comes  on  with  a  poh'ce- 
man,  and  he  points  to  Clown  and  Pantaloon,  and  he  goes  off.  Then 
the  policeman  goes  to  them  and  seizes  them,  and  they  are  very 
frightened,  and  he  drags  them  along,  and  when  nearly  to  the  side, 
they  trip  up  the  policeman  and  he  falls,  and  they  run  off,  and  the 
policeman  gets  up  and  runs  after  them.  Then  Clown  and  Pantaloon 
run  in  and  jump  over  the  light.  Then  the  policeman  runs  in  and 
jumps  over  the  light.  Then  Clown  comes  running  in,  and  knocks 
against  a  lady,  who  is  carrying  a  baby.  She  screams  and  he  apolo- 
gizes, and  asks  her  to  let  him  mind  the  baby  while  she  goes  out 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  75 

shopping.  She  consents  and  gives  him  the  baby,  and  she  goes  off 
Then  Clown  nurses  the  baby,  and  Pantaloon  enters,  and  seeing  him 
with  the  baby,  he  laughs,  and  says:  "Is  that  yours?"  Clown 
says:  "Yes;  I  just  bought  it  for  three  cents  "  Pantaloon  says: 
"Let  me  kiss  it  for  its  mother."  Clown  holds  up  the  baby  and  he 
kisses  it,  and  the  child  begins  to  cry.  Clown  says:  '*  Now  you've 
made  it  cry."  Pantaloon  says:  "I  didn't;  it  wants  something  to 
eat,"  and  he  runs  off  and  fetches  on  a  bowl  of  sawdust  and  a 
spoon,  and  gives  them  to  Clown,  and  he  feeds  the  baby.  Then  hits 
the  baby  with  the  spoon,  and  Pantaloon  takes  the  bowl  and  spoon 
off,  and  Clown  tries  to  pacify  the  child,  then  punches  its  head  and 
shakes  it,  then  puts  it  on  the  floor  and  sits  on  it.  Then  its  mother 
enters  and  screams,  and  Clown  gets  up  and  lifts  up  the  baby  and 
tries  to  run  off  with  it,  but  the  mother  seizes  it,  and  she  and  the 
Clown  struggle  for  the  possession  of  the  child.  As  they  are  pulling, 
the  dress  of  the  child  comes  off  in  the  hands  of  the  mother  and 
the  naked  baby  in  the  hands  of  the  Clown,  and  they  both  fall  down 
backwards.  Then  Clown  gets  up,  shows  the  baby,  holds  it  to  him 
to  cover  it  up,  and  runs  off,  and  the  mother  gets  up,  and  screaming 
very  loudly,  she  runs  after  him.  Then  he  runs  across  the  other 
way,  and  mother  after  him,  and  screaming.  Then  Clown  runs  in 
from  the  other  side,  and  stops  in  center  out  of  breath;  then  fans 
himself.  Then  the  mother  runs  in  and  snatches  the  baby  from 
Clown;  then  she  seizes  him  by  the  collar,  and  drags  him  off,  and 
screams  the  whole  time.  Then  Harlequin  and  Columbine  enter  and 
dance  a  little,  and  then  run  off.  Then  Clown  and  Pantaloon  enter 
together  dancing,  or  rather  burlesquing  the  dance  of  Harlequin  and 
Columbine.  Then  they  stop,  and  Clown  says:  "  Somebody  coming." 
Then  a  wood-sawyer  crosses  with  his  buck  and  saw.  Clown  steals 
the  saw  and  hits  the  Pantaloon  on  the  head  with  it.  He  says:  "I 
saw  you."  Clown  says:  "Look  out."  Then  a  man  with  a  wooden 
leg  enters  and  begs  some  money  of  Clown,  who  says,  "  We  have 
none,"  and  the  wooden-leg  man  kicks  him  with  it.  Then  the  Clown 
and  Pantaloon  seize  him  and  saw  his  wooden  leg  off,  and  make  him 
hop  home  without  his  leg;  the  man  calls  police,  and  a  policeman 
runs  in,  and  the  Clown  stabs  him  with  the  wooden-leg,  and  he 
staggers  and  falls  off  at  the  side.  Then  they  throw  the  leg  off  and 
dance  around  as  if  triumphant.  Then  a  woman  enters  with  a 
basket,  and  a  sign  with  the  word  "Eggs"  cut  out.  Clown  stops 
her,  and  bows  very  extravagantly,  and  says:  "  How  do  you  sell 
your  eggs?"  She  holds  up  her  hand  with  three  fingers  showing. 
Clown  says:  "Three  for  ten  cents,  all  right ;  let's  look  at  them." 
She  puts  down  her  basket,  and  while  the  Pantaloon  is  talking  to 
her,  the  Clown  steals  three  eggs  and  puts  them  in  his  pocket,  and 
says  to  her:  "  We  don't  want  any  this  morning,  because  we've  had 
our  breakfast,  but  call  to-morrow."  He  helps  lift  her  basket  up 
and  she  takes  it  off.  Then  Clown  and  Pantaloon  laugh,  and  Panta- 
loon laughs  at  Clown  as  he  is  sucking  the  eggs.  Then  Pantaloon  goes 
off,  and  when  Clown  has  sucked  the  last  egg  he  rubs  his  stomach,  and 
says  he  feels  good,  and  walks  about.  Then  Harlequin  runs  in  and 


76  SHADOW   PANTOMIMES. 

waves  his  bat  near  the  Clown's  stomach;  he  stops,  and  motions 
severe  pain.  Then  straightens  up  and  laughs,  and  says  the  pain  is 
gone.  Then  the  Harlequin  waves  his  hat  near  the  Clown's  stomach, 
and  runs  off.  The  Clown  makes  motion  of  violent  and  severe  pain, 
and  walks  about,  the  pain  almost  bending  him  double.  Then  he 
stamps  his  feet,  and  calls  for  the  Pantaloon,  who  runs  in  and  asks 
what  is  the  matter.  Clown  says:  "Oh,  oh,  my!  the  eggs  have 
hatched;  run  for  a  doctor!"  Pantaloon  runs  off  and  brings  on  a 
chair  and  a  doctor;  they  sit  Clown  down  in  the  chair,  and  the 
Pantaloon  holds  him  down,  and  has  the  duck  ready  to  be  pulled 
by  the  doctor,  as  if  it  came  from  the  Clown's  mouth.  Then  the 
doctor  rolls  up  his  sleeves  and  looks  down  the  Clown's  throat,  and 
makes  the  deception  by  the  shadow  as  if  he  was  feeling  down  the 
Clown's  throat;  then  when  he  pulls  his  arm  up  again  he  pulls  the 
duck  from  the  side  of  Clown's  head  from  the  Pantaloon,  and  in 
the  shadow  it  will  have  the  appearance  of  being  pulled  from  the 
Clown's  mouth.  Then  the  doctor  holds  it  up  in  triumph,  and  the 
Clown  looks  at  it  in  astonishment.  Then  the  doctor  lets  the  duck 
walk  about  the  floor,  and  he  and  the  Pantaloon  go  off  to  get  a 
drink.  The  Clown  laughs  at  the  duck  waddling,  and  he  imitates 
it;  then  frightens  it  off;  then  is  going  to  put  the  chair  off,  when 
he  feels  bad  again,  and  runs  around  in  pain;  then  calls  out,  and 
Pantaloon  runs  in  again  and  looks  down  his  throat,  and  sits  him 
in  the  chair,  and  goes  for  the  doctor,  who  goes  through  the  same 
action  as  before,  and  this  time  he  pulls  out  a  chicken,  and  throws  it 
up  and  lets  it  fly.  Clown  feels  better,  and  they  are  going  off,  when, 
he  is  taken  bad  again  and  calls  them  back.  They  enter,  and  are 
going  to  sit  him  down  again,  but  he  says:  "Wait  a  minute;"  he 
makes  the  action  of  taking  a  big  swallow,  then  he  laughs,  and  says: 
"  Never  mind,  it  has  gone  the  other  way."  Then  the  doctor  asks 
for  his  pay,  and  the  Clown  puts  his  finger  to  his  nose  and  runs  off, 
followed  by  the  doctor  and  the  Pantaloon.  Then  the  Clown  enters 
to  run  across  again,  when  an  old  woman,  with  a  basket  of  fish  on 
her  head,  is  entering,  when  the  Clown  knocks  his  head  in  her 
stomach,  and  she  falls  backwards  and  throws  the  fish  and  fish-basket, 
and  it  falls  on  the  Pantaloon  as  he  is  entering  behind  Clown.  Then 
the  old  woman  gets  up  and  wants  her  basket,  and  the  Clown  helps 
to  put  her  basket  on  her  head,  but  as  he  does  so  he  steals  all  the 
fish.  Then  the  woman  goes  off  with  the  basket  on  her  head  and 
calling  out  "fish!"  Clown  and  Pantaloon  both  laugh  at  her,  and 
then  Pantaloon  says:  ' '  Let's  divide  them,"  and  they  both  sit  down 
with  the  fish  in  between  them,  and  the  Clown  takes  up  one  very 
small  fish,  and  says:  "There's  one  for  you,"  and  gives  it  to 
Pantaloon,  then  he  takes  up  the  largest  one  and  puts  it  on  his  own 
side,  and  says:  "  There's  one  for  me— there's  no  cheating  when  you 
count  them  this  way."  Then  he  takes  up  another  small  one  and 
gives  it  to  the  Pantaloon,  and  says:  "  There's  two  for  you,"  and 
then  he  takes  up  two  of  the  large  ones,  and  says:  "And  here's 
two  for  me  too."  Then  the  Pantaloon  objects,  and  the  Clown  says: 
"Oh,  why  don't  you  go  to  school  and  learn  arithmetic?"  and  he 


SHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  77 

counts  them  over  again  in  the  same  way.  While  he  is  doing  so,  the 
old  fish- woman  enters  with  a  policeman,  and  she  goes  off,  and  the 
policeman  goes  and  stands  in  between  them.  Pantaloon  says:  "I 
know  it's  not  fair,  you've  taken  all  the  largest  ones."  Clown  says: 
"Well,  all  the  largest  ones  are  mine,  because  I  stole  them;"  then 
he  looks  round  and  sees  the  policeman  and  gets  very  frightened, 
and  Pantaloon  says:  "No  you  didn't  steal  them,  it  was  I  stole 
them."  Clown  says:  "Of  course  you  stole  them,  and  you  can 
have  them  all,"  and  he  runs  off.  Then  Pantaloon  picks  them  up, 
and  as  he  gets  them  all  in  his  arms  and  is  going  off,  then  he  turns 
and  sees  the  policeman;  he  drops  the  fish  and  says:  "  I  don't  want 
them,"  and  runs  off.  The  policeman  laughs  at  them,  and  picks  up 
the  biggest  fish  and  looks  at  it  admiringly,  when  the  Clown  looks 
in  and  says:  "Ah,  I'll  tell  your  sergeant!"  and  the  policeman 
drops  the  fish  and  shakes  his  club  at  the  Clown,  who  goes  off.  Then 
the  policeman  looks  round,  then  picks  up  the  fish  and  puts  it  up 
his  coat  at  back,  and  buttons  his  coat  in  front,  then  shakes  his 
staff  and  runs  off.  Then  Clown  and  the  pantaloon  run  in  and  laugh, 
and  are  picking  up  the  fish,  when  the  policeman  enters  and  seizes 
them  to  arrest  them,  when  they  trip  him  up  and  he  falls,  and  they 
steal  his  club  and  beat  him  very  unmercifully  on  the  head;  then 
as  he  gets  up  they  seize  him  on  each  side  by  the  coat-collar  and 
coat-tails  and  throw  him  over  the  light,  and  they  rejoice  in  their 
triumph  and  walk  off  arm-in-arm.  Then  the  Harlequin  and  Colum- 
bine enter,  and  dance  across.  Then  Dame  Trot  enters  with  a  string 
of  small  fish  in  her  hand.  She  is  followed  by  the  cat,  who  tries  to 
jump  for  the  fish,  but  she  raises  them  out  of  her  reach,  and  stops 
and  speaks: 

"  Here,  my  cat,  are  fish  that  are  nice, 
Which  I  will  give  you  if  you  catch  me  some  mice." 

She  walks  off,  and  the  cat  follows  her  and  tries  to  get  the  fish. 
Then  Clown  and  Pantaloon  run  in  and  laugh.  Then  Harlequin 
enters  and  slaps  Clown  on  the  back  with  his  wand.  Clown  slaps 
Pantaloon  in  the  face  for  it,  and  tells  him  to  stop.  Pantaloon  says: 
"  I  done  nothing."  Clown  says:  "Well,  don't  do  it  again." 
Then  Harlequin  hits  Pantaloon,  and  he  hits  the  Clown  and  knocks 
him  down.  Clown  asks  what  he  done  it  for.  Pantaloon  says: 
"You  better  stop  your  fooling  with  me."  Clown  says:  "I  done 
nothing  to  you."  Then  Harlequin  waves  his  bat  between  their 
legs,  and  slaps  them  on  the  calves  with  it,  and  they  look  down  to 
see  who  done  it,  and  the  Harlequin  slaps  them  both  on  the  back, 
and  they  turn  and  see  him,  and  run  off  and  get  a  pistol,  and  snap 
off  the  caps,  like  firing  the  pistol  at  him,  but  he,  to  avoid  it,  jumps 
over  the  light,  and  a  fat  man  coming  in  just  then,  he  is  supposed 
to  get  shot,  and  he  falls  down,  and  they  raise  him  up  and  ask  him 
where  he  is  shot ;  he  says  in  his  stomach.  Pantaloon  gets  a  chair, 
and  they  put  the  fat  man  in  it,  and  he  twists  about  and  groans  in 
pain.  Then  a  carpenter  crosses  the  stage  with  his  tool-box  in  his 
hand,  from  which  the  Clown  steals  an  auger,  a  mallet  and  a  pair 


78  SHADOW  PANTOMIMES. 

of  tongs,  and  puts  them  by  the  fat  man,  who  is  still  groaning. 
Then  a  baker  crosses  with  his  tray  on  his  head  with  a  long  twist 
loaf  on  it,  which  the  Clown  steals,  and  the  baker  goes  off.  Then 
the  Clown  asks  the  man  where  he  was  shot,  and  he  points  to  his 
stomach;  the  clown  gets  the  auger  and  is  going  to  bore  into  the 
fat  man's  stomach,  but  he  jumps  up  and  tries  to  stop  him,  when 
Pantaloon  seizes  him  and  holds  him  down.  Then  Clown  sticks  the 
auger  in  his  stomach,  and  he  commences  turning  it  around  as  if  he 
was  boring  into  him.  The  fat  man  squirms  around.  Then  Clown 
pulls  the  auger  out,  and  feels  in  the  opening  of  his  vest  for  the 
ball  with  the  tongs,  but  cannot  find  it.  Then  he  rolls  up  his  sleeve, 
and  feels  in  between  the  fat  man's  vest  and  pulls  put  the  large  ball, 
and  all  are  astonished.  The  fat  man  wants  to  get  up,  but  Clown 
calls  out,  "Hold  him  down,  he's  not  cured  yet."  Then  he  shows 
the  twist  loaf,  and  measures  the  depth  of  the  man  through  his 
stomach,  and  breaks  a  piece  of  the  loaf  off;  then  puts  the  small 
end  in  the  opening  of  the  man's  vest,  and  then  gets  the  mallet 
and  drives  it  in  the  vest,  and  he  buttons  it  over  the  loaf,  and  the 
man  feels  better,  and  gets  up  and  feels  all  right— shakes  hands  with 
them  and  goes  off.  Then  Clown  and  Pantaloon  both  laugh  at  him, 
and  throw  the  things  off.  Then  a  tinman  comes  on  with  his 
furnace  and  two  soldering-irons  in  it;  he  comes  on  calling  out, 
*' Any  old  tin-ware  to  mend!"  The  Clown  and  Pantaloon  get  on 
each  side  of  him,  and  say:  "How  do  you  do,  tinker?"  He  puts 
down  the  furnace,  and  takes  his  soldering-irons  in  each  hand,  and 
as  they  offer  to  shake  hands  with  him,  he  puts  the  hot  irons  in 
their  hands,  and  they  call  out  with  pain,  and  seize  him  and  pitch 
him  over  the  light,  and  burn  him  with  the  irons  as  he  goes.  Then 
both  laugh,  and  by  mistake  put  the  irons  in  their  pockets  and  burn 
themselves.  Then  a  lame  man  with  two  crutches  comes  in  and 
says:  "  Please  give  a  poor  cripple  a  penny."  They  laugh  at  him, 
and  burn  him  with  the  hot  irons.  He  drops  his  crutches  and  runs 
off.  They  each  drop  their  iron  and  pick  up  a  crutch,  and  use  it  as 
if  they  were  lame,  when  the  crippled  man  enters  and  he  picks  up 
the  irons  and  burns  them  both  until  they  run  off,  and  he  follows, 
waving  the  irons  in  triumph,  and  runs  off.  Then  Harlequin  and 
Columbine  enter,  and  Old  Dame  Trot  and  the  cat.  She  beckons 
Harlequin  and  Columbine,  and  she  joins  their  hands  and  speaks  : 

"Your  course  is  o'er — the  race  of  fun — 
These  constant  lovers  have  most  nobly  won. 
Ere  to  our  fairy  realms  we  take  our  flight 
I  bid  to  each  and  all  a  fair  good  night, 
And  may  the  genial  glow  of  virtue  cheer 
Your  happy  firesides  in  the  coming  year." 

And  they  all  run  off,  and  as  Clown  and  Pantaloon  enters  to  follow 
them,  an  ugly  demon  jumps  in  and  stops  them.  He  has  a  large 
wooden  pitchfork  in  his  hand,  and  as  Clown  and  Pantaloon  come  near 
him  he  gives  them  a  push  with  the  pitchfork  and  sends  them  over  the 
light.  Then  the  tinker,  then  the  cripple,  then  the  policeman,  then 


BHADOW  PANTOMIMES.  79 

the  fish-woman,  then  the  Clown  enters  behind  the  demon  as  he  is 
laughing,  and  Clown  steals  the  pitchfork  from  the  demon,  and  with 
it  throws  him  over  the  light.  Then  the  Clown  waves  the  pitchfork 
in  triumph  and  follows  him. 

Properties  required. — A  cauldron,  or  three-legged  iron  pot :  three 
crooked  witch-sticks;  three  small  paper  packages;  large  book;  large 
bag  stuffed  with  straw;  two  short  sticks;  Harlequin's  bat;  a  large 
pie  with  a  cat  inside  it;  a  tray;  a  sign  with  the  letters  cut  out, 
"  Mutton  pies  ;"  a  sign,  "  Cat  pies;"  a  bundle;  a  gun;  policeman's 
club;  a  baby;  a  bowl  of  sawdust  and  a  spoon;  a  wooden  leg;  a  saw; 
a  basket  with  a  sign,  ''Eggs;"  three  blown  eggs;  a  live  duck  and  a 
chicken;  a  basket  of  fish,  some  small  and  a  large  one;  string  of 
small  fish;  pistol,  with  a  cap  on,  but  no  load;  chair;  large  ball 
three  inches  in  diameter;  a  carpenter's  box,  with  an  auger,  tongs 
and  mallet  in  it;  a  baker's  tray,  with  a  long  twist  loaf  in  it;  a 
tinker's  furnace  and  two  soldering-irons;  a  pair  of  crutches;  a  wooden 
pitchfork  and  a  demon's  mask. 


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fEBiq'81 


"FnPAA  Mn    nn>,  UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA,  BERKEU 

FORM  NO.  DD6,  60m,  3/80          BERKELEY,  CA  94720 


I 


